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Are There Any Single Sleevers Out There..

kwyant1976

By kwyant1976, in Singles Forum

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Geeewhy    30

Geeewhy
Posted

Newly single, sleeved for 21 months. I was with my ex for over 2 years, so this will be my first time dating at a healthy weight and my first time dating as a sleever. I always had a pretty face, but after losing the weight, I get checked out constantly. I think it will be interesting to see how things play out now that I'm more conventionally attractive.

For those of you who've been sleeved for a while and don't necessarily eat so little that it's immediately obvious....how long do you wait to disclose that you've had WLS? I know a LOT of people are very ignorant about WLS, so I wouldn't be breaking it out on the first date, but how long is long enough?

I wouldn't think there need to be a set amount of time... just let it happen organically. I personally don't bring it up, but if I'm asked why I don't eat much I will tell them. Over the last few months that's only happened once.

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strawberrysoul    32

strawberrysoul
Posted

Hi all .. One thing I find weird is that some people seem to think that weight loss will solve relationship issues.. Or help you find someone..maybe it's just me but..I don't to be with someone who only wants to be with me cause I'm thin or look a certain way. I'm not doing this to find love or to lure a man. I'm doing this for me for my health and my own wants..not the wants of some hypothetical dude who wouldn't have looked at me twice pre op.

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strawberrysoul    32

strawberrysoul
Posted

Hi all .. One thing I find weird is that some people seem to think that weight loss will solve relationship issues.. Or help you find someone..maybe it's just me but..I don't to be with someone who only wants to be with me cause I'm thin or look a certain way. I'm not doing this to find love or to lure a man. I'm doing this for me for my health and my own wants..not the wants of some hypothetical dude who wouldn't have looked at me twice pre op.

By the way before I ruffle some feathers on here..I'm not referring to anyone in here..I'm referring to some friends...more like acquaintances .. Cause it they were friends they wouldn't be thinking like that..

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Anakin Jay    39

Anakin Jay
Posted

I don't to be with someone who only wants to be with me cause I'm thin or look a certain way. I'm not doing this to find love or to lure a man. I'm doing this for me for my health and my own wants..not the wants of some hypothetical dude who wouldn't have looked at me twice pre op.

ehh... that seems like a very defensive attitude.

Lets be honest here... if you had your choice between an attractive person, and a non-attractive person (with everything else being the same) what would you pick?

Do you always 100% completely ignore the looks of people and are PURELY attracted to people's personalities?

I'm not saying it's a good thing... I wish it was different, but lets be real here... 95% of people out there are not going to take the time to get to know romantically you unless they're attracted to you initially.

If you want to just mark 95% of the available singles off your list like that... then more power to you I suppose, but me personally, I'm excited about the opportunities I'm going to have to show more people how awesome I am on the inside... once my outside helps get my foot in the door, instead of causing the door to get slammed in my face :P

weight_no_longer, JeanZ_RN, NewBeginning2014 and 2 others reacted to this

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strawberrysoul    32

strawberrysoul
Posted

I guess I'm more interested in expanding my options in clothes than in men.. I can't wait to go shopping in my new body.. .that's what really get me excited in this journey I'm about to go on..

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Inline6E46    31

Inline6E46
Posted

I guess I'm more interested in expanding my options in clothes.. I can't wait to go shopping in my new body.. .that's what really get me excited in this journey I'm about to go on..

This.

As a guy, I feel the exact same way. I want to wear those frame hugging suits, regular sized shoes, and be able to buy off the rack at any department store and have it look great.

I mean, I'm still interested in women (have a date this coming Friday) but showing up in a frumpy suit that's not fitted vs a suit that is? No brainer.

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minniefaises    8

minniefaises
Posted

HELLO, SINGLE SLEEVER (5-1-12) FROM TN. HERE. I'M JUST LOOKING TO ENJOY SOME GOOD CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE I HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH.

SMITTY

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D1NOnlySexyLady    70

D1NOnlySexyLady
Posted

Anybody here from New York

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donniej    35

donniej
Posted

Single sleever here in Lousiana. Been that way for a while but kinda looking forward to changing that! For most of my life I didnt like me, so I didnt expect anyone else to. Thats beggining to change.

