I have an ex-boyfriend that I have remained friends with for the last 8 years, and thats all we are...FRIENDS. Not too long ago (a couple weeks maybe) I informed him of my decision to get banded. Well apparently his baby momma (they have been together for 2 years now) recently got a hold of his phone and sent me a text that said "Lap band huh? Tired of being fat?" which he quickly apologized for and said that they were fighting and she grabbed his phone....basically a bunch of drama. I know I shouldn't let her get to me as my decision to get banded is for my own benefit/health and no one else's, but for some reason her words hurt me. I'm guessing she must feel threatened by the friendship he and I share but that (to me anyways) is no reason to be cruel. I guess I could understand if she had something to worry about but she doesn't. I don't even know why I'm posting this, other then I'm immensely hurt by her words. Oh well, I guess it's just the first of many jealousy things people will throw my way once they see my success after I'm banded.

Clearly for whatever reason she is threatened by your relationship with your ex. Maybe he talks about you a lot or you two gel in a way those two never have.... whatever. People who are insecure need to make other people feel "less" about themselves. She obviously went for the jugular with you b/c she knew it would hurt. It was childish and insensitive of her. Cruel is a perfect word.

Just try to rise above her petty BS and remember... you are taking real steps to improve yourself. Addressing your weight is way better "fix" than if you had to fix her problem... a lack of compassion with an overflow of evil.

Keep your head up. She obviously is feeling threatened. And more than likely she is jealous of you too. Seems to me that she is trying to make herself feel better by putting you down. So pathetic. Put her words behind you and think of how good you will feel and look in a few months and kill her with kindness..... maybe that will get under her skin! LOL

Best of luck to you.

Cruel yes. Hurtful yes. Mean spirited yes. BUT common lets all admit it yes we get the band for better health to be off of meds to be physical BUT also BECAUSE WE ARE TIRED OF BEING FAT ! Now atleast we have a surgery for that but really what type of surgery is there for a wretched disposition do not let it matter to you what mean people say. Start your journey you will be better for it.

don't let her get to you

she's obviously threatened by you. Rise above it by being kind to her and ignoring her insults/jabs.

Your kindness will drive her MAD lol!!

Thank you ladies for reaffirming what I figured was already true, something is lacking in her life or shes just so full of hate that shes trying her best to spread it around. On the bright side I have my first appointment with the WLS surgeon on September 6th :-) I can hardly wait!

Just a quick after thought....Bryce, my ex, is attracted to heavy women so I mean really, lol, my having the surgery should help ease her mind! Not make her hate me or jealous in any way (btw she too is heavy so seriously not sure where she gets off being like this towards me but whatever. I'll just dust my shoulders off and stay my happy, bubbly, positive self).

You know, I figured the current gf was overweight. There's always an underlying reason people are threatened by our success. Pray for her, move on, and focus on you.

Beware, she'll really be jealous after you lose the weight. HAHA!

Girl I understand...my ex gf got on the phone n called me obesr...n she is fat too...needless to say I started my band journey the next day...I cant wait til I can rub my new healthy Wt in her face....don't let her get to u...son u will have the last laugh

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Beware, she'll really be jealous after you lose the weight. HAHA!

You know, I figured the current gf was overweight. There's always an underlying reason people are threatened by our success. Pray for her, move on, and focus on you.

Wow you guys, you're both so very right. She will be jealous of me (without that even being a thought of mine) because I'm pretty as a thick chick so I can only imagine I would be model beautiful once the weight is gone lol I'm just kidding, but seriously I bet I enjoy looking in a mirror when everything is said and done. Telling someone you will pray for them can really get under their skin lol so thanks for the advice! I do just need to continue to focus on me and becoming the beautiful swan that's hiding in this duckling body. Honestly though it will never be my intention to make someone feel bad about their body once I transform in to my new one. When I say I'm doing this for me I'm not lying, there is no hidden agenda. I so desperately want to play with my children (more than sitting on my butt and talking for a barbie doll) and it would mean a lot to me if my current boyfriend of 6 years (and the father of my three children) could pick me up and carry me over the thresh hold on our wedding day (not that we have a date set or anything but some day I'm confident we will make that transition....assuming he doesn't leave me because I get too skinny for him, lol, thats a whole different topic he and I have often discussed. My ultimate goal is 125lbs since I'm only 5'3" but he claims if I get below 140lbs he'd leave me....which is just hilarious because he himself is lucky to be 140! LOL, wow I just noticed a pattern, I tend to go for chubby chasers, HA!), and I just had my 2nd reconstructive ankle surgery back in April and all this stress on my joints is horrible. If for no other reason than my ankle alone I NEED to get this weight off of me!

Well another thought is that she might want to have the surgery herself. They might have been in a fight, she might have been feeling bad about herself and wanted to ask you about it.

He might have stopped the conversation because of the fight, thinking it would go south fast.

One never knows but she might just reach out to you sooner or later and get your guidance for her weight issue.

He might also want to keep her a bit on the insecure side as well. Relationships can change dynamics with the different players. He might toss things out about you too, and put her on edge when the reality of it is that it is not needed.

Sometimes, not is all is what it appears to be.

Its hard to not let people get to you and its easy to say just ignore them but i went through the same thing. Not with a boyfriend or anything but with co-workers. But we will show them when we start losing weight and getting thiner and thiner!