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Are There Any Single Sleevers Out There..



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Newly single, sleeved for 21 months. I was with my ex for over 2 years, so this will be my first time dating at a healthy weight and my first time dating as a sleever. I always had a pretty face, but after losing the weight, I get checked out constantly. I think it will be interesting to see how things play out now that I'm more conventionally attractive.

For those of you who've been sleeved for a while and don't necessarily eat so little that it's immediately obvious....how long do you wait to disclose that you've had WLS? I know a LOT of people are very ignorant about WLS, so I wouldn't be breaking it out on the first date, but how long is long enough?

I wouldn't think there need to be a set amount of time... just let it happen organically. I personally don't bring it up, but if I'm asked why I don't eat much I will tell them. Over the last few months that's only happened once.

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Hi all .. One thing I find weird is that some people seem to think that weight loss will solve relationship issues.. Or help you find someone..maybe it's just me but..I don't to be with someone who only wants to be with me cause I'm thin or look a certain way. I'm not doing this to find love or to lure a man. I'm doing this for me for my health and my own wants..not the wants of some hypothetical dude who wouldn't have looked at me twice pre op.

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Hi all .. One thing I find weird is that some people seem to think that weight loss will solve relationship issues.. Or help you find someone..maybe it's just me but..I don't to be with someone who only wants to be with me cause I'm thin or look a certain way. I'm not doing this to find love or to lure a man. I'm doing this for me for my health and my own wants..not the wants of some hypothetical dude who wouldn't have looked at me twice pre op.

By the way before I ruffle some feathers on here..I'm not referring to anyone in here..I'm referring to some friends...more like acquaintances .. Cause it they were friends they wouldn't be thinking like that..

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I don't to be with someone who only wants to be with me cause I'm thin or look a certain way. I'm not doing this to find love or to lure a man. I'm doing this for me for my health and my own wants..not the wants of some hypothetical dude who wouldn't have looked at me twice pre op.

ehh... that seems like a very defensive attitude.

Lets be honest here... if you had your choice between an attractive person, and a non-attractive person (with everything else being the same) what would you pick?

Do you always 100% completely ignore the looks of people and are PURELY attracted to people's personalities?

I'm not saying it's a good thing... I wish it was different, but lets be real here... 95% of people out there are not going to take the time to get to know romantically you unless they're attracted to you initially.

If you want to just mark 95% of the available singles off your list like that... then more power to you I suppose, but me personally, I'm excited about the opportunities I'm going to have to show more people how awesome I am on the inside... once my outside helps get my foot in the door, instead of causing the door to get slammed in my face :P

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I guess I'm more interested in expanding my options in clothes than in men.. I can't wait to go shopping in my new body.. .that's what really get me excited in this journey I'm about to go on..

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I guess I'm more interested in expanding my options in clothes.. I can't wait to go shopping in my new body.. .that's what really get me excited in this journey I'm about to go on..

This.

As a guy, I feel the exact same way. I want to wear those frame hugging suits, regular sized shoes, and be able to buy off the rack at any department store and have it look great.

I mean, I'm still interested in women (have a date this coming Friday) but showing up in a frumpy suit that's not fitted vs a suit that is? No brainer.

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HELLO, SINGLE SLEEVER (5-1-12) FROM TN. HERE. I'M JUST LOOKING TO ENJOY SOME GOOD CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE I HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH.

SMITTY

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Anybody here from New York

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Single sleever here in Lousiana. Been that way for a while but kinda looking forward to changing that! For most of my life I didnt like me, so I didnt expect anyone else to. Thats beggining to change.

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Hi all .. One thing I find weird is that some people seem to think that weight loss will solve relationship issues.. Or help you find someone..maybe it's just me but..I don't to be with someone who only wants to be with me cause I'm thin or look a certain way. I'm not doing this to find love or to lure a man. I'm doing this for me for my health and my own wants..not the wants of some hypothetical dude who wouldn't have looked at me twice pre op.

At one point I had the same mindset. But when I step back and take a look objectively, it's not just about what a person looks like, it's what they can do. I, for example, had pretty much turned myself into a prisoner. At 465 lbs I couldn't go to concerts because I didn't fit the seats. I couldn't go to sporting events because it was too painful to walk from the parking lot to the venue, and if I did make it, I was sweating so that I would soak through anything I wore. Now that I am slimmer and on my way to being fit, I do not want to spend my time with someone that was in the same place I was... I would much rather focus on someone that can help me continue my journey to being physically fit and living my life the way I should have been for the last 20 years. Maybe it's selfish, but I know where I was and what I couldn't do... Now that I can, I want someone that can live life with me.

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At one point I had the same mindset. But when I step back and take a look objectively, it's not just about what a person looks like, it's what they can do. I, for example, had pretty much turned myself into a prisoner. At 465 lbs I couldn't go to concerts because I didn't fit the seats. I couldn't go to sporting events because it was too painful to walk from the parking lot to the venue, and if I did make it, I was sweating so that I would soak through anything I wore. Now that I am slimmer and on my way to being fit, I do not want to spend my time with someone that was in the same place I was... I would much rather focus on someone that can help me continue my journey to being physically fit and living my life the way I should have been for the last 20 years. Maybe it's selfish, but I know where I was and what I couldn't do... Now that I can, I want someone that can live life with me.

This is pretty much exactly how I feel... When I'm skinny, I'm looking forward to riding roller coasters again, and going kayaking... walks in the park, going to the beach... going to Water parks... HAVING FUN.

Why should I expect someone to overlook giving up everything that skinny people can do for fun just because I have an awesome personality?

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Exactly. My lament used to be "I wish people would focus on my dolphin-like personality rather than my whale-like physique".

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hey aussiegirl, another aussie here, im due to have surgery in August, scared and excited all at once, how much have u lost so far? if u dont mind me asking? i have about 40 kg to lose :)

Hey weight-no-longer, good to see another aussie in here :)

I understand the scared and excited feeling, i was there last year. I was sleeved last September and since then have lost 57kgs (even to me that sounds like alot) but still have another 17 I want to loose.

I have no problem answering any questions or talking about it. I am very open about what I am doing it and why.

I am still single, which I definitely think has helped me. Tho at the moment I really do feel anything but single, so many things going on, social activities etc. I go out now, I am not afraid to be seen in places, or by people.

Drop me a message I am happy to answer any questions.

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Single and excited about it. for the past 5 years ive been in a dumb relationship that I should of left him a long time ago. During mu six month insurance approval he did really care and didnt express his feelings. All he would say, I sure did enjoy those hamburgers and going to eat. I got my sleeve done may 3, he came to visit me at the hospital. It felt nice, but he never tried to visit me the next 2 days, he just gave Me bad excuses. So on 4 day, he texted to say if he can visit. At this point, my mind has been set, he wasnt there when ive needed him on the other occasions, and for him not to be there at the hospital proved to me hes not the person I want to invest time with. Hes hurt me in different ways, but this just opened my eyes. I Feel happy to be single and concentrate on this post surgery process.

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      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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