Yoda's Jedi Journals (aka Yoda's Yammerin's)

[Lila 0]

I understand! Really.

[Yoda 0]

On a happier note, here is Yoda's Yuk Yuk:

Mrs. Mandi was famous for her Boston Bean Soup. When her secret was asked for, she replied that used only 239 Beans. The reporter queried, "how come only 239?" Mrs. Mandi replied, "cause one more would make it too farty."

[neenagh 0]

i totally understand, because either way it would devistate me, if she didnt see it, or she was shocked at the #s

on the other hand, you know she's very self centred, so why not just let it go? I bet your dh sees a difference!

[argon 3]

awww Yoda.... that would be disappointing. I can only imagine what people will do to me when I see 'em! Don't you worry... next time you see her, and the time after that, you're gonna keep looking better and better. She'll be asking YOU how to get in shape.

Nice joke :confused: LOL

[green 6]

Yep, I understand. If you have to point out your weight loss to her it is like you haven't lost an ounce and that is real depressing. She is obviously one of those very self-absorbed individuals.

[CLOE 0]

Nice joke, Yoda!!

My hubby told me one yesterday, hopefully I can remember it.....

*When a man is bald at the front of his head, it means he's a thinker. When a man is bald at the top of his head, it means he is good in bed. When a man is bald all over his head, it means he just thinks he's good in bed!!

My husband is bald, so it was very funny. Save that one for your bald friends!!

[Irishmist 0]

I loved your Yuk Yuk Yoda.

Your's too Cloe, I guess that is why my husband is still GOOD at 63, I will have to tell him it is because he is bald on the top of his head.:confused: :eyebrows:

Maria:D

[green 6]

My husband still has a full head of hair so maybe I shouldn't be say this but bald men are more virile. This is true. They have more male hormones and it is those hormones which cause a man to lose his hair. Those baldies can really perform! lol

[CLOE 0]

That explains alot!!:confused:

[Yoda 0]

Update on my weekly weigh in: down 1 lb. I looked at my chart....and this month...I have lost a grand total of 2 lbs. WTF?! Will I EVER reach that 50 lb milestone?!!

Yeah Yeah....Oct is another month. (she says thru gritted teeth).

:guess

[neenagh 0]

MOVE TURTLE MOVE!!!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[Wheezy 0]

Love the jokes. Speaking of hair.....

We have a barber's kit so a few month ago, my husband asked me to give him a hair cut. It's really simple, I put on a number 4 on the shaver and shave his head. He ends up with about 1/4 inch of hair. We had just had a nice supper and a few glasses of wine. I put on the number 4 and away I go. I take off the number 4 and do the trimming around his neck and his ears. Then I lost my head!!!! I decide to do his head again forgetting that I took off the number 4. I immediately gasped, he had one streak across his head completely bald, shaved to the skin!!!! I panicked and said, I can fix it, I put on the #3 and tried again, not good, put on the number 2, and tried again. My husband said, "That looks OK, I'll go take a shower and it will be fine". After his shower, every time I walked by him there was this bald streak across his head staring at me. I ended up shaving his head completely bald to hide my mistake. I literally cried, I was so upset for him. He just said "Get over it, it's only hair". For about a month every time I would catch him taking a look in the mirror, I would hear him say "Holy cow I really have no hair!!" Thank the Lord that men aren't obsessed about their hair like we are.

Moral of the story-Pay attention

-Don't have wine before giving someone a hair cut

[Yoda 0]

That brought back a memory Wheezy....about 2 yrs ago...I pretty much did the same thing. It looked so easy when my hairdresser did it; I though....maaaan, how hard can it be? Plus we figured we would save 10 bucks for his cut (which he only got every 8 weeks or so) (WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!). So, we bought the kit (which would have paid for his haircuts for a year anyways!)....I tried it once...DISASTER. Needless to say the kit now sits in the basement somewhere not being used...and we happily go to my hairdresser. I was too appalled to tell her what we had done. And....who was I trying to save 10 bucks???? He's worth it!!!

LOL

[CLOE 0]

Yoda, cut your toenails, remove nail polish, trim fingernails, get a haircut, tweeze your eyebrows, shave your legs, and hold your breath. I bet you'll hit the "50" mark then..... . Ha, Ha, really, I'm not insinuating that you have gorilla legs:heh: .

[green 6]

When a man has his hair shaved so close to his head that he looks like he is totally bald...well, Green thinks that that is a very sexy look.