I admit I've been in kind of a terrible mood lately. Mostly it's my divorce kicking my ass. I'll be in a decent mood, envisioning how I am going to restart my life on the terrible scorched earth coordinates wherein nothing intersects with nowhere; and then the ex will call.

Lately? The ex wants to instruct me and give his impeccable expertise on the pursuit of happiness. For example: you

need to learn to be satisfied with the little things, like the sunshine and the trees and the flowers, he'll say.

I could tell you why that infuriates me, but i think you can imagine the whole backstory yourself.

After this happens, I will hang up and fly into a rage that lasts several days. I was in the middle of one of these when I realized it had been THREE MONTHS since I flew down to Mexicali Mexico to get my stomach cut out. So I went to the pool to burn off some poison and get

a weigh-in. Result?

237.

Down 51 pounds.

Not only that, when I came here to share the news I saw all the new progress and anniversary picks here and I just want to say:

THANK YOU!!!! Once I saw all you guys and your progress my mood improved an awful lot.

I'm averaging about 1200 calories and losing 1.5-2 pounds a week, and doing a little exercise -- say three times a week I'll walk for an hour and swim. I had to buy all new clothes for summer since I had nothing and I am now a SIXTEEN, which is not an eight I know, but it's all so much better than it used to be even though I rarely pay attention since I'm in a post-divorce rage an awful lot of the time.

I remember at the beginning of this thinking that three months is an incredibly long time. It was too long to wait to lose fifty one pounds. I was right. It is too long, and if I had a better alternative I would take it. It takes so long for the scars to heal and your stomach to start to forgive you. It takes so long to figure out how to eat again and get your energy back. It takes a long time to lose weight, especially if you have a lot to lose. It's like emptying an olympic swimming pool with a teaspoon.

But here's the real benefit to all of this. It never stops coming off. Little by little, week by week, day by day, that scale just keeps giving up more and more territory.

I wasn't really excited about doing this in beginning because I was sooooo fat and it was just going to take ninety years it seemed to me to get anywhere close to where I wanted to be. I just knew I had to do something and nothing I had tried before in 46 years had worked. But now I'm starting to get a little excited. I have a sleeveless tank top. I am wearing a size sixteen swimming suit. I am probably going to be under 200 before the end of the year, Christmas when I go home to see all my relatives.

Can't wait. No really.

Gratz on the weight loss. You're right, in the beginning, it seems like we will never get there. But, now you are living proof that it works!!!! Keep it up, you're doing great.

Gratz on the weight loss. You're right, in the beginning, it seems like we will never get there. But, now you are living proof that it works!!!! Keep it up, you're doing great.

. Thanks Maddie. You look f**king amazing, by the way.

You're doing great!!!! WTG! I think you will definitely be under 200 before Christmas!

I really do think those with a support system have an easier time and more successful time at losing the weight... DON'T FORGET US GAL! The "honeymoon" passes so quickly with the surgery, time will fly! And so sorry about the D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Yuck. I'm sure the extra hormones being released with the fat aren't helping with that. My husband thinks hes my dad sometime too... and he's 12 years younger than me. Sexy behavior...NOT!!!

Congratulations on the weight loss!

And, IMHO, start screening your calls so do don't talk to people you know are going to upset you.

. Thanks guys. Doing what I can here. And I think I'm down another pound. It does just keep coming off, yay.

You are doing WONDERFUL! Congrats to you! I'm with ya- I can be down and feeling bad but when I read all the success stories on here it cheers me up and keeps me going! Good luck to you!

Totally swell post. I couldn't agree more. And you are doing just fabulously. Keep on posting, remember that some of us need to hear what YOU say.

So proud of you for accomplishing so much during such a trying time! Definitely make sure you use that caller ID...only talk to him when you have to! Good luck and keep up the good work!

Crosswind, I always look forward to your posts, because behind the words I get a sense of you as a real person who is going through some tough times and STILL manages to see the bright side.... Your ex has no clue how strong and positive you really are if he's passing on platitudes like "be satisfied with the little things." I can think of about 1000 "interesting" comebacks for that phrase that I would have lobbed in his general direction, so I think you're being much more gracious than I would be under the circumstances!!

And yay for the 51 pounds. I agree with the others--caller ID is a good thing. Do what you do on your terms, just like you've done with your sleeve. Continue to care for yourself. You definitely deserve it!! Congratulations and thanks for posting. Meg