Yesterday we started swim lessons for my boys (ages 4 & 5) at the YMCA. I had orientation for the fitness center during their class and arrived just about the time they were finishing up. My kids were at different ends of the pool. I saw my youngest get out so I walked over to get him. When I turned around to go get the older one, he was GONE!! I asked where my child was & the lifeguard that had been helping didn't know and she asked the teacher who was still in the Water hanging on the side. She said she had no idea. I didn't panic and followed the lifeguard into the youth locker room. There he was with other kids in the shower. Thank God he still has his trunks on!! I sternly told him to NEVER go into the locker room and stay by the pool until mommy or daddy comes to get him.

The panic didn't hit me until last night and the fear of God came over me that my son could have been at the bottom of that pool for all that teacher knew. Understand this was not a teenager as an instructor, but a woman at least in her 40's and come to find out a lifeguard.

Needless to say, I spoke to the director at the Y twice today. She was very understanding and I told her that I expect the teacher to know where my children are at all times until they are safely back with their parents. She agreed and said all the kids should go to the bleachers until the parents come. She also promised to address this with the teacher. She offered to allow me to stay and observe since they usually ask the parents to leave the pool area after the first lesson. You bet I'm staying and keeping my eyes on my kids and my workouts will have to wait for a different time (b4 or after their class). I am also meeting the director face to face tomorrow. I felt like my concerns were really taken seriously as this lady is the mother of 3 children herself. Regardless, I think I learned a valuable lesson today that NO ONE will care for my children and watch out for them any more than their parents or grandparents.

BTW, this same teacher took this class to the 10 ft area of the pool the first day. My son does not know how to swim or float. Even though there were only 3 kids in this class, I still feel a little uncomfortable with this. The director said that all the kids will go to the deep end sometime during their session to help with the fear of the deep water. I still don't understand this. Does anyone have experience with swim lessons or lifeguarding that can relate to this philosophy? I want my kids to know how to swim and don't really want to pull them from the class. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!!!

Wow that is so scary! I don't have children of my own, but know that sinking feeling when you can't find a child! That teacher needs slapped...only 3 kids in the class and she didnt know where your child was. I could understand maybe if there were 10 or so children. But still it is her job to keep track of her students until a parent picks them up.

As far as swimming lessons my sister and I took them as children for several years after we almost drowned in a river. I don't ever remember the instructor (Red Cross) ever expecting or taking us in the deep water. We were taught the basics, plus survival swims, floating and even rescue breathing. We were never encouraged to go in the deep end or deep water, unless we were on the diving board. I would question the director of the facility about this teacher's ideas, maybe someone needs to drop her in the deep end with a heavy brick.

Wow 3loves that must have been a frieght. As a kid i was always in the water, i took swim lessons every where from the Y to area colleges. All the programs i participated in really stressed going into the deep water, one of the programs even had a 20 foot diving pool they would use for swim lessons. While i understand your worry about this being done of the first day, i have to agree with the aquatics director. And perhaps since there were only 3 kids the instructor thought it was safe. But if anything makes you feel uncomfortable question it, and stay and watch the lesson. Just make sure that you do not make your son feel uncomfortable in the pool as it is essential to learn how to swim.

Just make sure that you do not make your son feel uncomfortable in the pool as it is essential to learn how to swim.

Boy, you make a good point here. Each time I spoke to the director today on the phone, I went into another room. This evening when my DH and I discussed it further, we made sure the kids were not around. Both of my boys definitely pick up on stuff like that. As far as he knows, nothing is wrong.

I also told him that it was wrong to go into the locker room w/o mommy and he wasn't in trouble, but he needs to make sure and wait on me next time. He is to go directly to the bleachers and wait. Both of my boys mind me pretty well & I hope I made it clear enough to both of them....I think I did.

BTW, thanks for the feedback on the deep Water. Your comments relieve some of my stress. I took lessons when I was little, all 4 of us kids did, and we always stayed in the shallow area until we could swim. I guess this is a newer way of thinking.

maudeispam ~ I agree....the teacher should be slapped around a bit. I'm not done with her yet. This is eating me more & more. Especially after watching that precious little girl in ID that is missing. It breaks my heart. Anyone can grab a child at any time. Thankfully, the Y does have a policy against any registered sex offenders and they cross check it with the national registry. Of course, it still crosses my mind.

