We need a place where we can support each other through our "more than most" journey. Just as turtles don't get much out of hearing us talking about fast we're losing, maybe it would give us a nice break from "I'm getting banded because I need to lose 60 lbs".

I think we have our own unique challenges, expectations, baggage, etc. -- and we need our own little niche to support eachother. We all have a very long journey ahead of us, and need to band together.

Good morning everyone. I was just reading back after a month of not checking in. The stories that really caught my eye were the ones about being called "fat" or just plain honesty.

I took a long look at myself a long time ago when my daughter started going to preschool and coming home crying because the kids were telling her that her mom was fat and teasing her for it. I was devastated at first. I was angry. I took a stand. I went to the school and talked to the teacher and let the teacher talk to the children in a big group. I felt better. My daughter wasn't teased after that, but when it does happen, she sticks up for me. I have taught my daughters about differences in people and how it isn't nice to point them out. I have taught my daughters that you love people for who they are, not what they look like or the lifestyle they choose to live. Every person out there has feelings and they get hurt.

One proud moment in my life as a parent was this.......My daughter was having a birthday party and she wanted to invite friends over for a slumber party. I agreed. She made all of the invitations to the slumber party herself. I allowed her a certain number of friends to invite. She made out invitations for 10 girls. Out of the 10 invitations she only had 3 girls that came to the party. The reason the other 7 girls gave her for not coming was a girl named Sage was invited and she was fat and didn't know why Brittany would invite her. They told her they would come if Brittany would tell Sage she couldn't come. Brittany looked at these girls and told them she wouldn't hurt her friend because they didn't like her. If they wanted to come and if they were her real friends, they would come, if not, oh well.

I was so proud of my daughter. She doesn't look at people for their differences, she gives everyone a chance to be her friend. She is a beautiful person. I love her dearly. My girls are the first to stick up for me when someone says something that might her my feelings. I let them know that it isn't a big deal and that it only hurts if you let it.

It did take a long time for these things not to hurt me, but I just look at it as...this is the way they were brought up, I have done differently with my children. If you know you have done right by your own children, that is all that matters.

Erin

Hey that was a really great story. It makes me glad to know ladies like you raise their children that way. We need more people like this.

I am at 376 and have been using a trainer for about a month If he tells me to go on a machine that I know I cant do I just tell him and he adjusts my work out to be on another machine. I do a lot of walking and weights for upper body strength training. I have big legs and my trainer told me he didnt want to build up my legs any more and walking or riding a bike would be good enough for keeping them in shape.

I am still pre band and just by working out I have lost 10 lbs. I can even make a muscle and tell I have one. It makes me so happy

Thank you so much. I wish people would raise their children with good values. I remember being teased in school and not knowing what to do but cry. I ended up extremely shy and kept to myself. I wasn't even fat, it was the fact that I developed at an early age. Everyone saw that as me being fat, so I saw myself that way.

Hi Shelli,

First I asked around to get a personal reference for a trainer. My chiropractor, whom I trust, recommended this guy. This was after I explained that I feel uncomfortable in a "gym" atmosphere (which I have currently overcome). I went by and chatted with this trainer and explained what I was doing (lap band) and then had to explain how it was different from gastric bypass. We chatted and he said he would like me to come back for a free session. After surgery, I asked my surgeon if it was okay to get into this and he approved. This gave me the go ahead and at about six weeks post surgery I had my evaluation session. This session was free (that made me feel better...I like try it before you buy it) and gave him the opportunity to evaluate my physicality. He did not push me too hard, just wanted to see what I could do. My thought is that he managed it perfectly.

Personal recommendation, free first session for both of us to evaluate the other, now he pushes me and is VERY carful not to injure me (that could undue all the good done). He took my measurements, he records my weight and set my goals (every 15 lbs we retake measurements). He comes up with the routines. After just three sessions I trust him to have my best interests at heart. At our second session I told him my weight, huge amount of trust.

I will caveat that I am very lucky that my trainer is a competive weight lifter, not just a presonal trainer. His approach is no nonsense and I like that. He does not have positive things to say about the trainers at places like 24 hour fitness (although his is a fan of Jillian from the Biggest Loser). He thinks their approach is not assertive enough and the fact that they have to pimp product and services clouds thier ability to train effectivly.

