Need some support.....

[PurricanChick 0]

Hello everyone my name is Kat, I am 38 days pre-op. I will be having my Surgery in Colombia (South American) with Dr. Jorge Dias on Sept 16th. Frankly I am terrified. Ive read that I should be speaking to psychologists, and nutritionists, and doing all these things to prepare for the mental aspect of this lifestyle change Im about to have. Truth is... I dont have the money to really seek out all this professional help. My mother has basically scraped up every ounce of savings she had to give me this opportunity to have this surgery because Ive been so myserable with my weight for so long. Ive curved my habits in preparation for the surgery somewhat. In all honesty I was a habitual pot smoker (please dont judge me or hold it against me I just want to be honest here) for 10 years. Ive been clean 3 months and although thats something i cant share with my mom cause i was a closet smoker its quite the accomplishment for me. Cigarettes Ive cut down to maybe a pack a week... and my intentions are to quit cold turkey 30 days pre-op. Sodas are also a great addiction of mine. I've stopped keeping it in my home but again Its something I will attempt quitting cold turkey 30 days pre-op. I'm dreading the 10 day liquid preop diet but do understand the importance of slimming down the liver to reduce any complications that may occur during surgery due to the liver being fatty. I guess my questions are for people that may have done this procedure fairly winging it as I am. Is it really going to be mentally tormenting if I dont seek professional help. Someone even told me that there was this guy who had a weight loss surgery...and didnt seek professional help...and he commited suicide due to his depression about not being able to eat the way he use to before his surgery. That scares me. Im not a weak minded person, but like any addict I guess whether it be crack or pepsi and fried chicken one doesnt really feel the wrath of withdrawl until you are unable to attain that which makes you complacent. Thanks for any insite anyone may have.

[Malaika 50]

Welcome Chick ... I did not seek any professional help prior to my surgery nor did Bearded, my fiance who also posts on this site. It is hard work to make the sleeve work for you; however if you are able to give up pot, smoking and soft drinks, then I don't think you'll any trouble. Also, it's not that you won't ever be able to eat regular food - it's just that you can't eat nearly as much as you did before the surgery -- which is a good thing for those of us who have a food addiction. Do I miss food - sometimes. Have I ever considered suicide because of the loss? NEVER. I think you'll be fine if you realize that this is a TOOL to help you lose weight and get healthy and not the FIX that everyone looks for when we're overweight.

Welcome to the forums and if you have any questions please, please, please ask - someone will have an answer for you.

[*susan* 1,709]

Hi Kat, and welcome. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. None of us are here to judge, this is a support forum and that is what you will receive here.

First off, congratulations on being clean for three months, I know that took a lot of hard work and determination on your part. You should be very proud of all that you have accomplished already.

I also never received any professional counseling or anything else. It sounds like you know what you are going into and what the challenges are that lie ahead. What is important is to have some good support. It sounds like your mother is wonderful and very supportive of you, which will help immensely. This forum is also a great method of support, for many of our members, it is their sole means of support through this journey. You can come here and ask for advice, vent, make friends, give advice or anything else you need. We are all here for one another and nobody understands more about what you are going through than us, your fellow sleevers.

We look forward to taking this journey with you.

[kaykay 1]

I think many, many people on these forums have not have any formal psychological counseling prior to weight loss surgery and done just fine. I think the main thing is that you know what you're getting into and be convinced that you do indeed want the surgery. My husband's surgeon's "manual" for them says that people often have a form of "buyer's remorse a couple of months out from the surgery, but this usually passes as they adjust and things smooth out from the surgery.

[DownInSocal 12]

Welcome!

You have come along way. Give yourself some credit! I am one that has had, and still has, professional help but to be honest unless someone has gone through it, they don't get it. I think that is true with most situations in life. I get far more help from this site and others.

I quit smoking a year ago. I will not lie, I still want one sometimes but I promise you will stop thinking about them all the time, you can live without them, you will feel better. I never regret quitting. I just wish I would have done it earlier. That part I can speak about because I have been through it. I have not had surgery but I know you are going to do great. Stick around and keep us updated.

[Ky.hen 5]

Hi Kat,

Welcome to the forum. Don't feel bad about the past. You have learned from it and are moving on. Everyone has troubles that they have gone through so we all know where you are coming from.

I know what you mean about the Pepsi. I have been adicted to diet Pepsi for years. One to two 2liters a day. I quit in May. I was in a resturant last week and told my sister-in-law that I could probably put my mouth under the pepsi fountain and drink it dry. LOL keep us updated on your progress.

[Ruthi 60]

I didnt have counseling eiither, someone that commits suicide has more issues than just WLS but group support you get here will help. Good thing to stop smoking the POT, munchies are the very last thing you need after surgery. Cigarette smoking will delay healing so you really dont need that either. Best of luck to you. We are here when you need us.

