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How Do I Raise My Vsg Plan With My Husband?



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Hi I'm a newbie on VST. I've been thinking about and researching vsg for a while now. Last week I saw a surgeon and my insurance has approved my surgery! Yay op is on 10/01/12. Can't wait to start my journey! Problem is I haven't told anyone - not even my husband! How did you raise the subject with your other half?

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I find honesty is the best. Sit him down and just tell him what you are doing. He loves you and would want you to be happy.

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Honesty. Sit down and communicate.

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Talk with your husband and explain why you need to have this done. I would suggest have him attend a seminar with you so he can hear from the physician explaining the process. My husband was not that keen on the idea at all until he attended the seminar and then he was onboard.

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I have been on just about every diet there is. My husband has been there all through all of that. I took him to dinner and said I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I went to an info session, taking him with me. He is my support along with my 2 adult daughters. Talk to him, hon.

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I just sat him down and told him I was ready to do this. Im not sure he believed me at first. Til I quit smoking for 6 months, and then no alcohol..but he was finally convinced I was going through with it when I gave up my caffienated coffee! I just told him, I have yo yo dieted all my life, down big lbs only to gain it all back..you know the routine. I said I have it in me to do it again, but I refuse to let myself gain it back and this is the tool I need to be succesful. Good luck :)

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This was my approach.

We were taking a walk and I said

"So, as you know I have been on every diet known to man. I have been working this last one for 5 months. I now have a grasp on what is realistic. I have begun researching surgical options. I think I have found the right one for me."

Then if he is like most men, just stop talking and let him process what you have said. If he is one to react rather than process, then be prepared to call on his superman desires.

Example - Him - "I hope you haven't done anything about this" - or something to that measure. Then you must admit what you have done then seek his counsel. You - "Yes, I have and now I am so scared, can you please help me?"

I was lucky in that my husband was immediately curious as to what the options were and what were the risks - basically the right questions and being supportive.

Good luck!

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My conversation went something like this... You know dh I went to the doctor today and he actually recommend that I look into wls. I feel like he's right. I've been struggling with my weight for so long, im so done living like this. It actually made my hubby feel better that a doctor was actually recommending it. I also told my husband on the same day, I called our insurance and our policy does cover it.

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Thank you all so much for your stories and advice. I agree - I'm going to be honest, sit him down and explain that I'm tired of yo-yo diets (I've been on 10 in 15 years). I'm tired of paying hundreds of dollars to loose 20lbs and then put on more weight the minute I stop. I know he'll understand how unhappy I've been. I know he'll tell me he loves me just the way I am. Bless him. I hope he'll understand that it's not about how much he loves me, but more about how I desperately want to love myself. Thanks again.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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      1. This update has no replies.
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