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What did you tell you family/friends?



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Hello everyone, I am wanting to keep my surgery on a real "need to know" basis. Has anyone else kept this a secret? What did you say you went into surgery for? Need help on what I can say that would be believable. Alot of people in my life are very against the idea of a lapband. They are also size 8 and never had to work out or diet in thier lives. Thanks!

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Well I made up nothing myself. I told everybody that I had to do something about my weight or I was gonna die very young like my momma did and after much research and my Dr.'s suggestion I was having lap band surgery. Now if you wanna keep it hidden You could say you are having hernia or gall bladder surgery. My incisions are almost identical to a friend that had gall bladder surgery. Now be aware many people that have lost a lot of weight do have to have gallbladder so you may want to keep that one.

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Funny I'm doing the same thing. My daughter is at college wasn't going to tell her but she's coming home this weekend and my surgery is in the morning. So I had to tell her. Not telling any family but my husband, he's taking me. Only my best friend knows.

I plan on just telling people I'm watching what I eat....not sure if that will work. My mom thinks I'm just n a liquid diet for a while.....

Good luck, let me know what you come up with.....

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I too wanted to keep it a secret, but some needed to know I was having surgery so I told them I was having a hiatal hernia repaired. It's in the same location and many times needs to be repaired at the same time. I did have one, so I didn't feel like I was lying. I've told a few more people than I planned, but selected only those who I knew would support me. Good luck!

Sent from my iPad using LapBandTalk

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Not comfortable telling anyone but my hubby at this point! You are not alone:)

Planning on telling people I lost weight thru diet & exercise, neither of which will be a lie!

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Thanks everyone for the responses! I am going to keep it to myself I think. Just me and my bf. more looking for a surgical procedure I could say I had that would fit the scars? Haha I work out a lot and diet so people will just think its finally worked!

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I'm keeping it to myself as we'll. I will only tell my mom because I have never had surgery before. Plus she is a praying woman so I know I need her there. I'm not telling her until close to my date because she won't understand. But my husband is in support 100percent. He wants to be at every dr appt. Sometimes the less people that know the less opinions they have. Then you have to watch out for the haters. The ones that will discourage you because they want you to stay fat. I'm planning my surgery during some vacation days and using gall bladder surgery as well..

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I am 5 months in and maybe 10 people know. Not that I am fighting to keep it a secret, but I just can't be bothered to explain the whole thing and have them watch me.

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I only told my mother and my best friend. I didn't say anything. I just took a couple of days out of work. Nobody even knows I went in for surgery. You dont have to lie about what your having, just don't say anything

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The truth! And why I chose the band. My life was at risk in the near future.

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I am 6 months out and have told no one besides for my mom and 3 sisters. I don't need anyone giving me a hard time. Most people do not understand what this surgery is all about and are just not accepting....

I am glad everyday that I made this choice :)

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i sooo wish i dint have such a big mouth. I have told maybe 10 people total (my mom, aunt, uncle, husbands family, and coworkers) and 2 of them are already on my nerves, not being supportive, and giving negative comments. Have I ever given them negative comments, no. So I truly, truly would encourage anyone that is on the fence about telling people DON'T DO IT. You might be surprised at who will not be supportive...

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Jen, I'm so sorry to hear that you're not getting support from some of the people who you have told. That must be so hurtful and irritating!

That was exactly what I was so afraid of.... My whole life I got no support from some of the people who should have really been supporting me. They chastised me about my weight since I was a little kid and now I have decided that I am NOT gonna deal with the negativity ANY longer, because quite frankly, it makes me way too miserable. Unfortunately MOST people do not understand how the band works and that 1) the weight comes off (very) slowly 2) it requires a TREMENDOUS AMOUNT of effort (and as I read these forums I see that even some fellow bandsters do not realize this) Because of this, I was afraid of being called "lazy" or "cheating" or "taking the easy way out".

Believe me, this is NOT the easy way out. I count every calorie that goes into my mouth, workout 5x a week and REALLY cut down on my portions (even though i'm not at restriction yet)

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Unless someone specifically comes out and asks you if you have had the lap band you are not lying to anyone. If someone comments on your weightloss and asks you how, hard work, watching what I eat and exercise, because that it the truth.

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I've decided the only way I'm going to be successful in the long run is if people understand why I'm going to refuse certain foods and order small meals at restaurants. I'm afraid if I go into this with a mindset of being ashamed it won't be long before I'm succumbing to some kind of temptation and justifying it to myself with the excuse of "I don't want people to suspect." As of right now if someone asks specifically why I'm going to miss a week of work when I never miss work I will say I'm having surgery if they ask what for I'll tell them the truth I'm getting lap band to treat my diabetes and high blood pressure.

I've always been a social eater and I'll admit I actually look forward to being able to respond when offered food "I can't have anymore, my stomach was altered and I'm full"

All that being said it was a personal choice I'd encourage you to do whatever you're confident will help you on your journey.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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