Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What did you tell you family/friends?



Recommended Posts

I was honest with my parents, sister, and boyfriend. They know my weight has been a huge issue for me over the years and they were really supportive. My mom actually said if she had known I was interested and they could have afforded it, they would have helped me do it sooner.

As for friends, I've only told 3 of them my plans, I wanted to feel out their opinions. All 3 were really great and supportive too, but I'm planning on just keeping it to those 3. I don't want a lot of people knowing because I don't think it's their business to know and I don't want to be treated differently if they knew that. I know a lot of people have the idea that WLS is a "cop out" or that I just didn't try hard enough to lose weight before, so I don't want to deal with all that drama and bs.

Basically my thinking is that if people are going to criticize you, are they really good friends? Your body, your decision and you don't need their negativity affecting what you are trying to decide. This is a life changing decision but it's your life. I only want supportive people with me on this journey.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have chosen to tell only a few family and 2 close friends. This is a private event for me and I don't want it advertised on Facebook which is what I know some friends would do....not to be mean but just because everything in their lives goes on FB.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am just starting my journey. In fact I am outside the clinic now waiting for my 2pm appointment. Once I have a surgery date I plan to be completely honest and tell anyone that inquires. I want to be an inspiration to anyone that has these struggles and I don't want to give anyone false hope that just diet and exercise is always enough because some people need additional help. Lap band is a tool and I am going to be proud to use the tool available to help me have a healthier life. People don't think twice about getting breast implants these days and that's all vanity...it's so sad the social stigma that comes with weight issues. I hope to be a "poster child" success story for Lapband! :) I wish everyone on this journey much success! We are in this together and only we can truly understand what this journey feels like.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FOr people who decided NOT to tell.... I am also not telling, my husband, BFF, and my aunt are the only ones. Everyone else I am telling that I am having hernia repair. The part I am worried about is eating socially? Does anyone notice, I mean how drastically does it change how you eat, chew, swallow etc....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am also in the beginning of the Lap Band journey. I too plan not to tell. My fiance' and wedding planner (who happens to be my co-worker and close friend) are the only people that know. I too have had fertility issues. So I plan to just say it's fertility-related, and it is. I have had several appointments and procedures related to fertility so it isn't far-fetched for me.

Seminar on Thursday...hoping to have surgery before June 30th, when insurance rolls over into a new year and doubles my out of pocket costs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FOr people who decided NOT to tell.... I am also not telling' date=' my husband, BFF, and my aunt are the only ones. Everyone else I am telling that I am having hernia repair. The part I am worried about is eating socially? Does anyone notice, I mean how drastically does it change how you eat, chew, swallow etc....[/quote']

Actually the changes in social eating were one of the reasons I decided not to keep it a secret. I realized if my friends know I've had my stomach surgically altered they'll ask fewer questions about why I'm eating so differently (they already get nutrition advice from me so I can't pretend I'm eating the way they should).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Telling people is not an option for me, especially where I work. I work for an alternative medicine center and they are NOT ok with this type of thing. Also some judgmental family that I know would just try to talk me out of it. I may decide to tell some people when its done BUT definitely not the people I work with/for. They are sweet but do every 100% naturally.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FOr people who decided NOT to tell.... I am also not telling' date=' my husband, BFF, and my aunt are the only ones. Everyone else I am telling that I am having hernia repair. The part I am worried about is eating socially? Does anyone notice, I mean how drastically does it change how you eat, chew, swallow etc....[/quote']

I haven't had any problems and I go out socially all the time. I focus on looking at the person in front of me and listening to what they are saying. No one even notices!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm keeping it to myself as we'll. I will only tell my mom because I have never had surgery before. Plus she is a praying woman so I know I need her there. I'm not telling her until close to my date because she won't understand. But my husband is in support 100percent. He wants to be at every dr appt. Sometimes the less people that know the less opinions they have. Then you have to watch out for the haters. The ones that will discourage you because they want you to stay fat. I'm planning my surgery during some vacation days and using gall bladder surgery as well..

Isn't that the truth? Others who could lose a few pounds (or more) are so threatened when we take action, whether it's a diet we can stick with or surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told my husband and kids, of course, my parents, two friends, and my boss. That's it. I have not told my in-laws, siblings, or anyone else. I may decide to tell them later, I may not, but I am pretty sure I will not be telling anyone else at all until after my surgery.

Just noticed your ticker says your surgery is today. Hope it goes/went well and you're feeling great!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello everyone, I am wanting to keep my surgery on a real "need to know" basis. Has anyone else kept this a secret? What did you say you went into surgery for? Need help on what I can say that would be believable. Alot of people in my life are very against the idea of a lapband. They are also size 8 and never had to work out or diet in thier lives. Thanks!

I agree with you that it is a need-to-know or who I want to tell deal. Geesh, we don't tell everyone every medical procedure we have, do we? This is no different. I shared this with two of my best friends who I knew would support me and two of my six children (so far). I haven't decided if I'll tell the others before or after surgery but, again, it's not important really. My husband is 100% behind me, "Whatever makes you happy." (I've trained him well!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess I should remove my ticker. I did not have surgery today, my surgery was postponed because I do not have enough platelets. Now, instead of being banded, I am undergoing blood tests and an ultrasound of my spleen. My hematologist has assured me that he will get me to where I can be banded, he just has not specified when. My thoughts and prayers are with all who are being or have been banded, please, if you would, pray me into surgery!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess I should remove my ticker. I did not have surgery today' date=' my surgery was postponed because I do not have enough platelets. Now, instead of being banded, I am undergoing blood tests and an ultrasound of my spleen. My hematologist has assured me that he will get me to where I can be banded, he just has not specified when. My thoughts and prayers are with all who are being or have been banded, please, if you would, pray me into surgery![/quote']

Hope you get better soon!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FOr people who decided NOT to tell.... I am also not telling' date=' my husband, BFF, and my aunt are the only ones. Everyone else I am telling that I am having hernia repair. The part I am worried about is eating socially? Does anyone notice, I mean how drastically does it change how you eat, chew, swallow etc....[/quote']

After my most recent fill, it's hard to hide how I'm eating in social situations. Taking super small and just a few bites is SO different from me ordering huge amounts of food like before banding. Also, my band is moody. Sometimes all is good and I can eat normally, but less. Other times my band has a mind of its own and sometimes even Soup is hard to eat! It's a learning process. It also depends on who I'm with. Work colleagues wouldn't think twice. My girl friends who also like to eat actually stopped me after dinner 1 night cuz they were concerned about the way I'm eating. So, just eating my lapband size food will freak some people out. But I just tell them I'm trying hard to get healthy. They're still used to seeing me eating the huge burger with fries. Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×