I have a number of "most embarrassing moments" They all were turning points at the time, of some sort. A few of the "highlights":

When I was a mere 180 lbs. and went to get on one of those swing rides that go around in the air at a local festival with my best friend. I got in the swing and had myself all locked in and the little carny kid who ran the ride had to come over and tell me I couldn't ride cuz I was too heavy! UGGGHHH To my best friends credit, she got outta her swing too and walked away quickly with me.

:scared: When I got divorced and was going through some terrible self loathing I actually hooked up with a horrible abusive musician guy that I had dated for two years when I was in my senior year in High school and starting college. We were laying on his couch in his looser apartment one morning and he actually was singing "Why am I sleeping with a cow"...I just got up with as much dignity as I could muster and put on my jacket and walked out the door.

:faint: My one and only attempt at internet dating was when I arranged to meet a guy that I had been talking too for quite awhile online and we really seemed to hit it off. We decided to meet at a local watering hole and I told him what I would be wearing so he would know me when he saw me. (this was about 8 years ago, before the advent of the digital camera and stuff so most people still did not have their pics all over the place like they do now). He knew from chatting with me that I was "chubby". I was about 210 and a size 18 at the time. Well I went into the bar and ordered a drink and tried to ize up the people in there to see if he was there yet, I heard a few guys laughing at the end of the bar and they all seemed to be sneaking glances at me. They all got up at the same time and left. I stayed for another half hour and never saw a guy come in who fit the description. I left and went home in shame....little did I know of theshame that awaited me online! The guy emailed me and told me that he and his budddies went in to check me out together and that I was crazy to think that anyone would want a fat ass like me.....OUCH.

Anyway, any one of these should have been a huge turning point for my weight loss efforts, but, if anything they made me worse. I think back on them now and I still feel the sting, but I am also much stronger now and I know the band will help me too.

Well I have had many worst days so to speak. I work in a grocery store all the way in the back at the meat department. I was walking up to punch out and kids just say the darnest things "wow mommy his tummy is huge"

After going to my pcp for over a year and getting weights in the 425-445 range, we decided it was time to see the surgeon. I scheduled my appointment and show up for the appointment where they put me on a scale. To my horro the 500lb scale was reading E's across the board. I went to the weight loss center and found out I was really 509.5lbs and I was to fat for the normal scales.

I have so many fat stories I have come to the conclusion those stories have made me more resilliant and open to the surgery and the pain I am in from the surgery (3 days out) Just wanted to share a few of my horror stories

This thread is soo good. I have many many shameful moments, but have you noticed there is a common theme to almost all of the stories? People have not learned to not say anything at all if you don't have something nice to say. Weren't we all taught that in like kindergarten?

Anyhow, my very last that is it straw that broke the camel's back moment: I am just recently remarried to a wonderful, loving and supportive man. Bless his heart he is gorgeous and married me at 260++. Anyhow, we were out having a couple of drinks with some " friends" and one of the ladies kept going on and on about how sweet he is and cute etc. THEN started to tell me just how lucky I am that I got him to marry me. THEN told me how I better do whatever I could to hold on to him because I am sooo lucky. ( She is like super tiny by the way ) I haven't always been fat, and until that moment I hadn't realized how some people just presume that you are dull or stupid or somehow not worthy because you are fat. I couldn't get it out of my head. I was so embarrassed to think that people were like oh that poor guy. I decided HEY he should feel lucky to have me ( and of course he does ) and I wasn't going to give anyone a reason to judge him. Until then I didn't realize how my self loathing affected not only me, but the people I love around me. It gave me strength and resolve and courage. Now I have just bought I size 16 jeans for the first time in YEARS and I feel great.

A therapist may not agree that this was the best motivator, but somehow it worked and now that person that I was so angry with is someone I give thanks to. I realized I was only really angry with myself.

My marriage is awesome and we are now getting healthier together.

Kids always made fun of me in school for various things. Being overweight, being poor, etc. Plenty of guys who yelled nasty things out of cars while driving by (talk about cowardice).

Unfortunately, the one story that sticks out to me most was AFTER I'd had surgery and had already lost 50 lbs. I had traveled to the Golden Gate Fields horseracing track to do some training for software my company had built. The training was done in an area where customers had access to, and we were also helping customers while we trained. This guy comes up (who is evidently a 'regular'), and is yapping away with the people that work there that know him, and all of a sudden I hear "Hey, fat girl! Fat girl!!" and I can't help but look over at him. He says "You know why fat girls always hang out with skinny girls?? So they always know they get the leftovers when the skinny girl is done!" I couldn't even say anything. The things I wanted to say probably would have gotten me shipped back home. Especially since the guy was bigger than I was. I suddenly developed a very important phone call I had to go make and I went outside and cried. My boyfriend was there with me, also working, and he came out with me. He said if we weren't working he'd have had a few choice things to say as well. After I composed myself I went back in and the employees basically said he's an ass to everyone, and he probably doesn't have much of a life.