[PurricanChick 0]

Wow thank you all for your support and great commentary.. Makes me feel better about the whole situation. I was obesityhelp.com and shared my story similar to the one I posted here...and just got a bunch of people telling me that I should get professional help....join a drug addiction program....consider NOT doing the surgery until I can take care of my other "issues". Not that pot is not an illegal drug but.... i wasn't like pawning my family heirlooms or smoking a crackpipe ya know...

The closer I get to the date the cold feet episodes I get, But I know I want this. Thank you all for ur support.

[*susan* 1,709]

I am sorry they gave you such a hard time at that other board. Here, we are more like family and truly here to offer support. When needed, we do give tough love. But from what you posted, you have already made great strides and have a firm grip on what you need to do. Now, you just need to know you have a place to go and get the support you need when you need it. Hopefully, you will find that here.

[Ruthi 60]

You will do fine and you will love it here. Like Susan said, we are more like a family and we are going to love having you part of it.

[DownInSocal 12]

Wow thank you all for your support and great commentary.. Makes me feel better about the whole situation. I was obesityhelp.com and shared my story similar to the one I posted here...and just got a bunch of people telling me that I should get professional help....join a drug addiction program....consider NOT doing the surgery until I can take care of my other "issues". Not that pot is not an illegal drug but.... i wasn't like pawning my family heirlooms or smoking a crackpipe ya know...

The closer I get to the date the cold feet episodes I get, But I know I want this. Thank you all for ur support.

As far as the pot issue goes. I don't think one needs a treatment program unless they can't stay away from it. You have been doing well it seems on your own. For some people it is just not that addictive. Something to do and have fun with and then they can stop. The lack of physical (brain chemistry changes) I think has a lot to do with it.

Besides like someone else said you don't need the munchies which I know come with it. I think a few of my excess lbs are because of........

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

You might want to try Narcotics Annon. meetings or Overeaters Annon meetings. I know people who have had great success with those programs and there is nothing better than a program that is free for extra support.

We certainly don't judge people here, and we are all very supportive of each other.

Some of us are in the chat room in the evenings. It's great to talk in real time and I hope you will join us.

Most of us are on Pacific time but you can let us know what time is good for you in your time zone if that does not work out for you.

Welcome to our board. You have come to the right place!

[MacMadame 81]

I did a lot of things to prepare pre-op that didn't cost any money.... for example:

-I started tracking my food intake in an online diary

-I practiced chewing my food slowly and more thoroughly (wished I'd done even more of that)

-I started taking the Vitamins I needed to take post-op

-I started drinking more Water

-I cut out carbonated beverages

-I started eating smaller portions

-I started eating more Protein

-I started exercising about a month pre-op (probably should have done that sooner and more often)

I also bought a book called The Food and Feelings Book by Karen Koenig. I think it's a good book for people who are emotional eaters, but it became clear from working through it that I wasn't so I never got very far. :biggrin:

I did have a pysch eval as that was required by my program. I thought it was fun and interesting, but essentially worthless. I also had a Nutritional Consult as that was required too. That was actually pretty helpful.

Both were paid for via insurance even though insurance would not pay for my surgery.

There is nothing wrong with getting counseling, if you need it. Some people do and there are a lot of free and low-cost options, particularly if your needs aren't heavy (i.e. you haven't got clinical depression, bi-polar disorder, etc.).

[I Can and I Will 29]

Welcome! I'm pretty new to this forum; however I have worked in the counseling field and you know we are all different. One of the things you'll find through some of this process is really to be honest with yourself. This is an "internal journey" (excuse the pun:tongue_smilie:)

Who do YOU want to be? Then BE:thumbup: I would suggest you begin there...journal it and then begin to allow the process to take place. May I suggest you pick up some reading on Grief (Kubler Ross) and go from there. Going through this change process is going to be grieving the "loss" of some things...take small steps and one day at a time.

I would also suggest begin incorporating healthy habits now versus going cold turkey. Set yourself up for success versus overwhelming yourself. Instead of going cold turkey on sodas...begin now with limiting # of sodas per day and begin exchanging drinking healthier liquids as this is going to be crucial for you....keeping hydrated. One thing I'm finding is that I never knew what a "sip" was. I grew up with a brother who taught me how to drink (gulp) and burp...LOL....this is one of my challenges so, I'm using all the crystal light flavors (lemon raspberry is my favorite so far) and mixing then freezing. In the morning, I take out my first of 4 bottles for the day and begin....as it melts, I sip what has melted and kind of nurse it through the day until I need to get another.

My last suggestion is when you are eating...be present. Be mindful of what you are eating. Taste the food....chew...chew....chew. Get creative and search for those things that work for you...

We all have things we do that are "addictive", bad for us etc...it's not all about others...it's all about YOU and YOU are the driver:001_smile:

okay...hope this wasn't preachy...LOL....you are going to do well and we are here...I'm glad you are going to share your journey with us...it will help me as well.

thank you for coming here!

[meowmeow 3]

I haven't done any pre-op nutrition, or psych support either. What I did do, was get on this FORUM and it's been a great help. Welcome and hope you use it to ease any anxieties you may have. Keep up the good work:thumbup: