Hi everyone. I'm new to the board. I finally got approved by my insurance and am just awaiting my date (surgeon is backed up about 4 mos.). Anyway, everyone around me keeps telling me there is no way I need to have this surgery. "You're not big enough" they keep saying. To put it in perspective, I'm 5'8 1/2 and weigh 245 lbs. After hearing this so many times, I'm starting to second guess my decision. I'm starting to get scared that I may lose too much weight. I'd just like to hear anyones thoughts who may have gone thru this. Thanks.

Let's put this into perspective, I'm 5'4", 275lbs, with a BMI of 47. Ever since I told my co-workers and friends, the first thing they say is "Your not that big......other people are bigger than you. That surgery is for them." Uh....I'm dang near 300lbs and my feet and back hurt.......I'M GETTIN THE DARN SURGERY!!! My decision is NOT to suit them or ease their concerns, it is for me, my health, and my happiness.

Do what's best for YOU! Love yourself, be confident in yourself, and eventually they will come around.

Hey Chell, welcome to the board. I am 5'7 and started at 239 and everyone said the same thing to me when I got sleeved. Even the nurse taking me back for pre-op told me that I didn't look big enough to be having surgery. I have lost almost 70 lbs and the comments from these same people are astonishing. They say "wow you look so great, I almost didn't recognize you." "You look amazing!" "you look soooo much younger!" so apparently I did look like I needed the surgery they just didn't know it. LOL It is perfectly normal to have some doubts, this is a major surgery and will affect the rest of your life, but don't let other people's comments sway you if you really feel like this is what you need. I am so happy I did this for myself and my loved ones. I am happier than I have been in years and it's because I was so miserable with myself. Good luck with what ever you decide.

Welcome! The main reason I told no one I was having surgery was because I did not want to hear that statement " You don't need this surgery"

Remember you are doing this for yourself and no one else the insurance company would not have approved you if there was not need. Tell everyone, thanks for your concern, but your not in my shoes then smile and walk away.

Take Care

I know what you mean. I'm not getting those comments from other people but I remember being shocked that was heavy enough to qualify for WLS. I didn't realize that I was THAT overweight. I've been heavy since puberty so it's been such a gradual slide that I refused to notice. I have a really good attitude about myself and I'm a big believer in "fat acceptance", so much so that I wonder if I might have been deluding myself for a decade or two.

That being said, I'm hearing about people who weigh much less than I do (I started at 270), like people in the low 220s or so, getting approved for surgery. I guess as a society we've drifted on what is considered "normal" weight.

Just because it's "normal" doesn't mean it's "healthy" or "optimal".

I would tell them that your are big enough to have the surgery otherwise your insurance company wouldn't have approved you to have the surgery on their dime. Also tell them you are having the surgery because you don't want to get to the point where you really look like you need to have it done.

I wish I had known about this surgery before I reached nearly 300 pounds! Think of all the health issues and heartache it would have saved me! Goodness, people who have never been in the shoes of an obese person don't understand how we suffer and what it is to feel so out of control of one's self.

i'm totally having this surgery as a 'preventative' measure. i look at my mom and my grandmother (who died of obesity related problems) and even though i haven't reached their weight yet, there is NO WAY i'm going to! both had/have problems that ruined their quality of life, type II diabetes, high blood pressure, major wear and tear on joints, you name it. i'm only 217lb as of today but i know 10 years down the road i'll be a lot more and kicking myself for not doing this sooner. for some reason in our family the women start out thin and end up having severe weight problems after having children.

so anyways, yeah the few people i've told have said 'you don't need to lose weight'. well i i think they just tell me that because they are trying to 'compliment me' and make me feel better for myself in some sort of twisted support way. you know what i mean? people seem to think that WLS is a vanity thing. i wouldn't cut 85% of my stomach out for vanity only - and neither would the doctors. so if you are approved YOU NEED IT.

I told one of my co-workers this morning.. and he was shocked!! LOL... I was like, it's either VSG or eventually die!!!

Some people are well meaning, others are just ignorant...

