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Everyone that I tell about having surgery seems to think I can lose weight on my own without "doing something so drastic". I have honestly tried before. I have lost before,but I always gain it back plus some. Did your family and friends support you in your journey to have the sleeve?

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I can relate to that sad to say. My most understanding friends have had weight issues too. I asked others to please consider praying for me since I feel I need the tool/help. Luckily we have this forum.

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Everyone that I tell about having surgery seems to think I can lose weight on my own without "doing something so drastic". I have honestly tried before. I have lost before,but I always gain it back plus some. Did your family and friends support you in your journey to have the sleeve?

I am an African- American female and this type of surgery is not supported. I have been raised love yourslef and other no matter the size, shape , or color. I have lived by this advice my whole life. I agree with it whole-heartedly. However, I would love myself more if I were more active and had less pain. My advice, I only told my husband. That's it! I go online for support, and read information. I can't live for them. I live for God and I have to be alive to do his will. I hope that helps.

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I am in my fifties. My family is very supportive because I think they were afraid I would die at 58 of a heart attack as my father did. I have been very lucky.

Don't let them wear you down. You need to do what is right for you. Some of us cannot keep the weight off without assistance.

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I've stopped telling people! This is about me; this is for me and my health. I have a co-worker that said she'll never go out to lunch w me again cuz she didnt want to feel bad. I find that alot pf ppl are negative cuz they are jealous. They dont have the spine to do what we're doing. Just my opinion; I could be wrong..... :-)

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Thanks. I am glad that we do have this forum so that we can find like minded people who really understand what we are going through

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I don't know if jealous is the word. Misinformed seems better. It is a nasty stigma place on WLS. The point is you are doing this for you which means you don't need their approval. Keep that in mind on your journey to better health. You don't need others approval to want to be healthier.

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I guess my answer to the negative people would be that this is your decision. The alternatives to not having this done is even more scary.

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Hi there, first of all there are a lot of "I call them HATERS" mainly because WLS is misunderstood and people think it is the easy way out. Join the club, I would say that 99% of us who decided to have drastic surgery tried all the ways to lose WT. Many of us lost and gained the same 50-100 lbs over and over again. I recommend for you to be careful who you tell, because people will have a lot to say, some will be supportive and some will not. Some people like to tell the world about their procedure in order to help others, reduce the stigma, etc. However, me personally I only told a few close people, this is my medical procedure and my business and I will tell you if I know you on a personal level. Good luck to you.

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My Closest family is aware of my decision and is supportive. My Brother questions if this decision is too "drastic". One of my closest friends think all I need is a good trainer..... BUT she is only 125lbs!! lol. We tend to worry about what others think of, or if they approve of this decision. a the end of the day its YOUR decision. You feel negativity from others, but dont mention it to them again.... and Keep going!!

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I do the same. I come from a country town with country mind people. We black folks Celebrate everything with food..we are suppose to say we are thick..I'm bigger now then i was giving birth to my last son. I wanna feel and long the way i know i can..i say I'm not just doing this for me it is my family,friends,2 sons 9&6,most of all to be around where they don't have to take care of me over weight with Sugar as we say ..lol I'm so happy to have this site.

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Hang in there girl! Everyone is telling me the same thing but I'm doin ME!! They don't know what we go through on a daily basis bein overweight. They are clueless to know how it feels inside to wanna be thin. Stay focused an always know that no one will ever love U more than U!! My surgery is in a week, sooo excited!

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I'll tell anyone and I really don't care if they don't like it or agree with my decision. I cant live a lie or keep secrets, and why should I? I'm saving my own life, it's as simple as that. I've certainly tried to loose the weight without the surgery but I haven't been able to keep it off.

Plus, I've thought about having WLS many times but never really believed I could or would. And then one day a coworker told me he had bypass years ago, out of the blue. He was very matter of fact about the whole thing. I respected his openness. It inspired me to believe I could do it as well. I hope someday I might inspire someone the same way.

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You may feel like you have no support now but once people see you change you will have them asking you questions and checking into it too. I use to care about what everyone thinks but I now realize I was treated worse when I was a fat person then a person who had WLS. Hold your head high and keep moving forward, you will not regret it.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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