? When people ask how I?m doing, I have been very honest. This is week 5 without real food for me. I am having a VERY HARD TIME!

? I was so thrilled to get to have some soup in the blender on the first day. Now, I am just plain sick of it! I am really craving real food that I can chew.

? Because I?m not letting myself be around people that are eating real food (like in the teacher?s lounge at work), I think when I hear about food I get completely fixated. (ex. Can?t stop thinking about Wannalise?s post saying her friends ate burgers and nachos! I know this is way more mental to me - but it is really hard!)

? My stomache has started to make some funny noises at random times ? this is a little embarrassing.

? I feel better. My clothes actually fit. Before the surgery I was almost ready to pop out of them.

? Keeping track of fluids is essential for 2 reasons. First of all, I need to space them out throughout the day since I can?t chug them. Second, I have found myself getting so busy at work that I forget to grab my water bottle sometimes.

? I was in the car mid week and sneezed. I reached for a napkin from my glove compartment. This is typically where I stock napkins that I have picked up from various fast food places. THERE WERE NONE LEFT!!!! This was such a turning point because I guess I haven?t been to a fast food place since the beginning of March and I ran out. Very cool, but caught me completely off guard!

? Wednesday was the start of my emotional rollercoaster that lasted the rest of the week. I was not super positive like last week. I was angry, depressed, and resentful since I couldn?t eat like everyone else, and had very little energy.

? I have a friend who is going to be a therapist and gives good advice. She had gastric bypass years ago so she?s been there. When I was at the end of my rope this week, I called her. I explained to her one situation when I had to sit next to an open bag of steaming popcorn and a bunch of chocolate during a planning meeting after school one day. Her advice to me was to say to myself, ?That was really hard, but that hour is now over. Next time it will be just a little bit easier.? I have tried this several times this week and it has definitely helped.

? Pre-op Diet 3 weeks - 20 lbs.

? Week 1 sleeved - 8 lbs.

? Week 2 sleeved ? 2 lbs. (Even though I put the scale away at the end of last week, I took it out halfway through and weighed myself. My small loss made me really mad! I think since I ?feel? like my body is living off almost nothing that I just deserve to lose lots each week. This is one of the many reasons why I need to start seeing a therapist through this process. I am going to talk to my doctor about it next week at my appointment.)

Thank you for posting this. Although my insurance does not cover the sleeve, they do cover seeing a therapist. It is good to go into this being prepared for the mental challenges.

VV2010

Congrats on your surgery!

It sounds like you are having a difficult time, but it also sounds like you are working through your issues just fine.

Thanks for 'blogging' for those of us who havent been thru it yet :-)

Lisa

Well first of all I'm sorry that I passed my fixations on to you! The truth is though each time you conquer you get a little stronger mentally. You have proven to yourself that you can't be defeated by certain things. This is really hard, and I think that those who don't struggle with the mental part are very lucky, but that just isn't me. Changing my stomach is restrictive and offers an instant consequence if I do so much as drink too much water, but that didn't change my brain at all. That part is my job. I think there is lots of wisdom in using therapy or whatever tools you need to in order to make this a lasting change. I know myself well enough to know that unless I change the things about myself that make me feel like I NEED food not for fuel, but to get through different situaions, I can make this effort futile. Please know that it takes STRENGTH to ask for help, and that is what you are demonstrating. Each week this gets a little better. I'm just over three weeks and on my second week I felt so isolated and alone. Do your best not to make this a situation that isolates you. Easier said than done I know, where there are people there will be food, but show up armed, with your trusty water bottle, or your protein shake, and be involved. Be proud of what you've accomplished so far, and the fact that those feet of yours are moving in the right direction. I'm here if you ever need to vent or talk, I'm obviously no vet in the world of sleeve, but I'd be happy to learn along side you. Good luck!

Thank you for posting your thoughts. I am one week and one day from my revision and although physically I've had a what seems to be a relatively easy time (compared to some of the other posts I have read) and I am grateful for that....I also really feel your frustation and pain. Last night I attended a black tie dinner event and sat at a table of folks eating and drinking. I told the folks taking care of our table that I would not be eating. I just chose to make "small talk" with the folks around me. But somewhere in the evening my "head" got hungry....some of my fat girl showed up as I looked at the thin women and their dates around the room....I love to dance and didn't have a dance partner...I started to feel like an " odd duck"...I know its not quite the same but I think I will be bumping my knees on feelings and fears and the way I have always dealt with it is by eating.

Sending you my good intentions and really appreciate your candor!!

The mental is definitely the worst! I still struggle with it and do get cranky or just plain disappointed sometimes.

My scale has also been moving very slowly the past couple of weeks which is frustrating. I even tried shaking it up - with more shakes - and it didn't much of anything.

I started on yogurt, mashed potatoes, cottage cheese, potato soup ... soft and mushie foods during the first week. The liquid thing just didn't work for me. I haven't had any stomach issues because of it.

The norm does seem to be to move into food more conservatively, however there are also plenty of people who have been ok'd by the drs or just moved to soft/mushie earlier. To me, it seems that if you take a little bite, wait a few minutes, you don't feel bad - try alittle more. I have not vomited once. My stomach does gurgle when I eat something new. The only discomfort is if I eat too much or too fast.

I asked a question a while ago and it kind of got misinterpreted but I think the main thing is to avoid foods that could do damage to the new seam of your stomach. Nuts, crunchies, etc.

Hang in there and don't be hard on yourself. :wink1:

I am like you PNW218, I stay on the liquids a week and a half and moved right up to soft/mushie foods. Fish/tuna has become my favorite friend. I eat a salad with lunch and dinner. Passing my waste seems to be my biggest problem. I went through a week and a half of no weight loss and I almost went crazy and then I loss 4 more lbs. I tend to weigh myself every morning hoping for a great result. "NOT" it just takes time. Hang in there, I just believe it is gonna get better.

