Ok, so I am slowly losing the plot here... I am 10lbs (bouncing up and down the same 3lbs for a month) to my surgeon's goal and about 28lb from my personal 'OMG I can't believe it' goal - which is actually a dream rather than a reality as I haven't weighed under 10 stone - 140lbs - since I was about 16! So, I won't be too upset if I don't get there... however, my surgeon's goal is really important to me.

Anyway, to stick with the marathon analogy, I am getting tired... I've hit the 'wall'! My motivation has started to wain. Through circumstances that are out of my control, I have been unable to exercise more than once or twice a week... I was exercising 4 times min a few months ago! I am constantly tired, for several reasons and just completely fed up with my obession to lose weight.

I am good in the food dept 90% of the time, I allow myself a treat on the weekend but that isn't every weekend. I stick to the Protein first and no drinking for 20 mins rules all the time and although I do eat carbs, they are what I consider good carbs. I still don't eat Pasta, noodles or rice. I only eat potatoes now and again, same with wholemeal bread. I am happy with my food choices, my cals range between 900 - 1200 on any given day; I do track them from time to time to make sure that I am still on track and this helps me.

I still only eat three times a day, as per surgeon's instructions, but now and again I have a good snack.

My menopause symptoms are really taking their toll on me too... the hot sweats are absolutely debilitating, leaving me hot and flustered, especially in school! I am drained after them, tired and sleepy and my moods are getting really cranky. Probably a mix of hormones and frustration. The night sweats are awful, waking me up throughout the night, and then I am tired getting up, leaving me, once again cranky. And the cycle continues...

I have come to terms with being a slow loser... and I was praying that I would reach my goal. I even joined the Christmas Challenge thread, but since I haven't lost a pound, I am afraid to look in on it... doesn't that sound like I am being a spoilt brat, I don't mean to be!

This goal thing is just really hard at the moment... not being there is getting to me, especially when people around me are making comments like: 'Oh, you mustn't lose any more weight, you'll look ill' etc... bla, bla, bla!

I know I am getting a little smaller, as I have, finally, bought and worn a size Uk14 trousers (not quite for the jeans dept yet!) and that really made me feel good... but that seems to have been engulfed by all the other 'stuff' going on!

My hubby agrees with me, that I DO have more weight to lose, that I should continue the race... and I love him for his honesty.

So, how do I get my mojo back... how do I get my motivation back and how do I get that bloody scale to move????

Please, my sleeve friends, throw me a line...

Hugs from across the pond x

Coops - I totally understand and relate to where you are. First of all, congratulations on all the weight you have lost, and on still being dam* near perfect in your eating control this far into your journey.

On the menopause front - how about biting the bullet and getting on some hormone therapy? If your doctor isn't a fan of it, go to an alternative source (health food store, alternative practitioner) and ask him or her for some help. I have been where you are and it is H E double L on earth to put up with. I am on estrogen and I will be on it (hopefully) until I am really old. This is the 21st century and we women should not have to put up with menopause without drugs and or some form of help. I think if that awful stuff would lessen, everything else would get easier.

Have you thought about giving yourself an official vacation from trying to lose weight. Maybe for two weeks, you just do what you know to do that will keep you at the same spot, and focus on doing things you enjoy? Enjoyment doesn't have to be centered on food. Put the scale in the cupboard for two weeks and declare it is NATIONAL BE NICE TO COOPS fortnight. Read books you like, listen to music you like, get and give luxurious backrubs to / from your husband, take decadent bathrubs, go for long drives / walks in the country - whatever is your pleasure. You have been fighting the good fight for a while now and deserve a break. For your "vacation" your goal is to just maintain - not lose.

After you have given yourself a break and also maybe gotten some help with the menopause, I bet you will be ready to pick up the battle-gear and get back in the fight.

I hope this helps. DON"T BE DOWN ON YOURSELF - you have done outstanding. I know you have been an inspiration to me.

Sharon

obviously I have backrubs on my brain right now - I meant to suggest taking decadent bubble baths.

Sharon

I am so inspired that in a little over a year you weigh 75# less than you did. That is fabulous! Even if you aren't feeling great, at least you are cetainly healthier than you were before.

One thought... have you had your thyroid checked recently?

I get the hot flashes as well, so I can really feel your pain there. My husband calls them mini private vacations to a tropical island- they only come in handy in our cold New England winters, otherwise- BAH!

Hey, thanks for the quick replies...

I have been to my doc at the beginning of the year and had a load of bloods done... oestrogen levels were abnormal and I was referred to the menopause clinic.. The doc told me there that I was peri menopausal as I am still getting periods, even if they have a mind of their own and no real pattern; the cycle can be anything from two weeks apart to 4mths apart... grrrr!

Anyway, the doc told me to lose more weight, as that will help (?) and put me on HRT Patches. i wore them for two mths but I had severe migraines with them and I was taken off them!