This one bugs me too. It happened a few months ago. I had been to the dentist, and was waiting out side for my fiance (boyfriend from above) to pick me up. I was waiting outside and this car pulls up and these kids (2 of them, one not older than 7 and the other not older than 10) start yelling the most obscene things at me. "Hey you fat b****! F***ing fat b****!" and their guardian (mother??) gets out of the car and just says "Just ignore those stupids" and walks away while her children keep screaming at me. Being that half my face was numb, and I didn't want to sound like an idiot giving them further fuel, I didn't say anything, and I didn't look at them or acknowledge them. Their comments got worse and worse and finally their mother came out and got in the car and I couldn't help but say "You all need serious help." They left and I was in tears when my fiance pulled up. I wished I had thought to get the license plate number so I could report them to social services. No child who is allowed to say things like that in front of their parents is getting any kind of parenting at home. Frankly, it just makes me feel better to know that they are going to someday mouth off to the wrong person, and probably get what's coming to them.

My tippping points came during a recent trip to Hawaii. The worse was when we went to a beach to snorkle. The path had washed out, so we had to climb a small bluff(about 4-5 feet). I got down OK, but I could NOT get myself back up. It took my husband and an uncle pushing and pulling and I was SOOO embarrassed. They were very nice about it, but I felt horrible.

The other things from that trip was having a bathing suit with a skirt on it trying to hide myself, and just in general not having the energy I wanted to.

When I was a freshman in high school I weighed 135 pounds - which I thought was fat because all my friends weighed less than that. I was extremely shy and I went to a family picnic and one of my cousins who had a smoking hot bod was wearing a bikini. I was wearing a modest 2 piece swimsuit. An old lech of an uncle was ogling my cousin and then turned to my mom and said, "Rachel is not very pretty, but she's nice". I was extremely hurt by that comment. My mother never defended me, she just laughed.

I once told my dad I was buying a new mountain bike - his comment, "better have them install a tractor seat for you, ha ha". Why is it that families can hurt their own, without having a single thought about it, or remorse, or sensitivity?

Another time, I was leaving an ice cream shop. As my friend and I passed a booth of college-aged morons, I heard one of them say "Thar she blows...." Mortified again!

I think these experiences have made me stronger - and I am teaching my son NEVER to make fun of anyone who looks different.

Sadly when I began reading this thread I couldt really remember the times this has happened to be but then they all seemed to have poured back so I figured lets share.

- While visiting a tropical island in a student exchange program (I weighed about 145 at the time) durring carnival there was an event that had the fat girls dancing to win a pig the family I was staying with asked me to please go dance for them so they could win. Needless to say I said no, But it will burn forever.

- On the same trip while visiting a univeristy and talking to other local students a ramdom guy walked up to me and said my god you are so beautifull . Do you know how beautiful you are? Its to bad you dont care and you let yourself get so fat its such a waste. These both happend on a latin carribean island.

- A boyfriend who I was deeply in love with once said to me you need to eat to live not live to eat.

- When I broke up with him and went to have coffee and share a dessert with a friend he felt the need to tell me not to blow up (gained about 100 lbs since then)

- While in universal studios and I saw the try to see if you fit seats outside the rides I was praying the entire time they wouldn't make me try it. thank god they didnt

- While in Paris I ordered a dessert flite with coffee and the waitress felt the need to tell me it was very small that I may not be satisfied and may want to choose a larger dessert. ( I got the little one and it was enough and I even shared it with 3 other people so HA to her)

- While in Paris experienced the death of gridlock cafe seating and the embaresment of having to climb my way back out.

- At a gym Yoga class an older women told me I was to fat for yoga. Told me they shouldnt let you in this class your taking the space of someone who would want it. Why dont you go do aerobics and loose some weight. It was mean of me but I told her I can loose the weight and I'll look great but you'll always be ugly, old and mean and all the yoga in the world cant fix you.

I think the one Im sick of the most is your so pretty you just need to loose weight. Im not banded yet but I hope to be banded soon. I know Im not doing it for anyone else Im doing it for me, for my health and for my future and to all the mean people who have insulted all of us they can suck on a lemon and when they see us getting thinner remember to smile when they look your way. I know I plan to =) It doesnt matter how thin they are. We can gain or loose weight and we are good people I dont know if they can say the same.

Eva

God I have had my share on cringing moments:

Firstly, having to order and extension seat-belt on my flight to LA. I made a decision then and there that as soon as my holiday was over I would diet but needless to say I gained and gained.

