You know what I noticed? When I weighed 247 no one said anything about my weight. Now everyone has a freakin' opinion. I didn't get a sleeve to be sexy, or to flaunt everything I have. I did it to be healthy and to be around for my son. So, now that I'm almost 70 pounds lighter everyone feels the need to comment on it. I used to be invisible and really it had it's perks. Now, everyone notices me and feels the need to tell me what they think.

Today, we had an event at work and I wore a dress. One of the teachers said to me, "You look 10 times better now than you did last year." I'm still trying to figure out WTF she meant by that. Why do people have to give you back handed compliments? My boss told me, "I'm glad you decided to get active because you really needed to do something about it before." Really? At my highest weight I still did my job like a pro. My weight has NEVER effected my job performance. Friends are telling me that I should dress sexier so everyone can see how sexy I am now. I was sexy when I was 247! Someone else at work told me that I need to slow down because I'm losing too much weight and my girl won't like it if I lose my shape. That I should just lift weights and stop doing so much cardio because I'm getting too skinny. Excuse me why are you all in my relationship? How do you know what she'll like? Oh, the one that took the cake was the woman that said that I shouldn't have had the surgery because now I can't eat anything - I should have researched more and picked something different that would allow me to eat more.

Right now I'm not really comfortable with how I look. I see everything that I still need to fix and I don't recognize myself sometimes when I look in the mirror. I'm trying to figure out who this version of me is. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how fast my body is changing. I really don't need everyone's opinions. I'm sure people mean well, but I feel vulnerable as it is. At first it was you look great which was embarassing enough (I don't like a lot of attention), now the comments are getting a little too personal. I don't need the Peanut Gallery's 2 cents!

It is annoying, but at least you are not alone, I think we all get these comments... It is annoying, and, as you said, no-one said anything before. Now everyone is like "Oh, you really needed to lose weight" or "Good, but now you have to stop, what's your goal?" (I am so not telling anyone here how much I weigh, EVER!). Just p**s off and leave me alone.

I'm just glad I didn't tell anyone about the surgery (apart from my family).

Yesterday it was funny though. Hubby had a friend coming over who just lost 7 kgs (15 lbs) over the last 2 months. He was complimenting himself and telling me everything about his diet. Then he asked: "You did lose some weight too, didn't you?". Me: "Well, about 25 kgs", he: "Then you win". I WIN? Seriously? What do I win?

Brush it off. I do. I get, "Aren't you hungry? What did you eat this morning? What did you bring for lunch? I bet your hubby likes the fact the grocery bill has gone down." Yeah I just walk away and forgive them. They don't have a clue.

Deb

People are douches! They just don't think before they open their mouthes sometime. My Mom said to me, "Oh my God, I'm getting so fat! I'm bigger than you now!" (eyeroll) Some people

I like how someone told you your girl won't like you if you lose too much weight, UUMMM how the hell do you know what MY GIrl likes????? thank U very much!

Some people are just clueless and need to be bitch slapped in the head. Personally my husband Loves that he can feel and see my bones again like he could when we were in high school, and that I have the energy that I did back then *wink*!!!

keep up the work and reap the rewards!

My sweet sister-in-law who is generally very kind hearted said, "gosh you must feel so much better now that you aren't so bloated". Bloated? No...I was just fat!

Notice too how everyone around you who knows about the surgery is on a diet?!

I feel like people with these types of comments and sideways compliments can miss me altogether. I have an aunt who saw me before surgery at a wedding reception. She called me from across the room to come over to her. As I get over to her she tells me, "you sure getting fat." Out of no where, no hello, no it's nice to see you. I just walked away hurt and angry.

Well recently I saw this same aunt at a family function, mind you I am 110lbs ligther from 298lbs. We were sitting at the dining room table, she makes the comment that I needed to stop losing more weight because I would start to look sick. I told her I was going to keep going until me and my doctor were happy, and I dont care what hating people like her thought. Call me what you want but you wont call me fat.

I say all that to say this, keep it pushing ma. Do you, because some people will never be happy with what you do or choices you make. You did this to be here, be healthy, and happy.

I guess it's true, haters will hate. That's their job. At first it was a shock, now there's no shock to it, they just feel the need to be rude, bossy, intrusive and all up in my business. I mind my buisness. I do my job, and work out at lunch. I've invited plenty of people to work out with me in the weight room, no one does. But everyone wants to tell me that I'm doing too much or I should do this or that. They're not down there with me, they have no idea what I'm doing. Everyone's a trainer now.

I just wish that people thought before they spoke. If you have to say something say I look nice today and keep it moving. There's no need to be all up in my relationship, bedroom, and pants size - yes, I had someone ask me what my pants size was now I said 14, and she said "really, because you look bigger than that. I mean you're not as big as you were before, I would have guessed you were at least an 18 now."

The nerve of people!