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Geeewhy    30

Geeewhy
Posted

Hi all .. One thing I find weird is that some people seem to think that weight loss will solve relationship issues.. Or help you find someone..maybe it's just me but..I don't to be with someone who only wants to be with me cause I'm thin or look a certain way. I'm not doing this to find love or to lure a man. I'm doing this for me for my health and my own wants..not the wants of some hypothetical dude who wouldn't have looked at me twice pre op.

At one point I had the same mindset. But when I step back and take a look objectively, it's not just about what a person looks like, it's what they can do. I, for example, had pretty much turned myself into a prisoner. At 465 lbs I couldn't go to concerts because I didn't fit the seats. I couldn't go to sporting events because it was too painful to walk from the parking lot to the venue, and if I did make it, I was sweating so that I would soak through anything I wore. Now that I am slimmer and on my way to being fit, I do not want to spend my time with someone that was in the same place I was... I would much rather focus on someone that can help me continue my journey to being physically fit and living my life the way I should have been for the last 20 years. Maybe it's selfish, but I know where I was and what I couldn't do... Now that I can, I want someone that can live life with me.

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Anakin Jay    39

Anakin Jay
Posted

At one point I had the same mindset. But when I step back and take a look objectively, it's not just about what a person looks like, it's what they can do. I, for example, had pretty much turned myself into a prisoner. At 465 lbs I couldn't go to concerts because I didn't fit the seats. I couldn't go to sporting events because it was too painful to walk from the parking lot to the venue, and if I did make it, I was sweating so that I would soak through anything I wore. Now that I am slimmer and on my way to being fit, I do not want to spend my time with someone that was in the same place I was... I would much rather focus on someone that can help me continue my journey to being physically fit and living my life the way I should have been for the last 20 years. Maybe it's selfish, but I know where I was and what I couldn't do... Now that I can, I want someone that can live life with me.

This is pretty much exactly how I feel... When I'm skinny, I'm looking forward to riding roller coasters again, and going kayaking... walks in the park, going to the beach... going to Water parks... HAVING FUN.

Why should I expect someone to overlook giving up everything that skinny people can do for fun just because I have an awesome personality?

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Geeewhy    30

Geeewhy
Posted

Exactly. My lament used to be "I wish people would focus on my dolphin-like personality rather than my whale-like physique".

Lilee84, jenngottaloseit, weight_no_longer and 1 other reacted to this

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Aussiegirl    580

Aussiegirl
Posted

hey aussiegirl, another aussie here, im due to have surgery in August, scared and excited all at once, how much have u lost so far? if u dont mind me asking? i have about 40 kg to lose :)

Hey weight-no-longer, good to see another aussie in here :)

I understand the scared and excited feeling, i was there last year. I was sleeved last September and since then have lost 57kgs (even to me that sounds like alot) but still have another 17 I want to loose.

I have no problem answering any questions or talking about it. I am very open about what I am doing it and why.

I am still single, which I definitely think has helped me. Tho at the moment I really do feel anything but single, so many things going on, social activities etc. I go out now, I am not afraid to be seen in places, or by people.

Drop me a message I am happy to answer any questions.

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ccmay3surgery    4

ccmay3surgery
Posted

Single and excited about it. for the past 5 years ive been in a dumb relationship that I should of left him a long time ago. During mu six month insurance approval he did really care and didnt express his feelings. All he would say, I sure did enjoy those hamburgers and going to eat. I got my sleeve done may 3, he came to visit me at the hospital. It felt nice, but he never tried to visit me the next 2 days, he just gave Me bad excuses. So on 4 day, he texted to say if he can visit. At this point, my mind has been set, he wasnt there when ive needed him on the other occasions, and for him not to be there at the hospital proved to me hes not the person I want to invest time with. Hes hurt me in different ways, but this just opened my eyes. I Feel happy to be single and concentrate on this post surgery process.

weight_no_longer and PEvette reacted to this

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