Wow, I don't blame you for being upset with the teacher. She should keep her eye on the kids at all times. Good for you for bringing this up to the director. They should know what's going on so that they can monitor the teacher. I would be staying to watch as well!

WOW.....that's a scarey situation! I just finished up swim lessons with both of my girls age 5 and 1. I take them to a ladies house who does private lessons of 5 kids at a time in her own pool. It's every day for 2 weeks, 30 minutes at a time. My oldest daughter has been doing this for 5 years. (the past 4 years with the same teacher) She NEVER sent them down to the deepend until after the 3rd day. And what she did was start them in the shallow, they would swim at an angle to the middle of the pool. Stop,wait for all the rest of the kids to get there. And then start from the middle and diagonal to the deep-end. Then she would have them pull thereselves out of the Water and bring them all over to the deepend and then teach them how to properly dive in and then trail them to the wall until she felt comfortable with them swimming to the wall themselves.

A suggestion would be to call a local highschool, JC, College or swim team and ask if they can give you a number of someone that they would recommend for private swim lessons. I only paid 60.00 for 2 weeks! Private (meaning that they will do it at there house or your's if you have a pool) I know it does cost a little more to have someone come to your house.

Good luck!!

At the YMCA in Superior,WI a Friend died there left unattended. Im' sure glad your son is all right it only take's a second in water!

we now live in a small town, and I still don't like my kidd's walking around town. Panic set's in fast im glad your alright too!

My daughter took six consecutive weeks of swim sessions for 3 summers in a row. (We moved to a lakefront house and this was very necessary.) She did NOT go to the deep end until she could swim very well. Then they worked on jumping in, diving, etc. You are right to be concerned.

This should be discussed with the director. Non-swimming kids should NOT be in the deep end for any reason.

I don't know if this helps, But I learned how to swim at the YMCA a long time ago. I was afraid of the water, so my instructor threw a life donut around me and pushed me in the deep end, where I screamed and hollered for what felt like an eternity. As I floated by one of the instructors, he asked my instructor if he could pull me in, as he reached for me my instructor,said "no leave her alone" So I was left floating around the deep end until my cries subsidded and I realized I wasn't drowning. I know I didn't like his method at the time, but since then I can't remember being afraid to swim, As a matter of fact I adore swimming a whole bunch! Go figure. I also sent my son and daughter when they were two years old to learn how to swim at the Y.

Ok my 2 cents worth. I work at an aquatic centre and my kids have swim lessons and they are only 4 and 6 yrs old. I would not leave them for a second as im constantly watching them and making sure there not under the Water or anything. I know the swim teachers at my work and its not actually there responsibility as to when the chn get out to try to watch where they all go, as they have another group to get started with straight away.

My kids get out of the water sometimes to go to the toilet and the teacher doesnt look for me , if im not there watching who knows where they could end it.

Did you sign something to say that the chn are in the teachers care? My work actually requires that the parents need to stay at all times.

I'm going to be a little bit of a devil's advocate here and say that kids IN THE Water are the ones the teacher should be more concerned about than those who are wandering around the deck or the locker rooms. There are other adults around there who would intercept an unaccompanied child and help her out, but if there are any kids in the water at all that's where the lifeguards' and teachers' attention should be.

I say this as a veteran of this exact situation. My younger dd was about 3 when we couldn't find her after lessons, and while I was a little upset one thing I knew for sure was that she wasn't in the water. And that's the most important thing. After a few minutes of frantically looking around, I heard "Will Catie's Mommy please come to the pool deck?" over the paging system, and that panicked me. But when I got there I quickly realized she was in very good hands and had been wandering around looking for me.

I trust the Y with my kids' lives on a regular basis. Kids are unpredictable for sure, but I know that the instructors at my Y have their priorities straight. Kids are NEVER unattended at the pool, and if keeping to that rule means they might wander into a locker room alone that is A-OK with me.

You know all those times we pray for the safety of our kids?? well.....