People are douches! They just don't think before they open their mouthes sometime. My Mom said to me, "Oh my God, I'm getting so fat! I'm bigger than you now!" (eyeroll) Some people

That sounds like something MY mom would say. We just did a summer clothing exchange...she gave me all her old 14's and I gave her all my 16's and 18's. I know it was hard on her. She is a diabetic and won't ever, EVER talk about it. She even sneaks her meds and pretends they are mints. One of the reasons I had surgery is so I don't end up diabetic too. Sheesh.

And Shanny you aren't going to please everyone all the time, so don't even try. I like how everyone is all up your business now, lol "eveyone's a trainer" omg...you are so right. Just keep rocking your sleeve, and don't worry about the haters!

My fav was the lady at work who told me after I lost 30 lbs that I was getting "closer to beautiful everyday!" And, she beamed at me like she'd said something wonderful as I gave her the WTF? look. I've finally come to realize that all of the people within my circle mean well and want to say nice things they just bumble them REALLY badly sometimes. At those times, I grab the phrase us southern women use to secretly call people idiots, "Well, bless their little hearts."

My sweet sister-in-law who is generally very kind hearted said, "gosh you must feel so much better now that you aren't so bloated". Bloated? No...I was just fat!

Notice too how everyone around you who knows about the surgery is on a diet?!

YES!!!

It's like God forbid Sam should be smaller than me ever

YES!!!

It's like God forbid Sam should be smaller than me ever

One of my friends told me that she has to start working out because I can't "beat" her. I'm only 4 pounds more than she is. Um, I didn't know we were competing!

You know what I noticed? When I weighed 247 no one said anything about my weight. Now everyone has a freakin' opinion. I didn't get a sleeve to be sexy, or to flaunt everything I have. I did it to be healthy and to be around for my son. So, now that I'm almost 70 pounds lighter everyone feels the need to comment on it. I used to be invisible and really it had it's perks. Now, everyone notices me and feels the need to tell me what they think.

Today, we had an event at work and I wore a dress. One of the teachers said to me, "You look 10 times better now than you did last year." I'm still trying to figure out WTF she meant by that. Why do people have to give you back handed compliments? My boss told me, "I'm glad you decided to get active because you really needed to do something about it before." Really? At my highest weight I still did my job like a pro. My weight has NEVER effected my job performance. Friends are telling me that I should dress sexier so everyone can see how sexy I am now. I was sexy when I was 247! Someone else at work told me that I need to slow down because I'm losing too much weight and my girl won't like it if I lose my shape. That I should just lift weights and stop doing so much cardio because I'm getting too skinny. Excuse me why are you all in my relationship? How do you know what she'll like? Oh, the one that took the cake was the woman that said that I shouldn't have had the surgery because now I can't eat anything - I should have researched more and picked something different that would allow me to eat more.

Right now I'm not really comfortable with how I look. I see everything that I still need to fix and I don't recognize myself sometimes when I look in the mirror. I'm trying to figure out who this version of me is. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how fast my body is changing. I really don't need everyone's opinions. I'm sure people mean well, but I feel vulnerable as it is. At first it was you look great which was embarassing enough (I don't like a lot of attention), now the comments are getting a little too personal. I don't need the Peanut Gallery's 2 cents!

Yup its amazing isn't it. . . i used to hate that myself, but it will go away and you'll become just one of the girls. . . the one thing that still p.o's me is that the overweights at work still watch EVERYTHING i eat, drink, chew, etc. . . i hear crap like this "are you allowed that?" "isn't that bad for you", "should you eat that" . . . I got so irked with one that I told her . . . well I didn't get this way with you helping me along now did I? Oh and honey, maybe you should take your own advice on what to eat". . . I was so upset that I didn't care what flew out of my pie hole that day. . .so yes, I understand your frustration as well. . . but trust me it does go away eventually. Hang in there. . . they are just really jealous right now. . .

I have learned that people just dont know what to say when weight is concerned. the funny thing is i think ppl are speculating but they dont know how to ask...and ppl that ask if I on a diet I just answer yes. I have a male friend who likes plus sized women, and he was like "STOP you are losing too much weight now" I am 280 lbs stop it dude

ppl have their own opinions and comfort levels with you and how u SHOULD look...esp if u have always been heavy, the heavy friend/family member etc.

My mom was anti surgery, now she is more supportive, but her latest comments, have been that I can't possibly be healthy consuming so little, and that my muscles are going to atrophe, and organs fail and all this... my answer was just pray they dont ughhh

Several people around me have had WLS, and yet I still made the decision not to tell anyone about it. My hubby knows, and my brother and his wife (she also had VSG). I saw all the ridiculous comments that people around them were making, and I decided that I didn't want to have to deal with it post-op. i have gotten some comments about general weight loss, which I never know how to respond, i really feel that this is such a personal issue, and can't believe how intrusive people are about it. In comparison, if I saw a friend with noticably bigger boobs, I'd never ask her if she got implants! to me, this is the same thing, but some people can be soo insensitive.

Maybe next time a semi stranger says "Gee, how much weight have you lost!?", I might try saying "Gee, how many manners have you lost?".

I also find it uncouth, ill mannered and rude to comment on people's weight unless they bring it up.