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In Need Of A Buddy, No Support At Home



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I am getting my band August 31, 2012 and it is a done deal, I was excited and now I have major doubts. It doesn’t help that my loved ones closest to me have the same doubts as I now do.

I have told two people my mom (just in passing so she doesn’t know I am doing it in 11 days) and my boyfriend. Both never had weight issues, super healthy and fitness freaks.

I have never really shared my weight struggles and agony with my boyfriend so he just thinks I haven’t tried hard enough, that I am quick to give up a lot. Maybe he is right and maybe this will not work and I will be out of a lot of money.

I am looking to not do this alone and have someone that understands weight gain and loss. Who understand why I am doing this and we can support each other to be successful.

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my surgery is aug 30 hang in there

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I understand what you are going thru. I was banded 12/09/11. When I initially told my mom and husband I was getting banded they both try to convince me that I was taking the easy way out and that I hadn't try hard enough to lose weight. My mother would call me every day with something new that I should try before going for the knife.

Now after 8 months post op and 55+ pounds lost I am so happy with the decision I took and glad I didn't let anyone keep me from persuing my goal of being healthy.

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we are all here for you hon, my close family doesn't struggle with weight but family I'm not close with does. People that have never truly struggled don't understand. they say they struggle but 5 -10 lbs. off/on within ideal weight is not struggling. this whole community is here to help you; but I will tell you you need someone to help you physically, you will be sore for a least the day of surgery, probably at least a week. So you need someone onboard. whether its your mom, bf, or your close girl friend.

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Count me in too! No one understands what you have been through more than yourself! I knew the minute my last diet failed that I wanted to be banded. Yes, most of my family tried to fight my decision, but in the end, they all realized I was doing it for ME. The band is only a tool to help us lose weight, but it is a powerful tool and I feel sure you will be super successful! Look how many folks you have supporting you now and that is just the beginning!!

Dennis

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I havent even told my live in bf that I am scheduled for next month.

It's a deeply personal issue for me since I have alway been the "fat friend" and dealt with teasing my entire life. My brother is 37 and will STILL call me "tub of lard" when he gets mad.

People keep telling me if I would just get a breast reduction I would be good to go. I want a lifestyle change... not a cosmetic one. BUT, bless their hearts my firends really don't see my size.

Just one reason I am so thankful to find this msg board with people who have been there and really "get it."

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Thank you to all of you. You have no idea how this has helped me.

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We are here for you, ill be ur buddy!! i went through the same stuff before i had surgery banded july 23, and my family ( in laws) were the same way and it didnt help that bothe my sister in laws are RN and telling me all the scary stuff with going under and that there other methods out there and one of them even got me some weight loss pills to steer me away from being under the knife and she is much older than me and she thinks she is a dr. so that hurt and did put stress on me, but i followed my heart and reminde myself that this was for me and if they couldent support my descion then i didnt want the advice even harder to disregard there opinions... Stick with what makes u feel happy and what will help u!!! Im glad i found this site i have felt so much better abt my desion because IT WAS MY DESION not THEIRS!!! JUSt LIKE IT YOURS!!! Good Luck and God Bless!!

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I havent even told my live in bf that I am scheduled for next month.

It's a deeply personal issue for me since I have alway been the "fat friend" and dealt with teasing my entire life. My brother is 37 and will STILL call me "tub of lard" when he gets mad.

People keep telling me if I would just get a breast reduction I would be good to go. I want a lifestyle change... not a cosmetic one. BUT, bless their hearts my firends really don't see my size.

Just one reason I am so thankful to find this msg board with people who have been there and really "get it."

I am the fat friend too. Hoepfully no longer.

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Count me in too! No one understands what you have been through more than yourself! I knew the minute my last diet failed that I wanted to be banded. Yes, most of my family tried to fight my decision, but in the end, they all realized I was doing it for ME. The band is only a tool to help us lose weight, but it is a powerful tool and I feel sure you will be super successful! Look how many folks you have supporting you now and that is just the beginning!!

Dennis

Thank you.

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You will have lots of buddies on here. Friend me if you like. I am always willing to talk and offer support. I have support buddies I email a lot for help and encouragment. Always nice to talk to someone who understands what you are going through.

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we are all here for you hon, my close family doesn't struggle with weight but family I'm not close with does. People that have never truly struggled don't understand. they say they struggle but 5 -10 lbs. off/on within ideal weight is not struggling. this whole community is here to help you; but I will tell you you need someone to help you physically, you will be sore for a least the day of surgery, probably at least a week. So you need someone onboard. whether its your mom, bf, or your close girl friend.

I new it almost would be useless telling my boyfriend same reason, he never struggled with weight and to boot he works out really hard. I had to tell him becuase he will be picking me up and helping me through recovery he knows I am strong willed and i am doing this it is just easier when those close to you believe it to be true as well. But I can apprecite it must be a hard concept to grasp when all you need to do it work out and not worry about food. I relized i will just have to rely on all of you for the supoort and i thank you for giving it to me.

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Hi miss e,

I'm in the same boat with you. Would love to share the experience. I just started the process some info makes me ready and some info makes me scared to death. Especially the sneezing part. I have chose to go it alone and not tell anyone except my husband. This in itself I think would be feat. But give me a shout out if your interested in being buddies. Daisy

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Hang in there remember you are doing this for YOU not for your family or friends. I can't tell you after being banded on 12/13/11 and being down over 70 pounds in 9 months and still no fill how I love this band. I had health issues and now they are all dissappearing. I flew earlier this month for the first time since surgery and I can't tell you what it was like to fit in the seat and not have a seat belt extension. There are alot of rewards and there are tough times too. That is when you rely on the people on this site. We are all here to share the ups and downs and give you great advise and honest words. Hang in there and visit this site often because people who have never had a weight probem don't get it like we all do. Don't ever let them try and tell you that this is a easy way out because they have never walked in your shoes or ours. Surgery is not too bad you will have some pain just make sure you follow your Dortors plan and don't try and rushthe healing process. You can do this and feel free to e-mail me anytime for morale support we are all here for you. Please post after surgery so we know how you are. Good luck :D

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I just wanted to update everyone I had the surgery on Friday everything went well. I was pretty useless for a few days can't bend over, get up and down as I wanted too and I really could have done it without my boyfriend. I am not sure how anyone does recovery alone. I will tell you he was great completely above and beyond stepped up to the plate. He is very active in it read what needed to be read and making sure I am doing all the right stuff. I think or hope with time and losing weight he will see it was the right choice.

Thanks to all of you being there when I needed someone.

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