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Some Good News, Some Not-So-Good News
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Well, Bad News First:
I just found out that I must have surgery for (benign) uterine fibroids. I'm devastated.
The surgery is in a few days. It's called a myomectomy - DON'T look it up online, I promise you the pictures alone will make you faint. :faint:It's scary.
First of all, I've never had any gynecological-related issue or procedure. Never an abnormal pap, no symptoms or irregular periods, nothing. When I go to my OB/Gyn, I just pop in for my well-woman exam and annual pap and go about my way. I'm on a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" basis with my uterus - I don't bother it, it doesn't bother me. :phanvan
So this is a HUGE deal for me. I've never been pregnant or had any gynecology procedures, so the thought of an OB/Gyn during surgery on me is hellish. The incision alone is horrible to think about - as if I don't have enough scars from my LapBand and surgeries. Most young, childless people don't quite have the incisions and scars that I do. My body is going to be so scarred up.
Plus unlike my LapBand surgery or Abdominoplasty, this is the first surgery I will ever have had - where I won't LOOK or FEEL better - after having it done.
Second, and more importantly, I'm depressed because for the surgery, they are going to 'open up' the abdominal muscles that I just had repaired during my abdominoplasty. I've only had a (flatter) stomach for a short time (not even 4 months) and now I'm in danger of going back to having a distended, pot belly. Even after surgery I was hardly six-packed but I had no "hang over" which thrilled me. I'm so afraid I'm going back to the bloating, swelling, and flabby look I had after surgery. After finally getting to wear some more contoured fashions this season, this seems REALLY unfair.
Now, I'm inconsolable. One of the first questions they ask you before an Abdominoplasty is "are you planning to have kids anytime soon" and I was like "HECK NO!" They ask because pregnancies, C-Sections, etc - can 'undo' the benefits of an abdominoplasty. Now I have to get my newly healed stomach muscles torn again, and I'll be back to not being to move around, drive or lift anything for months again. As a single person, being debilitated seems insurmountable.
I was so careful to schedule my abdominoplasty in the winter so I could enjoy my spring and summer. I dreamed of spending this summer in cute little outfits and enjoying travel and fun. Instead I'm facing surgery, slow recovery, and again wearing a freaking 'surgical binder' all summer. All this for a(n) uterus? Pffft.
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The Good News:
My new band doctor says he does NOT think I have to get an unfill before this surgery. After having to start over with a new surgeon, I'm just getting up to what I think is decent restriction (which for me as a 5-yr Bandster is just under 3.0 in my 4 cc band.) So I'm at like 2.7 or 2.8 now, and I've lost abnout 4.5# in the last month which is the first big loss I've had in SOOOO long. So I'm chipping away getting towards my goal weight, though I fear another surgery and recovery (and not being able to get around) will mean I'll gain this small loss back. Will I ever get it off?
Thanks for letting me vent.
Happy Band (and Life) Journeys To All.