Have any of you had this problem? I'm not even telling my boyfriend. I'm hoping he won't find out! Am I crazy? I did mention it to my brother I was thinking about WLS and he gave me this huge speech about how I just need to eat right and work out 1-2 hours a day. So I told him I wasn't doing it (WLS). I figured he'd just tell everyone and they would talk behind my back.:thumbup1:

My experience is that you shouldn't tell EVERYONE. But you will need key members of your family and friends to understand what you are going through. Being 10 days post op myself and the emotional aspect of the surgery taking place, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have the close people in my life that knew what I just went through and why.

It may mean you have defind yourself to your brother or loved ones, explaining why you feel you need the surgery. People tend to act like it is something you don't need because they are thinkin that is what you need to hear. Others really do think it can be controled with eating and exercise. I had the surgery because I couldnt do it alone.

I hope this has helped at least a little.

Hey rollermom

I saw your june 5 date... congrats!!!!

I wasn't going to tell anyone at first. I just didn't want anyone to know. I have still not told my family.... I just don't need the lectures.... but I did end up telling some of my close friends. It was nice having some people around to check on me and for me to talk about my experience to.

Depending on how often you see your BF it may be kinda difficult to explain why you can only have Clear liquids or mushies. Also.... we make some kinda weird noises after.... stomach gurgling etc.

Congrats again

Keep us posted

Gurgling noises...funny! Well, I had the band and I told my Dad and brothers. They thought I was crazy. Then they started telling people. I was always uncomfortable not knowing who might bring it up and bring it up in front of someone I didn't want knowing. I wasn't sure if they knew how personal it was. It made me uncomfortable because my weight was always a topic since I lost so much.

Been going out with my boyfriend almost 6 months. Everytime we were intimate I'd have to manuever my hand so that I covered my port--it began to really poke out--hated that thing. But he never knew! Now that I recently lost it he's upset I've gained weight and has no idea why. I know he may end up finding out about this, but as long as I can keep it a secret, I will. We'll see. But he and his buddies blab all the time at work, and I know he'd tell someone and once one person knows they all do and we hang out with them a lot. Plus people who know may judge you to be weak which isn't what I want at all.

My brother knows my band is out but my Dad doesn't as I didn't want to tell him because he paid for it. Oh gawd, that would just kill him to know.

Yes, just days away. Should be some experience. Looking for all the support I can here, but I will tell my BFF--nothing I can keep from her. Thanks for all the support...it helps! :ohmy:

Sounds like a plan! BFF's are the best and will respect your right to privacy.

not even your BF. My BF was th first person to know ( i love that boy crazy!!!!! I swear i have the BESt BF in the world) i didnt tell my mom but with my case i winded up in the ICU and that how my family find out and uh to this day my "dear" sweet mother never fails to remind me of the almost fatal heartattack she claim she almost had. **mothers**

i'm the same way. I am having the sleeve surgery in 10 days, and the ONLY people who know about this is my mom and dad, my grandma (who is paying for it) and my best friend. no one else knows and I am keeping that way. Only because I want it to be a complete shock on our family christmas eve party. My family is made up of people who talk bad about me and behind my back but are fake to my face. saying i will never become anything. so they will see and have a heart attack. its a personal choice to keep it hidden. go with what your heart tells you to do. because all my family lives soo close to me..im going into hiding haha.

Well i kind of felt the same way about not telling everybody, but once i was of recovery i called most of they to let them know. And ever since then I've been telling everyone who ask "have you lost some weight" Maybe if i share my story with some of them who are fighting that same battle we have been fighting, they may start wondering if WLS is right for them. Hey you may want to just tell Key members of you family first, I'm telling you telling my brother, two sisters, mom & dad and of course my wife gave me other people to talk too to calm my nerves pre-op.

I told everyone who would listen! Even my crazy weirded out mother who has me dead and buried already! hehehe. . . in the beginning it's different (before the surgery) then I didn't tell anyone except my husband and daughter. . . they needed to know. . .the reason i didn't was because of the "advice" people think they can give you. . . very very negative. . . but after the surgery, heck it was done already and there is totally NO turning back, so whatever. . . those who did the "you could have done it on your own" got the "really, that is why I was so thin in the first place right" lecture right back from me. . . that usually shut them up. . .now i'm 5 months out and it's boring to talk about it, so when people who don't know i've had the surgery say "wow you've lost alot of weight, how did you do it" I just say "the normal way how else" and leave it at that. . . I still see myself as a very heavy person, my best friends, who know about the WLS, say "your head hasn't caught up with your body yet" . . .but the lectures do eventually stop and people carry on with their lives, it doesn't go on for ever I promise. . . just in the beginning before surgery i wouldn't tell too many folks, after that who cares! Good luck and your going to do just fine!