Hey VV. I haven't been through the fire yet, but I feel your pain. I can only imagine how it must feel to sit around people and not be able to eat any of what they're having. I'm really worried about that. But, try to keep in mind that very soon, you will be able to eat small amounts of what everyone else is eating. And from what others here say, you'll be satisfied with that small amount. Counseling or joining an existing WLS support group should help you develop some good strategies to deal with these kinds of situations. I'm doing individual now and might switch to a support group post-op.

I personally think scales are evil and should be avoided in the early stages of weight loss. Any weight gain or lack of weight loss can send you in a downward spiral immediately. Instead of weighing yourself, keep focusing on the change in how your clothes fit and let your weigh-ins happen at the docs office.

Also, please continue to be careful with your diet. It sounds like you're doing a really good job with that or you wouldn't be so frustrated. :crying: I'm nobody to preach about good eating habits, but better safe than sorry. I would consider contacting your surgeon's office to see if someone can review your diet with you. Maybe there's something you could be eating that's more satistying but it just hasn't occured to you yet, or you forgot about it. I've heard of people being blamed for post-surgical complications, like leaks, because supposedly they ate something they weren't supposed to early on. I personally think that's rubbish in most cases, but we know it's a possibility. Why risk it?

Hey VV

I'm sorry to hear this weeks been so rough. I'd say something profound but I don't really have anything.

What your going through now is the stuff I am most afraid of. Not the surgery or the healing or the physical pain.

Its the hardest thing. It does seem though, from reading others posts, that it is truly great when you come out the other side.

Hopefully I'll see you there when I finally make it through.

Love Yourself

stacey

I think you're doing fabulous and I think everything you're going through is quite normal.

I also think you are very smart and it's great that you are aware and recognize what is going on and that's very important.

I totally get what you mean about being sick of the same things though. I've been on this PrescriptFit diet for a few weeks now and there are two flavors for me. chocolate shake and chicken soup. That's it. I'm damned sick of both and those are the same things I'll be able to have post op as well. I haven't even HAD surgery yet.

Hang in there....if you're having as weather there as beautiful as we're having a few states over then go outside and enjoy it.

Best of luck to you and PLEASE keep posting and keep us updated. It's helpful for all of us!

Well first of all I'm sorry that I passed my fixations on to you! The truth is though each time you conquer you get a little stronger mentally.

Do your best not to make this a situation that isolates you. Easier said than done I know, where there are people there will be food, but show up armed, with your trusty Water bottle, or your Protein shake, and be involved.

WANNALISE - YOU ARE SO RIGHT! I DID TOTALLY ISOLATE MYSELF THIS WEEK AND I GUESS I AM JUST PROLONGING DEALING WITH THESE TYPES OF SITUATIONS. THANK SO MUCH FOR YOUR POST - YOU GAVE ME A LOT TO THINK ABOUT! I APPRECIATE IT!:wink0:

Thanks to everyone for your support. I really do appreciate it. I got several good tips that I am going to try out this week so thanks for understanding. Here's to a much better week!

VV2010

Just keep repeating to yourself

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

Plateaus or stalls are very normal and you can't even let yourself go to that place of getting down about it. Our bodies just freak out when it starts losing too quickly. Getting to goal takes a little longer for some people, but for the most part, if you're not grazing and eating junk food, goal is just a matter of time.

When you're on such a restrictive diet it seems like the weight should be falling off at the rate of 10 lbs. per week. But our metabolic rate and other things keep us from having those kinds of losses consistently every week.

But VV, you've lost 30 lbs.!!!!! That is absolutely fabulous. Do you know that's like losing a toddler? It's as if you were carrying around a little kid all the time - trying to function with a permanent kid hanging onto you. Just think how much better off your body is without that 30 pounds!

I too worry the most about my head. I've always used food in unhealthy ways. Like when I'm bored or unhappy or lonely or tired or for just about any emotion I ever had. But I have to tell you, the happiest I've ever felt in my life was when I was slender.

I felt so good about myself when I was able to wear cute clothes. It was great going places and having people treat me with respect, instead of going places and having people discriminate against me because I'm fat. Having people look me in the eye when they talk to me and smile, instead of people avoiding eye contact and not really listening when I talk.

I'm married but I would like for a nice looking guy to strike up a conversation with me and act like he would like to hear what I have to say. Instead of men looking right through me like I'm not there.

And most of all I want to have a normal blood pressure and not have to worry that I'm going to become a stage II diabetic like the rest of my family. And having energy instead of not being able to walk because my knees hurt so much...

Now if I can just remember these reasons for going through this surgery and learning a new way of dealing with food, I'll be one very happy person.

And that's what I wish for you. I'm sure that each day is a challenge for a while but when we're 6 months or so out from our sleeve date, and we've learned a lot more about how to live with our new stomach, everything will become easier and we will be happier and healthier and glad that we took charge of our lives instead of allowing food to be in charge of us.

I apologize for the length of this. I think I just made a pact with myself right here on this thread. And your posts have helped me do that. Thanks.

BJean,

I hear you about the looking right through you thing. A friend of mine who went through bypass said it was a strange experience becoming "visible". She said the men are nicer and the girls are meaner. HA

I to am single and I'm looking forward to having men express interest in me. Its not like I want to go wild, but I think my self esteem has prevented me from engaging in any type of real relationship.

I can't wait for the confidence that comes with being thin

Stacey

Stacey, I agree with you! I can't wait to regain my self confidence and I know that this is not a quick fix but already I am feeling better about myself and it is 3 weeks before surgery. I guess I just feel like I am FINALLY doing something that will help me get where I want to be and STAY there!