Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

Best and worst reactions to telling people you were banded?

  • Replies 31
  • Views 2.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Featured Replies

I have not had any bad reactions yet. But I am lucky that a work in a big place and there are probably a couple of dozen people who have been banded or had bypass. Its great having that built in support group.

I haven't had any bad reactions either. Though at first my mom thought i was getting the bypass and was really upset, but once i explained to her the differences and stuff she was much calmer and very supportive.

I have only told a select few...my DH and daughter knew before I had it done, but no one else. I told my father in law after and he was very supportive. When I told my sister in law, she had a look of pure horror on her face and then proceeded to tell me I'd have to be careful and not gain it all back! Gee, thanks. Of course then she told me she wanted me to find out where she should go in Mexico for Botox!!!

I think I'm done sharing my business!!

Worst reaction was my cousin, who looked at me with a disgusted look on her face and said "Why would you want to do something like that?". We are no longer speaking as she seems to have some kind of major problem with it, even though so far I've lost 38 pounds and am doing really well.

Best reaction was a very close friend who just looked thrilled and said she was absolutely delighted and that she'd been hoping I would do something like that for a long time, not because I looked bad but for my health. She hugged me and was very happy for me.

My mom started off reacting badly but then came around and is now supportive.

My husband was on board from day one and was super supportive and I couldn't have done it without him.

I have had mostly good or supportive reactions, but my mother was a whole different story! She told me that if I died having this surgery she would tell my children I died because I was selfish. I think she was half-kidding, half-serious. Crazy, because she is way overwieght as well. DH, sister, best friends seem to be okay with my decision!:confused:

Ok well as many of you know, my mother passed away in October 2005 from ovarian cancer. She'd had several surgeries over the 4 years she fought the disease. My father (who's supportive) told my mom's best friend that I was doing this and showed her the lapband pamplet and she went home and emailed me here at work saying "I knew your mother very well and she hated surgery and would never have approved" Which tore me up pretty bad, but my dad and 19 year old brother both reminded me of the fact that the three of us knew her better then anybody and if this is what I wanted she would have been behind me 100%. I told her that I needed to do this if I want to have children in the future and she told me that if God wants me to have kids he'll make it happen and all I have to do is pray to him. Wish it always worked that way. I believe in God but he didn't cure my mom's cancer when I prayed for that. Sometimes you have to help yourself if you want God to help you too.

Then just this past week one of my best friends who's been my biggest supporter sent me an email saying "yesterday I was watching montel on tv and they had a psychic on there named sylvia brown and listening to her got me thinking and I wanted to tell you that maybe your consult being moved back a week and then your surgery date being moved back a week too is your mother doing it to show you that she doesn't want you to have this done"

I about flipped out and told her to keep her damn opinion to herself because making the decision to do this was hard enough let alone having all these people outside of the family try and speak for my mother who is dead.

I didn't talk to her for a day and she realized what she said was stupid and wrong and now we've moved on from it.

Josette,

Ouch, sorry for all the rude people in your life. I'm with your dad and brother. Also, I believe that God helps those who help themselves.

Terry :confused:

The only people that were supportive were people here at work that have had it done. My DH was also, after he knew how bad I wanted it. No one else was supportive. I still think my mom doesn't like the idea...

not very good reaction from my mom my husband and my son, but daughter and co-workers will be there fore me

There is a joke I heard once that I really liked, and I think of it anytime I hear someone say "If God wanted such and such, then it would happen.. etc, etc..." It goes something like this...

There is a terrible flood in a small town and the waters rise so rapidly that people are trapped on their roofs, and trying to evacuate safely, the waters are dangerous. A devout fellow is trapped on his roof with no way to escape, he sits and prays for God to save him, as he's praying a neighbour comes by with a row boat and says, I have room for one more, get on in! The devout fellow looks up and says "faith will save me, God will save me, save your spot for someone else". And he continues to pray, and the waters continue to rise. Shortly after a rescue boat comes by and says that his neighbour let them know he was trapped on the roof, they've come to get the last evacuees out. The devout fellow looks up from his prayers and says "faith will save me, God will save me, save your spot for someone else". And he continues to pray, and the waters continue to rise. An hour later a rescue helicopter comes by and begs with him to get on board... letting him know that he has maybe another hour before the waters rush him away. The devout fellow looks up from his prayers and says "faith will save me, God will save me, save your spot for someone else". And he continues to pray, and the waters continue to rise. He dies. He goes to Heaven through the pearly gates, and appears before God. Kneeling before him he asks "Why God, why did you let me die?, I've always been a devout man, I prayed to you to the very end!" and God replies... "I sent two boats and a helicopter?! what more did you want?!"

Reading through these reactions has just reassured me of why I don't want to share this with anyone. I am still in the research phase, but am seriously exploring this option. I told my DH, but told him that I don't want him to discuss it with anyone. If I make an educated decision to deal with my weight, I don't want to deal with everyone's $.02. My BMI is about 36, and I have about 80lbs to loose.

Has anyone else "lied" or withheld the fact they had surgery? I'm really struggling with this. I'm a very private person, and don't think I want to be a poster child for WLS. And I definitely don't think I could handle everyone giving opinions on my business.

Any advise???

I am a very open person, so the privacy thing does not bother me. In fact I think I have helped out several people who have come to me asking how I lost my weight and have since made appointments to have consultations. I am proud I made this decision and don't care who knows. I guess I have become the poster child for WLS in my "arena". Then again, I have not had anyone critisize me for doing it, so I can not speak to that.

I havent had a bad one, honestly! People might come up to me and say "wow, you've lost a lot of weight, you look fantastic" and of course they always follow with "how have you done it". I always just tell the truth and they say "well, good for you!". Nobody has ever said anything negative to me.

I'm proud of the decision too - I was one of those people that people probably think "she didnt need weight loss surgery" but that's more about your head than the size of your weight problem. If it helps ONE person to make a similar decision for themelves, then I'm happy to tell all.

I haven't had any bad reactions. My husband was supportive from the start as well as my whole family. After the complications I had after the surgery, which are extremely rare, my husband said he might not have been so supportive if he'd known I would go through that. But I am doing OK and everyone continues to support me even though I'm not losing very fast. I go for a third fill next week and hope that will kick things into gear.

i haven't had a bad one either. although my mother still doesn't really understand the operation no matter how many times i explain it. i actually had a wonderful experience telling some cousins of mine about the band this weekend. i was at a family reunion this past weekend and i saw two cousins who are close to me in age. they are prob about 100 lbs over weight at this point and they have gained about 30 or 40 lbs since i saw them 2 years ago. when i saw them then i casually spoke about weightloss surgery and they were horrified that i would consider doing this. but once i saw them this weekend and my whole family was commenting on my weightloss, i knew i had to tell them even though i was afraid of a bad reaction like the last time. when i told them, they almost cried and said that they had been seriously thinking of WLS and that they appreciated me sharing this with them. they were both mostly considering the band and they were so happy to talk to me about it. so that has to be my BEST instance of telling someone.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.