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Im Not Ashamed But Need Help Coping With Questions I Dont Want To Answer...



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Ok let me tell you I've lost 70 pounds and have not said a damn thing to anyone at work. Let them think what they want; I don't care. I'm not at all ashamed of my sleeve, but I just don't feel my medical condition is any of their business. And let me tell you I even eat lunch in a group, but IDGAF. I eat my little Soup most days for lunch. Ive gotten compliments on how good I look, but it pretty much stops there. I just really don't care to be the topic of people's conversation, that's why I didn't tell my inlaws either. It is like the big pink elephant in the room, but aghh... They'll get over it.

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I am still confused on why people think their coworkers need to know. I say let them talk.

THANK YOU!

OP, you are a grown woman. You don't have to detail, explain, or justify anything to anyone who will not be directly affected by your actions.

They ask. You respond, "that's none of your concern." I guarantee that will end the questions because the person you say that to will spread that response around like Hermes with a message from Zeus and nobody will want to approach you with it after that.

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Im having my surgery in the hospital I work at- so the people who will be caring for me are my co workers. I am pretty open with everyone- although there has been a few ( like my MIL) I have held off on telling. She always is always suggesting diets and other programs she hears about on Dr. Oz and the Dr's. She just loves telling me about other peoples success. (although oddly enough she is overweight herself and has yet to lose an ounce from her suggestions). I don't really know what she has against WLS- but she has her opinion. I don't really care- this procedure is not about her decision- its about mine!!!

Mother-in-Laws suck - I can't stand mine too! :)

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Mother-in-Laws suck - I can't stand mine too! :)

I am in the same boat!!! I never thought I could dislike my husbands mother so much.

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I find it all so interesting that they are much nicer when we were dating their sons, but once you are a permanent fixture and have been for 13 years....it is now time to give up the b**ch!

I seriously dislike mine so much I have now gone 3 years and 5 months without ever speaking a word to her. Thank God she lives in another state and I don't have to see her.

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I think I'm not prepared to deal with the questions. My office is soooo nosy! All of us have been caught up in the office gossip about why so and so is out of the office. I don't really care what they think, but I'm just not sharing until I'm ready. So, my story is that I'm having a procedure to deal with some underlying heart issues. And, I'm sticking to it!

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I think I'm not prepared to deal with the questions. My office is soooo nosy! All of us have been caught up in the office gossip about why so and so is out of the office. I don't really care what they think, but I'm just not sharing until I'm ready. So, my story is that I'm having a procedure to deal with some underlying heart issues. And, I'm sticking to it!

I wouldn't fake a heart problem to keep someone out of my business.

If you really feel like you must say something, say random foolish stuff and make sure you change it everytime someone asks:

"I'm having hooves implanted because I'm tired of shoe shopping"....and walk away.

"I'm having my nose cut off to spite my face".....and walk away.

"I'm having the hair on my knuckles transplanted to my scalp".......and walk away.

"I'm having my ears cut off because I'm tired of hearing people ask me questions that are none of their business"...and walk away.

"I'm having my fingernails removed because polish is getting too expensive"....and walk away.

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Someone one another thread posted she was having hemorrhoid surgery LMFAO! I love that, although I don't think you should have to make up a lie. One of my previous HS BFF's lied to us and told us she had stomach cancer. It really ruined friendships. I have to tell you she ended up with thyroid cancer later. Karma is a ******!

I just say it is Nunya. Nunya damn business!

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I didn't mind telling anyone, friends family coworkers total stranger. I am proud of my decision and that is all that matters. We are doing this to be healthy so we can have a longer life span with our families. If someone in negative to you it's just because they are jealous. Stand up tall and be proud that you made the right decision for you. I'm proud of each and everyone of us. SLEEVED 7/16/12 DOWN 23 LBS . That counts the two week pre open liquid diet.< /p>

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Mother-in-Laws suck - I can't stand mine too! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />

Touché!! MIL's suck!!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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To me this is about living longer and maintaining a healthy and happy life style. I had a heart bypass surgery in 2010 which made me wake up to wat s important.

Anything i choose that will improve my quality and length of life is surely nothing to be kept secret.

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I have only told my parents siblings and my sons godmother about having surgery. How do i answer to my co workers and friends and other family about why ive lost so much weight all of a sudden? Its not that i am ashamed its all the negative responses im worried about. My supervisor has asked several times whats wrong and i tell her i am fine its just a medical procedure im having done but i will be fine. She proceeds to give me a the ugliest look and says that i sure am being real secretive but that if i say im fine then she just wont worry for about me then.(grrr it was so rude of her!) Its not like it is their business anyways, right!?!? Please help!

I work for satan himself so I know how supervisors are. I've changed my drinking & eating habits alittle. Made comments about starting another "diet". Started taking stairs, etc. Whatelse you decide to do is none of their business. I'm even using vacation instead of sick leave so I don't have to show papers. Like I've said before, if they don't need to know its my TOM they dont' need to know anything else either. Just being nosey. I may answer honestly to another person who might benefit from the same procedure and if I can trust them. Maybe.

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One of the anesthesiologists at my job had wls, but he told everyone he started a low carb diet and running, and we believed him. He drank his low carb shakes at work, and dropped over 100 pounds in no time. We all admired his dedication to a low carb diet, and never knew any different. It wasn't until much later that he told me personally that he had the sleeve. Do you think he was trying to give me a hint, lol?

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I wasn't telling people but now find I am telling more and more. Turns out two people I work with have had the surgery. We now have a little club of our own, lol! Also, another came and told me she wanted the surgery and she was so relieved to have someone to talk to. These experiences have far outweighed the few negative responses I have received.

My PA has known from the start and has had a hell of a time with people trying to get him to spill the Beans but he knew I did not want to be the subject of gossip so I didn't publicize it widely. However if someone asks me to my face how I am losing the weight, I just tell them. No excuses. No embarrassment. Proud and happy. It is quite freeing!

Sent from my iPad using VST

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I wasn't telling people but now find I am telling more and more. Turns out two people I work with have had the surgery. We now have a little club of our own' date=' lol! Also, another came and told me she wanted the surgery and she was so relieved to have someone to talk to. These experiences have far outweighed the few negative responses I have received.

My PA has known from the start and has had a hell of a time with people trying to get him to spill the Beans but he knew I did not want to be the subject of gossip so I didn't publicize it widely. However if someone asks me to my face how I am losing the weight, I just tell them. No excuses. No embarrassment. Proud and happy. It is quite freeing!

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

Ok, what the heck is a PA. I always thought Physicians Assistant. But that makes no sense in this context.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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