Yesterday was the last day of MY kids swimming lessons through the Y. I had enrolled all 3 kids. The 2 older ones (10 and 5) are very good swimmers and my little one (3) still neads floats.

I guess that with the pool experiences weve had, I NeVeR even considered leaving and coming back after the lessons were finished. Last year (at my parents pool) we pulled my nephew out *TWICE* - so many kids in the Water and he just jumped in. We didnt see him, didnt even notice he was missing until someone asked where he was. He was ok, but it was a lesson for me that there are never too many eyes watching kids swim!

Yes, I sat in the sun and nearly had a heat stroke during their lessons - BUT - I learned that Im the only person that will watch (out of love and not routine) ONLY my 3 kids. Twice I had to get up and check on my 2 younger kiddies while their teacher was busy with another student - totally understandable! And this was IN the water - the place where these teachers are trained to watch them.

Just take a BIG breath and thank God that he WAS safe. Everyone learned a good lesson from it - and noone was injured! (((HUGS)))

Wow....all kinds of responses and I appreciate every one. It sounds like personal experience plays a big role in this. Very scary jqpublic....my biggest fear.

REEIZBOOJE ~ I think this is where the deep Water philosophy is coming into play and it makes sense hearing that. I'm still a bit fearful and perhaps that will pass as the lessons go on.

Fee ~ Actually they don't want the parents in the area and I haven't signed anything except my membership stuff. I will have to check that info. I will be there every minute from here on out. It's not worth the risk of my children's life. I will have no regrets....I will protect my children.

Alexandra ~ I see where your coming from and I agree to a certain extent. In this situation, it wasn't clear if he was in the water or where he was. He could have very easily walked behind the teacher and gone into the pool. Like I said, he could have been at the bottom of the pool for all she knew. He is an obedient child (as much as a 5 yr old can be) and did follow the teachers instructions and only got out of the pool when told it was OK by the teacher.....the classes were ending when this happened. It wasn't a situation where he was running around during class. These are young children were talking about and it should have been very clear as to what the parents should expect when the class was over. Nothing was ever said regarding this. Yes, another class was coming in.....good point. However, NEVER in a million years would I allow my child, at this age especially, wander around in a locker room unattended. There are doors at both ends.....they could take off and be gone. Perhaps I am borderline paranoid, but God forbid they ever come up missing like that little girl in ID, it won't be from a lack of effort on my part.

this same teacher took this class to the 10 ft area of the pool the first day. My son does not know how to swim or float.

Did the kids have on any kind of I.F.D. (instructional floatation device) when she brought them in the deep end?

Ok, I have taught swim lessons, and been a lifeguard. One thing I do not understand is why they ask the parents to not be in attendance after the first lesson. That screams foul to me. We loved it when the parents were there, because the kids would try harder, and it would not be just play time for them. I have not problem with her taking the kids to the deep end to get them over their fear, but it has to be done in an appropriate way. Did she have them come into the water one at a time, or was she trying to hold all three up in the water at the same time?

I guess a lot depends on one's own comfort level with the facility, 3loves. My Y has only one unlocked door to the outside and that's manned at all times, so it's highly unlikely any child could get out of the building unattended. This facility has excellent security precautions because in addition to lessons, they actually have a preschool on the premises with children in attendance all day (including mine) and kids are being ferried from place to place within the building all the time. My kids alone in that Y's locker room really wouldn't be a big concern for me.

As for going in the deep end, I'd defer to the experts on that score. They use "bubbles" at our Y: floats that strap to the kids' backs and come in varying sizes. They are only intended as an assist; they don't actually keep the kids afloat. It sure was alarming to me the first time I saw Catie go in the deep end even with one of these things, but her teachers know more about her abilities than I do and I was amazed to see how far she'd progressed.

The instructors certainly don't want any accidents, so I wouldn't be too worried about their pushing kids beyond their limits.

FunnyDuddies, I just saw your comment about teachers asking parents to leave. Our Y lets parents watch lessons but only from the balcony. I can understand why, it's so distracting for young kids if they can see their parents. I know my daughters don't pay ANY attention to their instructors if they know I'm there within their voice distance!