So I'm 5 days out and feeling shame!

Shame on me that I couldn't learn to control what I ate and allowed myself to become morbidly obese!

Shame on me because now I'm here sipping DISGUSTING Protein shakes because I couldn't control what I ate!

Shame on me, there are so many healthy & delicious foods that I chose not to eat enough of and chose the others!

Shame on me, now I'm laying here with less than 20% of my stomach. WTH!!!??

Shame on me. RANT OVER.

Just had to get it off my bloated chest/stomach!!! LOL

Have any of you felt this way?

Lovingly,

monica:001_tongue:

I think maybe a little but that is more like the way I felt when I failed yet another diet. I remember trying very hard every time and I just could not keep the weight off no matter how bad I wanted it so it was not just my lack of will power. You are on a tough day. I remember day 5 and it was a black one for me. You will be in a much better mental place soon.

Of course! I thought the same thing... Why did I 'elect' surgery? My son said that "I did it to myself." I think he was talking about the pain and problems after surgery, not the fat to get me to surgery, but I know that I did both to myself. However, I will always believe that obesity is a disease. Diseases require medical intervention. Determining the type of intervention is the difference between us and people that yo-yo (which is what I was).

Albert Einstein defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I chose what I consider the most sane route to a healthy lifestyle. I am expecting different results this time! And this is from a person that has been having a few problems 2 weeks after surgery. If I knew then what I know now, I would still do the surgery.

5 days post-op isn't the time to evaluate, but if you are going to: write it in a journal with pros and cons of the surgery, continue the journal in 2 weeks, 4 weeks, etc. At 1 year, look back at your weight loss and your journal to decide if you made the right choice. I think the answer will be yes. It will never be without challenges as life is never with challenges.

Good luck, it will get better,

Terrie

I felt EXACTLY the same way! I thought those same things over and over. But, this surgery wasn't the "easy" way out. It's anything but easy. For me it was the only way. Diets weren't working or we would have never even considered this. What you need to focus on is how very lucky we were to find a solution. Finally a way out of the vicious cycle that has consumed our lives. We have a new chance at a healthy life. Hang in there, it gets better.

Monica - forget the shame and take the glory for the fact you stopped yourself in your tracks and made the decision for the surgery - a wonderful gift to yourself and those that love you.

I know if we could all turn the clocks back then I'd certainly have stopped myself becoming overweight all those years ago ..... but we can't look backwards - we can only look forwards. So take the positive route and be proud that you have saved yourself from any future anguish from weight problems.

Yes...I have beat myself for being "weak" and "undisciplined" I have had some dark days....however I believe that for me this option is a TOOL which gives me an opportunity to live a whole and happy life. I know this is a dark day...you aren't alone and this dark space will pass...

I'm having my VSG surgery in August, and I do have some of these same feelings - that's it pathetic to have to REMOVE MOST OF MY STOMACH to get the food under control, that's it's the 21st century equivalent to the old jaw-wiring from back in the 70s, that it's an artificial solution to an emotional/chemical problem, and on and on. And then I think, OK, so be it. This is the solution I choose, for me. Not the easy way, not the optimum way (making the correct choices, eating smaller quantities would have been the optimum way, if I could have done it), but the right way for me, for where I find myself today. And then I move on.

There is no need to feel any shame what-so-ever about having this procedure. For what ever reason, diets did not work. Period. This surgery allows you to get your life back. It's a difficult decision to make, and you should be proud for doing so. It took a lot of guts (no pun intended). The sleeve allows you to have a normal life after it is healed. You can eat almost everything you had before, but in smaller amounts. You won't be bitter about having smaller amounts, because you will feel full. It will get better each month, and you will not gain the weight back, as long as you don't abuse the tool by eating high calorie carbohydrates. If you stumble, no need to worry, you just start eating right again, and the weight will still come off. This is the best and safest bariatric surgery. Stop the pitty party and begin enjoying your new life. You will be thin!!

