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Were Your Friends/family Apologetic...



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.... About eating around you in the first weeks after getting banded?

I know people are trying to be supportive and helpful but it's irritating that everyone around me has started acting like food is Voldemort and can not be mentioned or consumed around me!

I figure this is my "burden" to deal with and shouldn't really affect anyone else's life.

Ugh, in happier news I'm just under two weeks and have lost around 15 pounds. Woo!

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Yes!! It's no secret that I've had my surgery, so my coworkers are mainly the ones who ask that...I think its just out of consideration, and appreciate it...great going on your success!!!

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At first my husband thought he shouldn't eat in front of me and at first it is hard because you are missing that party in your mouth sensation that you got from food. That lasted a week my husband eats like a horse and has NEVER gained weight his whole life.

Being a party person we were out all the time and most people mix every activity with food . So people were concerned about eating in front of me out of caring.

Now they know I eat when I want, what I want , and it is probably going to be a taste of this or that and maybe off their plate.

THey have seen my journey and my attitude was never poor me I can't eat that so they felt comfortable being their happy eating selfs. And I am just fine doing what works for me..

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My hubby wasn't here when I had the surgery so he doesn't count in my answer...Nope.. Family said I know what I signed up for so deal with it..

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Congrats on your weight loss!

My family wasn't (and isn't) apologetic for eating around me. But, I didn't and don't expect them to be. I am the one who let myself get so fat I needed WLS surgery, not them. I got it straight in my head early on that this was my battle and I couldn't expect them to sacrifice foods they enjoyed because of me. I mean, by the grace of God, my kids have very healthy relationships with food. Both are the ideal weight for their sex, age, and height. I'm not going to make them give up their occasional treats just because I have to.

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I see it as consideration, for the most part. Others don't what to encourage you to cheat, or make you feel bad. They also don't want the guilt of eating in front of you, or possibly being reminded of their own bad eating habits.

There are many reasons behind it.

I had a very short post-op liquid/mushy phase, but I made sure to tell the people around me that they are not the ones who had surgery, I was. Please eat as you normally would. It is no different from any other procedure. If I'd had knee surgery, I would not expect them to walk on crutches just because I had to use them.

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I've been preparing my family for the after surgery food intake. I've told them that we ALL will be eating healthier and living more active lives after mommy heals. My 14 yo son, thats the healthiest of all of us, threatened several times to move in with his Nana. I explained that its not really that big of a change since I'll be preparing alot of the food we already eat just in a healthier way and I'll be eating smaller portions. I think he's on board now.

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My husband was the worst! And especially dinning out! I finally have gotten to a stable comfortable point and i think he sees that because he no longer does it! Everyone else has been fine!

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Interesting to see everyone else's experiences!

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Nobody was apologetic to me!!! Lol, my family ate around me like it was nothing!!!:)

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I was banded on July 13 and I have been experiencing the same thing. My whole family is very considerate and though I appreciate it it drives me a little nuts. I want them to eat as normal but then they see me only having broth or pudding and I think it makes them feel guilty.

I can not wait until I can eat real food so that I can have one bite of some of the things they are eating but all in all they have been totally supportive. Many of my family has even said that my surgery has inspired them to eat better and change their habits.

Bless my husband but as I drain the broth from Soup he eats the bits and he has seen a weight loss as well. He has went to all my pre-op appointments and knows the details of this new life almost as well as I do.

Hang in there and know they mean well. There are alot of shared eye rolls and head shakes between my husband and I where my family is concerned but we take it in stride. The biggest thing for me is when they want to "help" you with you diet by making suggestions, that drives me insane...lol

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My husband was very hesitant to eat around me at first, especially when I was in my liquid stage. I explained to him that having this surgery was a choice I made for myself, and that I am fully prepared for the life changes I'm making. I can't expect him to change his routine on my behalf, but I also explained that him eating healthier options would be in HIS best interest. He's changed his eating habits for the most part since my surgery and has lost 8 lbs (he only has about 15 to lose so he's over halfway there).

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I've been preparing my family for the after surgery food intake. I've told them that we ALL will be eating healthier and living more active lives after mommy heals. My 14 yo son, thats the healthiest of all of us, threatened several times to move in with his Nana. I explained that its not really that big of a change since I'll be preparing alot of the food we already eat just in a healthier way and I'll be eating smaller portions. I think he's on board now.

I think that's great! You are probably the one who has typically done the shopping and cooking. It's your responsibility to provide healthy choices for the whole family. Like you said, they probably won't notice the difference a whole lot.

I live alone so as far as what's in the house, it's not a big deal. Now that I have gotten over the buy one get one free crap at the store, I only keep healthy things in the house. When I go out with friends, they eat what they want, it's never even come up that they would do anything different. It's funny, but drinking is different. One of the guys I am dating stopped drinking in front of me when I got banded. I told him he didn't have to but he still won't. I guess part of it is it's no fun to drink a lone.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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