Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What did you tell you family/friends?



Recommended Posts

I was honest with my parents, sister, and boyfriend. They know my weight has been a huge issue for me over the years and they were really supportive. My mom actually said if she had known I was interested and they could have afforded it, they would have helped me do it sooner.

As for friends, I've only told 3 of them my plans, I wanted to feel out their opinions. All 3 were really great and supportive too, but I'm planning on just keeping it to those 3. I don't want a lot of people knowing because I don't think it's their business to know and I don't want to be treated differently if they knew that. I know a lot of people have the idea that WLS is a "cop out" or that I just didn't try hard enough to lose weight before, so I don't want to deal with all that drama and bs.

Basically my thinking is that if people are going to criticize you, are they really good friends? Your body, your decision and you don't need their negativity affecting what you are trying to decide. This is a life changing decision but it's your life. I only want supportive people with me on this journey.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have chosen to tell only a few family and 2 close friends. This is a private event for me and I don't want it advertised on Facebook which is what I know some friends would do....not to be mean but just because everything in their lives goes on FB.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am just starting my journey. In fact I am outside the clinic now waiting for my 2pm appointment. Once I have a surgery date I plan to be completely honest and tell anyone that inquires. I want to be an inspiration to anyone that has these struggles and I don't want to give anyone false hope that just diet and exercise is always enough because some people need additional help. Lap band is a tool and I am going to be proud to use the tool available to help me have a healthier life. People don't think twice about getting breast implants these days and that's all vanity...it's so sad the social stigma that comes with weight issues. I hope to be a "poster child" success story for Lapband! :) I wish everyone on this journey much success! We are in this together and only we can truly understand what this journey feels like.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FOr people who decided NOT to tell.... I am also not telling, my husband, BFF, and my aunt are the only ones. Everyone else I am telling that I am having hernia repair. The part I am worried about is eating socially? Does anyone notice, I mean how drastically does it change how you eat, chew, swallow etc....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am also in the beginning of the Lap Band journey. I too plan not to tell. My fiance' and wedding planner (who happens to be my co-worker and close friend) are the only people that know. I too have had fertility issues. So I plan to just say it's fertility-related, and it is. I have had several appointments and procedures related to fertility so it isn't far-fetched for me.

Seminar on Thursday...hoping to have surgery before June 30th, when insurance rolls over into a new year and doubles my out of pocket costs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FOr people who decided NOT to tell.... I am also not telling' date=' my husband, BFF, and my aunt are the only ones. Everyone else I am telling that I am having hernia repair. The part I am worried about is eating socially? Does anyone notice, I mean how drastically does it change how you eat, chew, swallow etc....[/quote']

Actually the changes in social eating were one of the reasons I decided not to keep it a secret. I realized if my friends know I've had my stomach surgically altered they'll ask fewer questions about why I'm eating so differently (they already get nutrition advice from me so I can't pretend I'm eating the way they should).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Telling people is not an option for me, especially where I work. I work for an alternative medicine center and they are NOT ok with this type of thing. Also some judgmental family that I know would just try to talk me out of it. I may decide to tell some people when its done BUT definitely not the people I work with/for. They are sweet but do every 100% naturally.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FOr people who decided NOT to tell.... I am also not telling' date=' my husband, BFF, and my aunt are the only ones. Everyone else I am telling that I am having hernia repair. The part I am worried about is eating socially? Does anyone notice, I mean how drastically does it change how you eat, chew, swallow etc....[/quote']

I haven't had any problems and I go out socially all the time. I focus on looking at the person in front of me and listening to what they are saying. No one even notices!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm keeping it to myself as we'll. I will only tell my mom because I have never had surgery before. Plus she is a praying woman so I know I need her there. I'm not telling her until close to my date because she won't understand. But my husband is in support 100percent. He wants to be at every dr appt. Sometimes the less people that know the less opinions they have. Then you have to watch out for the haters. The ones that will discourage you because they want you to stay fat. I'm planning my surgery during some vacation days and using gall bladder surgery as well..

Isn't that the truth? Others who could lose a few pounds (or more) are so threatened when we take action, whether it's a diet we can stick with or surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told my husband and kids, of course, my parents, two friends, and my boss. That's it. I have not told my in-laws, siblings, or anyone else. I may decide to tell them later, I may not, but I am pretty sure I will not be telling anyone else at all until after my surgery.

Just noticed your ticker says your surgery is today. Hope it goes/went well and you're feeling great!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello everyone, I am wanting to keep my surgery on a real "need to know" basis. Has anyone else kept this a secret? What did you say you went into surgery for? Need help on what I can say that would be believable. Alot of people in my life are very against the idea of a lapband. They are also size 8 and never had to work out or diet in thier lives. Thanks!

I agree with you that it is a need-to-know or who I want to tell deal. Geesh, we don't tell everyone every medical procedure we have, do we? This is no different. I shared this with two of my best friends who I knew would support me and two of my six children (so far). I haven't decided if I'll tell the others before or after surgery but, again, it's not important really. My husband is 100% behind me, "Whatever makes you happy." (I've trained him well!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess I should remove my ticker. I did not have surgery today, my surgery was postponed because I do not have enough platelets. Now, instead of being banded, I am undergoing blood tests and an ultrasound of my spleen. My hematologist has assured me that he will get me to where I can be banded, he just has not specified when. My thoughts and prayers are with all who are being or have been banded, please, if you would, pray me into surgery!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess I should remove my ticker. I did not have surgery today' date=' my surgery was postponed because I do not have enough platelets. Now, instead of being banded, I am undergoing blood tests and an ultrasound of my spleen. My hematologist has assured me that he will get me to where I can be banded, he just has not specified when. My thoughts and prayers are with all who are being or have been banded, please, if you would, pray me into surgery![/quote']

Hope you get better soon!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FOr people who decided NOT to tell.... I am also not telling' date=' my husband, BFF, and my aunt are the only ones. Everyone else I am telling that I am having hernia repair. The part I am worried about is eating socially? Does anyone notice, I mean how drastically does it change how you eat, chew, swallow etc....[/quote']

After my most recent fill, it's hard to hide how I'm eating in social situations. Taking super small and just a few bites is SO different from me ordering huge amounts of food like before banding. Also, my band is moody. Sometimes all is good and I can eat normally, but less. Other times my band has a mind of its own and sometimes even Soup is hard to eat! It's a learning process. It also depends on who I'm with. Work colleagues wouldn't think twice. My girl friends who also like to eat actually stopped me after dinner 1 night cuz they were concerned about the way I'm eating. So, just eating my lapband size food will freak some people out. But I just tell them I'm trying hard to get healthy. They're still used to seeing me eating the huge burger with fries. Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×