Honestly, no. I have never felt any shame in admitting that I couldn't do it on my own. I think it's a bigger shame, embarrassment to not ask for help, to sit back and deny that we can't do it on our own, to allow our bodies to be constantly plagued by disease and conditions related to obesity.

I got off that hamster wheel, and have zero shame wearing my size 4s proudly. Surgery or not, I worked my ass off, literally, to be living this life.

You all are so wonderful...really. I sometimes post just to rant and expect no one to even bother responding. Thank you!

Zephra

Terrie

Sparkle

CityGal

MuffinsMom

Immore

Tiffykins

I'm going to hold on to all of your kind words for strength.

"You will be thin!"

"This dark space will pass."

"A wonderful gift to yourself and those you love"

"It will never be without challenges as life is never with challenges."

Now, are any of you willing to drink my fluids for me???

Lovingly,

monica:001_tongue:

Are you kidding? I can't even get mine in!!! I am glad you are feeling better. I have been on almost a high as I watch my body get smaller with almost no effort of mine for the first time in over 18 years. It feels sooooo good!

You all are so wonderful...really. I sometimes post just to rant and expect no one to even bother responding. Thank you!

Zephra

Terrie

Sparkle

CityGal

MuffinsMom

Immore

Tiffykins

I'm going to hold on to all of your kind words for strength.

"You will be thin!"

"This dark space will pass."

"A wonderful gift to yourself and those you love"

"It will never be without challenges as life is never with challenges."

Now, are any of you willing to drink my fluids for me???

Lovingly,

monica:001_tongue:

I think it is important to be honest about how we feel.

I think of the problem as an appetite control problem that is remedied by caloric restriction/i.e. small stomach.

Appetite control issues are complicated and often caused by lifestyle/emotional issues but also I feel eventually become driven by PHYSICAL/hormonal/metabolic abnormalities.

Sometimes a problem starts for one reason, but ends of continuing because of other reasons.

Like someone does cocaine b/c they have pain in their life or a bad example is set for them. Later though, the physical body changes to the point that it drives the addiction.

I think this is true for food.

So who would fault a cocaine addict for finding any way possible to stop using cocaine which is ruining their life?

I think you should hopefully, eventually feel extremely proud of yourself. Everybody has problems. The strong are those that find a way to solve their problem so it doesn't ruin their life.

Anytime someone does not HAVE the same problem as another, it is easy to judge.

But to me, I'm just proud that I found a way to solve the appetite control issues b/c it was hurting my emotional and physical well being. I just also have hope that it was the right decision long term and that I made a good decision.

Hi agree with all. Also remember that guilt is a pointless and destructive emotion. It's probably one of the things that caused you to eat in the first place. Ditch the guilt. It's not as if you have murdered anyone, robbed a bank, embezzled a million dollars is it? You haven't have you??

Jane x

Hi agree with all. Also remember that guilt is a pointless and destructive emotion. It's probably one of the things that caused you to eat in the first place. Ditch the guilt. It's not as if you have murdered anyone, robbed a bank, embezzled a million dollars is it? You haven't have you??

Jane x

That is soooo what I would have liked to have said!

I agree - being overweight is NOT a crime (not that you would guess the amount of hysteria and discrimination around), neither is doing something about it.

Totally agree. Pat yourself on your gorgeous back for finding the solution and going for it. Good for you! x

I remember when I had just gotten my surgery date, and the shame really hit me, that there are so many unfortunate and starving people all over the world, and here I am needing weight loss surgery because I spent so many years eating everything and anything I wanted.

That is soooo what I would have liked to have said! :thumbdown:

I agree - being overweight is NOT a crime (not that you would guess the amount of hysteria and discrimination around), neither is doing something about it.

Totally agree. Pat yourself on your gorgeous back for finding the solution and going for it. Good for you! x

Judy is right here. Basically there are loads of people in the world who are not on side. Find solace with us who understand what you are going through sweetheart, we do really care.

Jane xxx