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Boyfriend Totally Against Me Getting Lap Band

My boyfriend and I fight over this surgery he calls it my stupid surgery he think I am crazy for even wanting it done. I try to tell him how unhappy I am about myself he said.it does not bother him that I look just fine , but I think differnt I have no confident and I'm so unhappy he just don't understand and.it really hurts me.and my feeling , do you think I'm being mean about it , FYI I do appreciate he like me for who I am

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Yeah, what Fallon said. Skinny sex is AWESOME.

Thinking about becoming a NUDIST since I've lost the weight. Lol.

Lol! I remember being a small child and overhearing my step mom trying to convince my dad to go to a nudist camp. The thought scarred me for a while! Now, who knows, once I shed this weight maybe I'll be the one convincing the boyfriend to go! Haha

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using LapBandTalk

Been there, done that. Lol. Talk about total freedom.

  • Author

Fallon I don't think I have told him how much better our sex will be but I will do that tonight we have good sex now but I am limited to what I can and want to do tmi I know but I want to be able to give him the best and here lately I don't even want to have sex cause.I'm thinking of what I look like and what he thinks of me :( he says he thinks.I'm sexy but I don't and he just don't understand that

I'm the same way! Our sex is great, but it could be much better! Can't wait! LOL!

@Jeff, good for you! Haha.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using LapBandTalk

  • Author

Fallon me eaither :) when is your surgery date

I'm not sure yet. They're calling me back tomorrow!

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using LapBandTalk

  • Author

I hope that's when I hear from mine keep me updated :)

Ms. 1990,

I'm glad & proud you want to get the lapband... I personally think your bf doesn't want you being skinny. I'm sure he feels he has the power in the relationship bcuz once arguments happens, he can always use the fact that you're overweight as a bad thing to hurt your feelings.

If you lose weight, you can confidence, feel better about yourself & won't tolerate his BS.

Is he a big guy?

He probably won't be able to handle you looking great! Scared a nicer guy will win your heart. He's human & its normal to feel jealous BUT that's the last thing he should be concern about....

He should be concern about your health & trust you that you will be loyal to him.

I'm blessed that my boyfriend was very supportive about me getting banded & stood by my side & came to my doctor appointments with me...

But if he was against it, I would of left him... Getting the band is something we all did to better ourselves & our health... It's not so I can go look for another boyfriend..

Sorry I made this so long but my point is.... If the lapband is something you want to do, then that's what you should do..

Who cares if the whole world is against you... You have to put yourself first.. DO THIS!! You will be healthier & happier!! :-)

I've also had some issues with the BF who didn't want me to have the surgery, but his only reason was 'you look fine the way you are' totally ignoring the reasons I was doing this for my health and to prevent the weight creeping back even higher. That really pissed me off the lack of listening to why I wanted it and him feeling that his one comment would put it out of my mind.

But as a string willed person, had the surgery anyway!

The other aspects I've found the partner has had to endure post surgery was:

-i did have to put the sex life on hold for a week or two, I was just tired, feeling a little odd and also found some positions I felt a little crushed. I'd copped a few snarly comments but that's since passed.

- Going out dinner or drinks, I've still been fairly social and can typically find something on a menu to eat. BF has commented I make him feel like a pig, when he's having 3 courses and I'm just having a single dish or he wants takeaway and I'm happy with a tin Soup. Hes been more uncomfortable when its his friends or family vs mine around, prob due him feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable, for the most part they have no idea, I've just said I've had a big meal prior or on a diet. I have cut back on the drinks, usually having no more than 3 glasses of wine over the whole night, and I've not been as much 'fun' as the former me according to the BF. Not sure if he's suggesting drunk me was more fun than happy, healthier me whose also sober enough to drive home. Added bonus should be I'm now a cheap date :)

- lastly I've lost 13kg of the goal 30kgs to date, which he's commented a few times, 'your not going to lose any more are you'. I remind him again of what the goal and overall aim is, plus asking what behavior is it that he thinks will stop if I'm not focused on losing weight? The healthy eating, exercising part is now part of the rest of my life (which should have been there already!)

P.S Dr O'brien also has a DVD, which is split in sections on you tube. That may help him understand what life with the band is like vs reading the book.

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author

I got approved I will be having surgery 10/3 I'm sooooo happy I can't wait :) :)

My boyfriend and I fight over this surgery he calls it my stupid surgery he think I am crazy for even wanting it done. I try to tell him how unhappy I am about myself he said.it does not bother him that I look just fine ' date=' but I think differnt I have no confident and I'm so unhappy he just don't understand and.it really hurts me.and my feeling , do you think I'm being mean about it , FYI I do appreciate he like me for who I am[/quote']

Don't do anything for anybody but yourself, specifically this surgery. It takes the support of someone who really cares about YOU. My husband of 47 years was skeptical at first, but after two seminars and lots of questions and Internet searches, he is my biggest supporter. I'm two months post op and losing very slowly. It is Not a magic overnight solution. I lost half mt weight on the two week preop diet, which is Atkins in a nut shell. Good luck!

  • Author

Angelizz you did the adkins diet , when did you do have your surgery I start my diet today not sure what all I can have or not have

Angelizz you did the adkins diet ' date=' when did you do have your surgery I start my diet today not sure what all I can have or not have[/quote']

I had to do Atkins for two weeks prior to surgery on July 25th. I lost 9 Lbs on Atkins. Look online for any low-carb diet ...they are all the same. I have only lost 8 LBS. since surgery. I have had one very small fill of .05cc because we are going on a Med cruise for 2 weeks and my Dr. Didn't want me to have any problems overseas. I truthfully don't know if the band will work. I am exercising and eating exactly like I should, BUT I am on several medications for heart (a-fib) that I can NOT ever go off of. Many, many meds "cause weight gain" and I am on one of them. How does your boyfriend feel about your surgery now?

  • Author

Angelizz he is supporting me now he is ready for me too feel good about myself and to be me again

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