I was thinking about going back to the docs... getting more bloods? I seriously, can't go on like this!!

Sharon, I will seriously think about that vacation... unlike others, I don't dread maintaince as I only lose a few pounds every other month, I have a feeling it will be fairly easy for me... I certainly don't worry about being unable to stop the weight falling off... it has never fallen off me...lol! Perhaps some time out will help??

I will have a little think about that one... thank you

coops... my dear friend. It's there, you just need to know where to look.

Here's my opinion, now it could be or could not be the case. Regardless here is what I think: I think you are placing WAY too much emphasis on what could or should be and not enough on the here and now.

What I mean is, live for today. Don't fight against tomorrow or the future. I cannot tell you how much RELIEF I felt when I finally gave up on all the time related challenges and weight loss goals. I know that is ultimately what you are going after... but maybe changing the type of goals you are setting for yourself will make the world of difference.

Maybe instead of weight goals, make inch goals or clothing goals.

Instead of challenges for Christmas, maybe make workout goals.

Instead of focusing so much on the goals so far ahead, instead focus on the one right in front of you.

I absolutely could not in good sanity think so far ahead. I'm pretty sure most here already know what I think about BMI's. But guess what? I'm but a hop skip and a jump away from breaking below 25. So I will be considered normal. I never thought so far ahead that I really let that set into my mind and let that bring me down. I can't. I had WAYYYYY too far to go. I used to be nearly a 53 BMI. It still doesn't mean that much to me, I'm just saying, I always picked one battle at a time.

Something about me is that I'm an extremely impatient person. I want it all and I want it now. I would drive myself NUTSO!!! if I thought about all the millions of goals I set for myself. One mountain at a time is all I can handle.

THAT is how I always kept my motivation throughout my long long journey.

Hugs. Remember: One mountain at a time.

ETA: I cannot respond on the menopause issues, but I'll listen to any advice you get! LOL

You have done great. Now is not the time to trade in being over weight for being crazy. Let it alone. Eat right, do as much as you can and if it is a couple pounds a month then so be it. You have gone thru so much, stop and enjoy what you have done so far...

Coops,

I understand were you're coming from, the day I threw my scale in the back of my closet the goals set by my doctors went out of my head. I no longer focused on the scale, but living healthy and getting active. The next important item was I had my doctor put me on hormone replacements once the night sweats, and mood swings went away I had more energy to walk my 3 miles a day with out taking a nap after...lol

My advice is to take it one day at a time focus only on the weight you have lost which is huge and as stated in one of the post take a vacation from the scale and the goal set by your doctor.

I've lost the most weight when I was not thinking about it, then when I was tracking every day it could work the same for you.

Take Care

Hugs and prayers!

I m all for hormone replacement therapy. Perhaps you were on too high of a doseage?

I get mine from a compounding pharmacy. They do a blood test to see where you are, and make the dosage according to the test results. Do they do anything like that there? If not, go back to the doc and explain the night sweats and hot flashes and tell them you need help! Maybe a very low dose is what you need right now.

It is hard to stay motivated. I am having that same problem. I have to watch everything I eat or I start gaining immediately . I just have to keep telling myself that I have to make good choices if I am going to be where I want to be.

I would cut carbs even if they are good carbs and see if makes any difference, drink lots of Water and exercise as much as you can. Don't beat yourself up if you can't fit it in, but try to go as much as you can. Then just keep telling yourself you're doing a great job and all you can do is try your best.

Thank you all for your kind words... I knew this place would cheer me up!

I had a really bad nights sleep las night. Woke up many times covered in sweat and aching...been thru the mill with flushes today, defo getting worse!

I rang my doc when I got home... they can book me in for an afternnon appt, with my chosen doc, on the 20th Dec!! My work is funny about letting us have time off for apptment that can be made after school, but I am going to have to talk to them 'cos I can't wait another month!! This is doing my head in!! I am sure the hormones are the cause of my mood!!

I'm positive it does have a lot to do with it. I hope you can get this figured out! (((hugs)))

(((Hugs))) :heart:

Coops, you have done great so far! Looking forward to hearing what the dr. has to say on the 20th.

Try to squeeze in a little extra activity where ever you can, even just walking around the house or store. I find the activity helps me with the menopause symptoms. Of course, menopause is like WLS surgery - everyone's journey is a little different.

Lynda

Glad you're going in to see the doc. I hope he/she can get your hormones leveled out.

I am a different person. It's really important to find the right level. Ask for bioidentical hormones. They are what's the most natural to our bodies.

Hugs Coops. You are such an inspiration and support to all of us on this forum. You have already come this far, so you shouldn't stop now. Hopefully they can get the hormone issue worked out, so you can reach your dreams. We love ya and we know you can get there!