Hello everyone!

I'm new to posting here on the forum but have been checking it out for over a year. I am currently in my fourth month out of six for nutrition counseling, which my insurance requires to cover the band.

I am hoping to get my band by the end of the year, and as I get closer to the surgery I'm getting nervous... for obvious reasons, but also because I will have to tell my co-workers that I will be out of work for surgery! I really just want to tell them, "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" but I probably shouldn't do that I'm not necessarily ashamed of getting WLS, but I just don't want to inevitably answer to them about the where/when/why's that they will have. I've always been a private person, especially about such sensitive issues, so I'm dreading having to deal with this in addition to all the things I actually need to focus on.

Anyone have any suggestions or stories about a similar situation?

Miss Cat

I've told some and some I haven't. I have been vigorously eating healthy and exercising since march and have lost 18 lbs. surgery is August 15.

I've had support from some and other give me the "Why? Your not THAT big!" I'm so over people's opinions. That Ive stopped telling people. Its my decision , I've made it, I'll deal with it. It had nothing to do with them. Period.

I'm doing this for me, my health and my family. They're all that counts. Once I realized I love myself and the rest will fall in place- I've felt wonderful:))good luck to you.

I told next to no one the specifics of my surgery. I told my work I was having surgery and left it at that. For people who asked what I had surgery on, I said my stomach and no one pushed any further! I chose to keep it private because I didn't want to hear anyone's opinions. I didn't want people to ask me how things were going, because if they weren't going well I knew I wouldn't want to talk about it! I didn't want people talking about me and my decision to have surgery and my successes/failures behind my back. I had the surgery for me and it was no one else's business! Once my weight loss became noticeable, people began asking how I was doing it, and mostly I would say small portions, high protein, low sugar and exercise! Now that I have been quite successful, I'm more comfortable with sharing, but I am glad that I kept it so private in the early days!

I am the same, I am self employed so when I left I told my assistant what I was doing, but that was it. I was only gone three days, and came back to work on day 4, (which I think you should take more time if you can).

I told some friends, and I was always disappointed that they didn't care about my privacy. They said they won't say anything, but they of course, tell their husbands, sisters, mothers, and swear them to privacy too. And we all know how well that works. I sat at dinner with a friend and her mother, and her mother kept STARING at me, and finally she said, well I am just trying to figure out how your band thing works. I was HUMILIATED..

After i lost 100 pounds, I was literally cornered by some women that I knew at a business event asking me how I did it. I said extremely restricted potion size, calories counting, and exercise, which literally is what I am doing, but one lady said, I don't believe it, tell us! It was like a sitcom. I lived in a very small gossipy town. LOL Really it reminded me of being the fat kid in high school again when one of the most popular things was to ask me how much I weighed....

I have since moved. Not for that reason, but that part is a huge relief. My reasons for not telling is yes, I was ashamed that I had let myself get that big, and ashamed that I need something like surgery to control it, and terrified that it wouldn't work. That is just me. It's a personal decision.

BTW, I have been considering revising my band to a gastric sleeve, and was going through the same process in my head again. If I do this, if I have to tell anyone, which would only be a select few, that I am having gall bladder surgery. It's a simple short operation... it's a little white lie, but I don't want to have to go through the social issue again. I have anxiety issues, it's my body nobody needs to know.

BTW' date=' I have been considering revising my band to a gastric sleeve, and was going through the same process in my head again. If I do this, if I have to tell anyone, which would only be a select few, that I am having gall bladder surgery. It's a simple short operation... it's a little white lie, but I don't want to have to go through the social issue again. I have anxiety issues, it's my body nobody needs to know.[/quote']

Why are you thinking about the sleeve? My boss did it and she is doing great. It seems very similar to the band process.

Well from what I have been reading people are supposed to be having a lot of success with it. i have been banded since 2006 and have lost over 100 pounds, then started gaining back after a health crisis and being at the wrong fill level for a long time. I feel like because I had so much to lose, and still do have to lose, that the sleeve might be a better choice for me. I chose the band strictly because I was self pay and had it done in Mexico and it was affordable. From what I am reading the sleeve can be more effective than the band for some people. Just looking at options as I never reached my goal, and am somewhat frustrated and discouraged right now.

I have one friend who also had it done and my husband that is it, who knows, oh and my boss, but he gets all flustered and shy so I am safe..but for me, like you I am a private person, and I dont want to share some of this, its my personal journey, and always will be..

good luck!

Wow I'm so glad I stumbled into this thread. I have been debating telling anyone about this decision. Truthfully, most people I know do not understand WLS surgery. They do not understand that it's JUST A TOOL. They think it's magic, and i'm scared that when I don't lose weight fast they will look at me as a complete failure. I understand the work that comes with losing weight with the band. I understand that the weight comes off (sometimes painfully) slowly. I understand that it's not a miracle cure for obesity. My friends/family unfortunately do not understand. Case in point: My mom went with me to my final doc appointment before surgery and he explained that in the beginning i probably won't lose much weight until i heal and am properly adjusted. As we left the office my mom whispered "he's just trying to downplay the weight loss. I know you're gonna lose 50 lbs before october"

WTF!!!

My dad is the same way. He keeps saying I will loose 100 lbs in 8 months. These people are dreaming. For this reason I know that no matter what I accomplish I will look like a failure in their eyes because i'm (fairly) certain that I will never live up to their expectations. That's why the less people that know the better. I can't be a failure to my friends too

yes it's very sad that I won't be getting proper support from my parents but I guess i'll just have to be strong and never feel like a complete failure

I told my job that I was going in for same day surgery to have a hernia repaired. I feel exactly as you do. It's no ones business until you want to make it their business. Good luck and don't be nervous, it's a piece of cake!!