This is my first time to post here; thanks everyone for being so open and helping me sort out my own feelings about what I am about to do. I was working out with a personal trainer and he was angry I had made the decision. After losing and regaining 20 pounds three times this year I'd just had enough and knew I needed to do something different. He started to say that losing weight had to do with my character and that I needed to lose it his way to build my character. Well, then it was time for me to get angry. I said after 15 years of fighting it, it had nothing to do with my character; my character was just fine. And I fired him. I said if you aren't on my team then you are off it. Goodbye. I'm being sleeved on 12/15. Wish me luck. My goal is to lose 90 lbs.

Way to go Lovelesson! I would have fired his butt too!

This is my first time to post here; thanks everyone for being so open and helping me sort out my own feelings about what I am about to do. I was working out with a personal trainer and he was angry I had made the decision. After losing and regaining 20 pounds three times this year I'd just had enough and knew I needed to do something different. He started to say that losing weight had to do with my character and that I needed to lose it his way to build my character. Well, then it was time for me to get angry. I said after 15 years of fighting it, it had nothing to do with my character; my character was just fine. And I fired him. I said if you aren't on my team then you are off it. Goodbye. I'm being sleeved on 12/15. Wish me luck. My goal is to lose 90 lbs.

I too have a trainer, she was awesome about it, i was scared to death and i didnt tell her till i was 4 months in to my 6 months requirement. She even knew my surgeon personally (small town WV LOL) and is talking to him about what i will need to eat, when i will be able to exercise, what kind of exercises i will need to do. Then she shocked the crap outta me and told me about surgeries that she herself had done done.

the surgery is for oyu, ignore the haters!

This is my first time to post here; thanks everyone for being so open and helping me sort out my own feelings about what I am about to do. I was working out with a personal trainer and he was angry I had made the decision. After losing and regaining 20 pounds three times this year I'd just had enough and knew I needed to do something different. He started to say that losing weight had to do with my character and that I needed to lose it his way to build my character. Well, then it was time for me to get angry. I said after 15 years of fighting it, it had nothing to do with my character; my character was just fine. And I fired him. I said if you aren't on my team then you are off it. Goodbye. I'm being sleeved on 12/15. Wish me luck. My goal is to lose 90 lbs.

Don't forget!!! Gluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins! This teaching has really put overweight issues into the character catagory... forget science! You would think a trainer would at least be up to date with the science of his field. You did the right thing. If Drs and insurance approve your surgery, then there MUST be some good reason for it....

I wasn't "approved" nor do I have insurance; long story but insurance was going to cost $1500 a month. I can't get cheaper insurance because of my weight, currently at about 230 pounds. My normal weight up until about 15 years ago was 140 lbs. I hurt all over, was diagnosed with RA, then they backed away from that to something else - all I know is being overweight sucks and I'm tired of it. I'm ready to change. I little apprehensive, but ready to change.

If you weren't approved, are you doing self-pay out of the country? That's the route I've decided to go, and I'm smaller than you. I'm 5'8" and 197 pounds, which means my bmi is 30. No insurance company would approve me, but my insurance doesn't pay for ANY WLS surgery anyway, regardless of person's bmi. But I know better than anyone how hard I've struggled and know if I don't do this NOW, I will just be 20 or 30 pounds heavier next year and the year after that and so on.

I have tried to lose weight and succeeded, but I can't ever maintain it longer than a year. After losing and gaining the same 50 pounds three times in the past 10 years I know I need something more permanent, a tool that will help me succeed.

I've done a lot of research and while I still have doubts and still get scared, I have a date to be sleeved in Mexico in early January. Only my husband knows. I'm sure I'd get a lot of comments about not being big enough. But I'm in size 16s now, and that's that; I won't get bigger. I already have high blood pressure and elevated LDL cholesterol, and my back and knees hurt. I feel like crap and am ashamed of my weight and am tired of using food like a crutch.

This is not the "easy" way out by any means; it's a major decision, and there will always be naysayers, because unless you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes it's hard to understand.

But I'm tired of yo-yo-ing. If your appendix was inflamed, you'd get it taken out; well, this is a surgery like any other. Yeah, it has risks. But it has a LOT of benefits. People are scared of stuff they don't understand; most have not done research and have only heard the rumors and (possibly false) horror stories. Plus, often others are jealous and don't want you to succeed.

Good luck to you both! If I could have gotten it when I weighed less, I would have.