This is a letter that I wrote from my overweight self to my skinny self. I thought that since we're all on this crazy roller coaster together, you guys may get something from it so I decided to share.

Dear Skinny Bedhead,

I don't know what we look like, what we're up to, or how long the winding road was for us, but I do know this- there are a few things that I want to say to you.

It seems like we've been fat since the Dawn of Time... or at least since the age when body images start to really matter. Through all of these years there have been so many excuses: Injuries. Surgeries. Pregnancies. Illnesses. No more excuses. Excuses are easy to make. Changes aren't. But it doesn't matter anymore because the biggest change (surgery) has been made, and since I'm writing to my skinny self- I have to assume that we finally stopped using excuses as protection.

Remember all of those nights sitting on the couch in front of the TV eating ice cream and Jax? Remember spending hours on Pinterest pinning outfits that we loved and wanted to wear someday but never really thought we'd be able to? Don't ever let us go back to that again. Don't dream about a life instead of having a life. I need you to be stronger than me, even though we're one in the same. I couldn't do it, no matter how many times I lost the weight, so I need you to be strong and never turn back like I did all of those times.

Don't get discouraged by stretchmarks, sagging skin, or hair loss. Right now none of that matters. What matters is getting healthy and being able to to comfortably get on the floor to play, to go on rides at the fair, to ride the stupid warhorse at the Ren Fest. The kids. The kids are what matter. Being healthy and full of energy & life for those amazing little people who deserve so much more than a fat, lazy, tired, depressed mother. I'm ok with saggy skin and hair loss if I get all of those wonderful moments instead.

Take pictures. Take a LOT of pictures, every chance you get. For years we've hidden behind the camera and there are thousands of pictures of daddy with the kids, but almost none of mommy with the kids. Change that. Smile huge, loving smiles.

Teach the kids (our daughter especially) to love their bodies and treat them right. Make sure not to ever give them self esteem issues, but at the same time be sure to teach the absolute importance of living healthy. Do not ever let them become what we became. Be their support, their guidance, their teacher, and their friend. Don't be the voice of their self-hate.

Never forget that we were fat. Don't ever look at an overweight person and judge them. Don't ever be cruel or snide or hateful. Not everyone can or will make this journey for a myriad of reasons that are nobody's business but their own. Always remember how much it hurt. Always remember the rude glances, the harsh words, and the utter desolation of obesity. Don't take this amazing gift for granted. It so easily could have not happened for us. We're lucky. Most people aren't so lucky. Be a candle in the darkness for those people. Uplift them, support them, love them unconditionally.

But most of all, uplift, support, and love US unconditionally. Don't hate me for what I did to our body. Don't look back with bitterness or scorn. We learned so much through our battle with obesity that even though I hate the toll it has taken, I'm glad it's a burden we had to carry. Look forward toward all of the beauty, wonder, and awe this life has to offer. Grab it by the reigns and don't let go. Live life, don't let it slip away.

Be the mother, daughter, sister, and wife we were always destined to be- Because it's better late than never!

With so much hope,

Your Fat Self

This was beautiful u got me emotional n everything u said is true im glad u wrote this

Oh my goodness, you all and these darn letters making me cry. It's like you reached in my head! Beautiful, just beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

Bed head- I missed this the first time so I am glad you bumped it. Beautifully crafted letter!

Best to you both

Sandy

OMG....love this! Thank you so much for sharing!

Sent from my iPad using VST

How did you get into my head and get my thoughts out without me knowing?! That was amazing and so very much how I feel and my reasons for going through this journey. Thank you for sharing this, making me cry and also just echoing exactly how I feel, reminding me that there are so many here that know exactly what I feel! Bless us all <3

I'm so glad you guys like it! I know that if anyone on this planet can understand exactly how I feel and exactly what I wrote- it's my fellow sleevers!

Beautifully written! Now that I'm closer to being at goal than any previous diet I've ever been on, I find that I am left with the skin, etc. but I *knew* that going in, I wasn't coming out with a super-model body. Some days are worse than others, but mostly I'm grateful to be here. And you are right because I never want to forget what it's like to live life in a larger body, I never want to go back!

I have forgotten what it was like to "live" morbidly obese, and that's not good. This weekend I went to a prom-themed charity event and wore a miniscule dress the size of a postage-stamp and teetery platform pumps with what had to be at least 6 inch heels. And yet, I look in the mirror and don't properly see any difference between now and then. That's effed up! I was a 26/28 at my heaviest, why can't I remember the exhaustion, the humiliation, the constant sorrow? Maybe I am self-protecting because it is difficult to face just how horrible it was, after all, hiding and denial were how I survived for so long in that prison of my body. hmm. I don't want to go back, I want to authentically feel proud of this accomplishment, yet I don't feel yet that I've done anything to warrant such pride.

That is awesome!