I digress, don't I...apologizes for that. Do I think you can benefit from a personal trainer? Yes, when you find one that is a good fit. Get a personal recommendation. One that is affordable. They should make the time to talk with you and understand your situation (lap band and fitness level). I think giving you a free session it a must. Then decide if they are right for you...can you trust them? You are the paying client, you deserve someone who can figure out how to work with you and motivate you to your full potential.

Thats my two-cents.

Happy banding,

MMT

Thank you so much. I wish people would raise their children with good values. I remember being teased in school and not knowing what to do but cry. I ended up extremely shy and kept to myself. I wasn't even fat, it was the fact that I developed at an early age. Everyone saw that as me being fat, so I saw myself that way.

Yeah i know what you mean. i got teased and i think it made me extremely shy and gave me feelings of unworthyness which i still struggle with today sometimes.

Erin, I'm sure your daughters are as proud of you as you are of them. :-)

I found a great trainer also, who use to be a weight lifter. Pushes me and for an old lady lol I do really well. These no nonsense trainers are the best for me. Great results also! If you can afford them, I highly recommend them.

mmcbelle,

thank you for all your advice and wisdom on your personal trainer experience. I will heed your advice and see if I can find someone who can recommend someone. I hope I can find someone as competent and caring as your trainer sounds.

thank you and good luck on your new adventure.

shelli

In light of recent posts, was crossing the road today at some traffic lights while a car full of teenage boys waited. One of them yelled out 'Hey sexy!' and I turned and looked at them and said, "You know it." They laughed but I copped no further abuse. I didn't walk away annoyed either. It was a little bit funny.

Lol. Insub!!! Thats awesome!!

Thank you so much for starting this thread. I must admit I have felt at times like maybe I was in the wrong place on this site. I am pre op and have over 150 lbs. to lose. Reading the amazing stories of everyones journey really inspires me and makes me feel I am in the right place. I am now waiting for a surgery date and my Doc says 2-3 months. I admit I am very excited to start the journey but also very afraid of failure.

I admit I am very excited to start the journey but also very afraid of failure.

BarBee, I feel the same way. I am excited but I don't know what I will do if it fails. I feel like this is my last chance. I take comfort in reading all of the success stories on this board and I soon feel better. If you are feeling doubtful, just read some stories and you will feel better. Promise!

I am glad that this thread has been made. I am about 330lbs and have almost 200lbs to lose. Just know that we are all in this together and we are all here to support each other!

Thanks Michiganer. It is such a comfort to know that we are not alone in all of this.

Thank you so much for starting this thread. I must admit I have felt at times like maybe I was in the wrong place on this site. I am pre op and have over 150 lbs. to lose. Reading the amazing stories of everyones journey really inspires me and makes me feel I am in the right place. I am now waiting for a surgery date and my Doc says 2-3 months. I admit I am very excited to start the journey but also very afraid of failure.

BarBee, I feel the same way. I am excited but I don't know what I will do if it fails. I feel like this is my last chance. I take comfort in reading all of the success stories on this board and I soon feel better. If you are feeling doubtful, just read some stories and you will feel better. Promise!

BarbBee - I know how you feel , oh how I know. You are the first person to say what I have been trying to but afraid to say since I made the decision to go through with this surgery. I am so very afraid of failure.

Michiganer - I find this site to be the only comfort I have. Even though I have family that backs me it's not the same when they are not going through this journey like me. And for my best girl friends they are all here for me but still the same feelings. My best guy friend is there to back me but at the same time really wants me to "lose it on my own" not with he surgery. So I find great peace when I come here to read others' stories.

i recently had to go back to liquids for two weeks because my band was too tight. Today i had permission from dr to start soups and soft foods and i started the day out okay but as of a few hours ago ive completely blown it.

Im also on and off days. ill work out one day, be all on track with my food, feeling good and getting things done, then the next day i cant get off the couch.

I thought it would pass and it hasnt.

i see people who have had gastric bypass even and ten years later gained the weight back. ive even heard of stories of people whove had GP done and have been BANDED SINCE....

i wonder if ill ever not be fat. i wonder if some people are just supposed to be this way. I know for a fact that my dr will do a small unfil when i get there for th eappointment this month and i gotta tell you, im already gaining weight back. I gained FOUR LBS just today. with an unfill, i cant see how i can keep wieght off.

its been this way since the beginning. i lose initially, then i slowly regain. EVERY MONTH. every single month.