Dating

[tinfoil_heroine 19]

Does anyone find dating weird? One, dates ALWAYS involve food. Two, men always want women to eat their weight on dates or else they have an eating disorder or something. Three, I don't really want to tell people I just met that I had surgery because it's really none of their business, and frankly, people ALWAYS seem to think it's something I want their opinion on. Which it isn't.

What I really need is a sleeved guy, and then we can share food. And war stories. HEY SLEEVED GUYS! SINGLE GIRL HERE.

No, seriously. Does anyone feel weird, or is it just me?

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Something about a girl in a gasmask scares me.

[keldolbeth 262]

Oh yes, this was a major concern I had when thinking about dating post-op. That, and just when, or if, to tell a guy. I'm three weeks post-op and wasn't planning on dating for a few months. However, I met someone on match.com right before surgery. My suggestion is to plan the date yourself. (What guy doesn't love us doing the work for them?) Make it in the middle of the day or late at night and find other options that don't include dinner. At least if you were just going to do a drink/app thing you could nibble a little and just make up a reason for why you can't drink. But, yes, I'm aware they expect us to eat heartily, which I don't like to do on a date for other reasons.

This guy lives an hour away so this is easy to do when he comes here. We've gone swimming, watched a movie at home and to see live music. I was supposed to go up there tonight but some work stuff got in the way, which I'm almost relieved about since he kept mentioning dinner. He says he needs to take me out since he hasn't spent any money on me yet. Ok, not used to that! I've gone as far as looking online and contacting friends who live near him to find date ideas to get out of dinner! lol

[Lissa 2,631]

I'm talking to a sleeved guy. It's cool, but weird, too. He knows every issue I'm going through, which I am not sure how I feel about that yet.

[jennapenn 5]

This is also a concern for me. People just dont understand all the time. And your completely right its not something I want to share right away! I just hope that guys can be as understanding as I want them to be!!

[keldolbeth 262]

I'm talking to a sleeved guy. It's cool, but weird, too. He knows every issue I'm going through, which I am not sure how I feel about that yet.

I agree, I'm not sure how I would feel about that. I've mentioned on a previous thread that my weight is a very personal issue for me and even more so my WLS. I think it would be a little odd/awkward with a sleeved guy. Also, I could see it getting competitive (just my nature) unless one of you are at/near goal. I don't know, I guess I shouldn't knock it until I try it. The guy I'm talking to has lost a significant amount of weight himself (still not exactly sure how but don't think it's surgery) so it's nice to know he can support my habits without knowing every little detail.

[iegal 460]

Seems most of lifes social interactions involve food. So - when you go out for those first couple of dates here are some tips.

First date - go for coffee/tea Order a Skinny Decaf vanilla Latte (160 calories & 10 gram Protein - order Soy if lactose issues) and go for a walk afterwards. You would be amazed at what you find out about a person in a book store.

Second date - go out for appitizers. Tell date you don't drink on worknights (no alcohol) or say you have an early morning next day. You pick the place. Do your research going on the internet to search menus that have Protein items you can have like fish, wings or another protien. At PF Changs I eat the chicken in lettuce wraps. NUMMY

Date three - By now you should be able to feel comfortable enough to go out and do something. It is summer, so find a local park concert, bikeride, beach walk or go to a farmers market. You pack the Snacks.

Remember, dating is about getting to know someone. Eating is just another way to have fun. You will know when it is time to approach the subject of - "hey, I am actively trying to lose weight so where would you like to go to do something together?"

Now, get out there and have fun!

[tinfoil_heroine 19]

Something about a girl in a gasmask scares me.

O.T.R. are you saying that I shouldn't wear it on dates? There goes my icebreaker. I just really wanted to highlight my eyes.

Kidding. I got it at work.

Anyways, iegal, you're right. I know there are other things to do (I think) besides eat and consume booze. I'm just new to this. What is this 'sober dating' that you speak of?

[Lissa 2,631]

Tinfoil, I have a gas mask too. A survivalist friend of mine gave it to me for my birthday a couple of years ago.

[Texarkolina 201]

I don't really want to tell people I just met that I had surgery because it's really none of their business, and frankly, people ALWAYS seem to think it's something I want their opinion on. Which it isn't.

That is something that I have been thinking for a while. Mention weight loss surgery and everyone has something to say....

[Piplula 709]

You go that right..I had a Dr. Friend of line try to talk me out of it because she has a patient not do well with her "bypass" which I explained was not what I was having ..and now..she sees she was wrong..oh well..that was off the thread's subject...but that wast two cents worth! Lol

[Piplula 709]

Sigh..I'm gonna have to reread my threads before I send..I hate this phone..sorry about the typos..I can hold an intelligent conversation in person..but apparently not online!

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

O.T.R. are you saying that I shouldn't wear it on dates? There goes my icebreaker. I just really wanted to highlight my eyes.

I will admit. It worked. And they are entrancing.

Here's one that works, just say that your on a mission to lose weight, and that you are" following the diet that is given to patients after WLS" then later when it's time to come clean you can simply add that the reason you chose to follow that diet is because you DID have WLS.

[chitowngirl 886]

As a married gal who just had surgery, our date nights consist of concerts, movies, plays, long bike rides, museums, amusement parks. I've also found going to fancy restursnts is Awsome, I used to get pissed at those small servings, now they are perfect. I also find I'm able to camouflage my small eating portions with Soup, yeah it gets kinda weird that is 90 degrees outside and I'm ordering soup. Lol. I don't think you should totally dodge the whole eating out, maybe get a late bite, and just say your eating light. I've noticed that more than anyone else I pay attention to my portions, my husband or family doesn't even realize how much I eat, or should I say how much I dont eat.