I decided to tell a select few about me getting the band because I did not want to hear all of the negative comments because of their ignorance on how the band works etc. Well I made the mistake of telling a very good friend of over 25 years that i'm banded. We were both smaller together, now we are both overweight. Well she wont return my calls, and when I text her she either wont reply or she will make up an excuse that shes so busy and will call me back, but she never does. I guess I just have to let her deal with it and hopefully she will come around. I hate to see many years of friendship gone because of this personal choice I made to be healthy. Has anyone had a similar experience? And what did you do about it?

Maybe some day your "friend" will come forth & discuss her feelings. But I agree with all of the above.......keep moving forward, and focus on the positive and ALL the people in your world that are supportive. I'm guessing there are more of them, then ones that snub you because of your choice to have WLS.

I've been pretty open with my friends on my surgery. I have one friend that I don't talk with often, but we've been friends since high school (40 years). On the next phone call to catch up, I don't think I will tell her. She tends to be pretty harsh when it comes to various things; things people struggle with. I'm afraid that she will have the "why couldn't you get your sh-t together without going to extremes" attitude. Well, I don't want to hear it! I have PLENTY of support from my immediate friends and family, and knowing who she is, I will avoid this little tidbit of info.

I am so sorry. Right now you need support more than ever and it is so hurtful not to get it from a close friend. I'm proud of you for making the decision to get healthier. Part of becoming healthier means leaving negativity behind even if it means losing a good friend (I've been there so I know easier said than done). Good luck to you and gravitate to those who bring you up!

Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement! Maybe my fault was not telling her til after my surgery, but my head was in a good place and I didn't want any negativity. I didn't even tell my own mother til after surgery. I didn't want a so called intervention the night before surgery. And I explained this to her. I'm just going to give her some space, like many of you have suggested, and continue on my road ro a healthier lifestyle.

back in the 90s' date=' i joined a TOPS (take off pound sensibly WL support group--like WW but cheaper) and i met this gal named tracy. i loved her to pieces. she was alittle younger than me and a bit bigger but we decided we would do this together. so we called daily, did our food charts and walked when we could. well about 3 months later i had lost about 25 pounds and she was about 10 i think and she called me one day and said i cant be your friend no more (true story i swear) and i said why. she said because you are losing weight and i am not and i dont wanna hear it.

oh yeah, it hurt and it still does. i had never had that happen. but you know what...it is what it is. we can not control other people's thoughts/actions etc..that is them and that is you. you continue being you and getting healthy. if she wants to call you, she will. and if she doesnt, then she lost out on a very nice and sweet person.[/quote']

How ironic, my friend, her name is Traci also. :-/

How ironic, my friend, her name is Traci also. :-/

oh no

Maybe she is less upset about you being banded, but maybe is upset because you kept it from her? I hope she comes around. :-(

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

I was worried about this because my best friend got lap band 2 years ago and hasn't lost any weight. I almost didn't tell her I was going to get it but decided that would bother her more when she found out later

I hate to sound rude but 25 years or not, if you bettering yourself is a reason for her to not support you perhaps you should question your friendship.!

Did you tell her before or after you we're banded? If after' date=' maybe she is just hurt that you didn't share with her before?[/quote']

It should not matter when you told your "friend" about the band. That decision was yours to make alone. A true friend would respect your choice to became healthy. Maybe your "friend is envious because you did something about your weight and she does not the courage, will or means to do the same. Please don't let this hinder your success. I am sorry this happened to you. At least you now know what kinda person she is. Don't let her issues become your issues.

Give her some time... You know it's funny, but I kinda know how she feels. My husband and I start eating healthy together and he loses so much more weight so much quicker. This got me so upset that I said, if your weight goes lower than mine, I will not stay married to you. Then it happened... Fortunately, he's way too great a guy to let go so that didn't happen - also, he said if that's the case, I'll go eat everything in sight for the next week until I'm more! I wouldn't do that to him, it was just upsetting when he passed me by and he doesn't have the band and he's a guy and supposed to be heavier! Just give her a little time, she probably thinks things are going to change and you're going to leave her behind. When she comes around, assure her that is not the case and things will go back to your regular relationship. Change isn't easy and this is no different. Good luck, by the way, it's an exciting journey!

I had only told a select few about deciding to do it. Most people know my personality and keep their negative comments to themselves (wise choice LOL). I'm glad I did it...I was 325 lbs. I've lost 75 lbs in a year and a half. Do what's best for YOUR health. I hope your friend comes around. Maybe she can get banded and that will bond you back together.