I decided to tell a select few about me getting the band because I did not want to hear all of the negative comments because of their ignorance on how the band works etc. Well I made the mistake of telling a very good friend of over 25 years that i'm banded. We were both smaller together, now we are both overweight. Well she wont return my calls, and when I text her she either wont reply or she will make up an excuse that shes so busy and will call me back, but she never does. I guess I just have to let her deal with it and hopefully she will come around. I hate to see many years of friendship gone because of this personal choice I made to be healthy. Has anyone had a similar experience? And what did you do about it?

I decided to tell a select few about me getting the band because I did not want to hear all of the negative comments because of their ignorance on how the band works etc. Well I made the mistake of telling a very good friend of over 25 years that i'm banded. We were both smaller together' date=' now we are both overweight. Well she wont return my calls, and when I text her she either wont reply or she will make up an excuse that shes so busy and will call me back, but she never does. I guess I just have to let her deal with it and hopefully she will come around. I hate to see many years of friendship gone because of this personal choice I made to be healthy. Has anyone had a similar experience? And what did you do about it?[/quote']

Give her time she probably has a whirl wind of emotions. Try and put yourself in her shoes but don't give up hope she will come around and have lots of questions. Best wishes

You have to do what is best for you and hopefully she will come back around. Keep your focus and everything will work out for the best. Hugs!

I'm sorry but I don't think a true friend would treat u like that. I also know we all have that difficult friend that we tolerate more than we should. I am proud of u for taking that step to happier healthier life. If she can't accept that and support u then you may not need friends like that. ( :

back in the 90s, i joined a TOPS (take off pound sensibly WL support group--like WW but cheaper) and i met this gal named tracy. i loved her to pieces. she was alittle younger than me and a bit bigger but we decided we would do this together. so we called daily, did our food charts and walked when we could. well about 3 months later i had lost about 25 pounds and she was about 10 i think and she called me one day and said i cant be your friend no more (true story i swear) and i said why. she said because you are losing weight and i am not and i dont wanna hear it.

oh yeah, it hurt and it still does. i had never had that happen. but you know what...it is what it is. we can not control other people's thoughts/actions etc..that is them and that is you. you continue being you and getting healthy. if she wants to call you, she will. and if she doesnt, then she lost out on a very nice and sweet person.

I was truly worried about telling my best friend.. she does not have a weight issue but she can be very critical at times.. I thought oh boy she is gonna give me a lecture.. suprisingly she was 100% supportive.. came from Alabama to stay with me during surgery.. even spent the night in the hospital with me so my husband could go home.. However , I had made up my mind that even if she or anyone else didn't approve I was doing this for me and my health. friends are wonderful but if they don't understand or don't want to support you , you don't need them. She may come back around and realize that it is her problem, not yours.. take care and concentrate on you....

I think she is just feeling a little insecure. She probably thinks you won't have anything in common...like food if you lose all your weight. She will come around.

At my psych eval the psychologist told me that there would be people in my life, long-term and short-term, who were going to distance themselves from me. He said some would come back eventually and some wouldn't. He said if the surgery was something I really wanted I was going to have to accept the broken friendships that may come with it. Hopefully she just needs some time to digest your news and when see sees how well you are doing she will come back around. Keep up the good work!!

Did you tell her before or after you we're banded? If after, maybe she is just hurt that you didn't share with her before?

Did you tell her before or after you we're banded? If after, maybe she is just hurt that you didn't share with her before?

This was my exact thought. Otherwise, I find it hard to imagine that a supposedly good friend, would distance herself because I made a decision to improve my health.

I have some friends who supported me through Weight Watchers, Atkins, and other diets. They didn't have weight issues. In fact, they were runners and gym rats. So they wanted to support me. However, when I told them I was getting banded they ALL told me not to. I felt like they all got together at one point to do an intervention to tell me all the reasons why they thought I shouldn't do it. I have support in other people in my life and I think if she's been your friend for a long time she will come around. If for some reason she doesn't, as hard as it may be, you definitely don't want negativity while you're going through your journey. Best of luck to you!!

I to didnt tell many for the reasons I was afraid Id fail yet again at weight loss and didnt want people to laugh at me for going through all that goes with banding and not have lost.....

Now that I am at goal...I tell who ever ask how I did it....I dont care what they think now....and most now are happy for me...because they see how happy I am with myself ...Good Luck hun

Did you tell her before or after you we're banded? If after, maybe she is just hurt that you didn't share with her before?

Excellent point!!

Maybe a band journey together is something she would have enjoyed. Hard to say seeing she isn't talking to you.

On the flip side....the road of life goes in one direction. There is a start and an end and how much time we have in between is always an unknown. I got banded at 45 and wish I had just done it when I was 25 (not that bands have been around that long). I wasted a lot of my younger years severely obese and a short 10 years ago I thought surgery was taking the easy way out so I tried Atkins and was successful with it but couldn't stick with it (like any fad diet). Fast forward 8 years I had put all my weight back on plus an additional 90lbs.

Maybe at 46 years old it is easier for me to say goodbye to a friend over better health opportunities and hope of extending my travel on the road of life but I say if she doesn't talk to you again then all you can do is keeping moving forward. Do not let her lack of communication deter you from reaching your goals. If your friend cannot support you in this journey and is going to cause adverse affects then maybe you need to cut the ties move on without her.

Man, I wish I could introduce you all to my friends and family...I've got people cheering me on with Pom poems from pre surgery to every little ounce that is lost. Sorry about your friend. I've been fortunate enough not to encounter anything but support or just curiousity from everyone I know. Hang in there and do what is right for you. If she doesn't come around over something like this then I have to agree she's not much of a friend.

I am truly sorry you are going through this, when you could use her support. Who knows what her problem is, if she can't communicate it to you. So sad!

Like the old saying goes " if you love something, let it go. If it doesn't return, it never was"

continue on your journey and give her time, if she doesn't reach out to you, she wasn't a true blue, honest to goodness friend.

I hope she comes to her senses.

I have told my husband, mother and best friend- I am debating who else to tell. I think I will tell my sister and brother and a select group of friends from church. I figure it will get around, but that is not a concern of mine. I am not ashamed of it and figure if they are going to distance themselves from me then it is thier loss not mine. I look at as a true friend will support me no matter what and if they can't do that then I am better off without them bringing me down.