Secondly, I went to a friends wedding and everyone was standing up watching the bride and groom cut the cake and a man bumped into me and I turned and apologised (don't know why I did as he bumped into me!!!) and he turned and shouted to his friends 'you know I said I would be the fattest person at this wedding I was wrong she is fatter than me'. I was mortified and could feel tears welling up. My friend and her fiance had overheard and couldn't even look at me as they felt so bad. My upset soon turned into anger so I waited as I knew he would be back and sure enough he was. He then came right up to my face and said 'I told my mates you are the fattest person here not me' and I said 'you've got to be joking you're massive you fat f**ker' and he was sooooooooooo shocked!!! All his mates laughed at him and I walked off and cried my eyes out.

When I was a kid, my family used to have nicknames for us girls (me and my 2 sisters were the youngest of 5) needless to say that my 2 sisters had beautiful names like "princess" and "beautiful" and I was "big mouth" from the Smufs as he ate constantly! Truth is I look back on photos from that period and don't think I was any fatter than any of the rest od my family.

My dad always called me names relating to being fat from as far back as I can remember. Now he wonders why I want nothing to do with him!!! He destroyed my self confidence and I would put on at least 5 pounds every time I saw him but comfort eating after his visits. Well he got what he deserved, he is a lonely old man whilst my mum found herself a toy boy. They have both stuck by me through this op!

I had all the usual growing up into teenage years, I was the fat friend of all my skinny friends!

The most recent one is actually quite amusing with hindsight. I was at my mum's for a bbq and all my sisters and brothers were in attendance with their family. I had quite a bit to drink by then. The guys decided to play boules and the girls all pulled up a plastic chair to sit and watch them play. This was only a couple of months before my op so I was letting go. There I was sat down with my bottle of brandy at my feet and my half filled glass on my extended laps. All of a sudden one foot of the chair started burying itself in the "not so soft" ground! All my family was in hysterics, I could not get up as I was holding my glass for dear life. It took both my 9 year old twin nephews to get me off the chair. Alas the brandy was lost but they were nice enough to recue the bottle for me! HAHA! It is funny talking about it now, weighing 30 kilos less, but at the time, even through the alcohol, I was embarassed.

Being the first one to make the fat jokes and comments so that my friend would not get in first! That hurts even though I am the one to say it cause they all laugh! When my friends comment about a fat person in the pub or out then turn round to me and say "not yo though" as if that would make it better to know that they would say horrible things about fat people...just not to their face! Having a "friend" say to my husband that he must do something about me because I would be so beautiful if only I wasn't so fat! (mind you got my own back on that one! Got so fed up with the same person always saying this to my husband that one time, when I could see it happening, I walked up to her and told that I did not appreciate her making comments to my husband like this. Her husband got well peeved with her for saying that and disappeared off into the night! When he finally returned, she had gone out to cry to her sister and he was locked out in the cold and had to sleep in a chair all night! HE never spoke to her for 2 weeks!LOL, mean but funny!)

Finally the worst thing for me is being the butt of jokes now for being fat when in my heart I see myself as "almost thin" as I have worked so hard. I know I need to lose loads more but frankly, you don't think you are that fat once you start losing...but people who don't know you do not know how much you have already lost. I keep wanting to carry my "fat" photos around with me and say "actually I am not that bad compared to that" to all strangers who look at me sideways!

I love this thread. I never thought I would be able to speak freely about all those times that are so painful to remember but yet, are a part of who I am! Everyone on here were so brave I decided to be brave to show all the ones who have yet to read that they are not alone either.

Good luck to you all for your banded future.

How awful. I am so sorry that people have to be so insensitive. I once decided that I would try walking to get exercise. On the second day, somebody yelled out of a car window something about being a fatass. I didn't walk again for about thirty years. I have started again this past January and so far there have been no rude comments. All the while I knew that it was his issue not mine--he was very heavy; much less than I was at the time! Still, it scarred me enough so that it took 30 years before I'd try it again. I'm so glad I did; it empowered me like nothing else could, and I'm losing weight to boot. In other words, get out there and date again. The weight sure rules out the losers, huh?!

Here's the set up:

In 1979, at the age of 26, my 5'2" frame was carrying around 185 lbs. I was working at a chemical plant with mostly men as a reactor operator. This was by far the most stressful position in the companhy and the highest position paid hourly.

I was the only woman doing this job, and needless to say all the men, including old-timers, and co-workers my own age - were not too keen on a woman being able to do 'such a complicated and high paying job.'

Now the story:

I developed food poisioning - my doctor said it was most likely caused by a can of split pea Soup, I'd eaten out of the vending machine. Out of work for nearly a week and a half, I dropped an incredible 15 lbs. before returning to work. Then, after being back at work for 3 to 4 weeks, of course I regained my 15 lb. loss.

One evening, while in the control room in a rare moment when all six of us Class A reactor operators were there, one of the older gentleman I worked with asked, "Hey how much of that weight have you gained back since you were out sick,?" Well, even though I knew the answer was all, I said, "Gee, I don't know why?" And then right there in front of my coworkers, he say's, "Looks like all of it to me, cuz now you look like the same piglet you did before you got sick."

I had learned from working with these men not to let them see my vulnerability, or they would use it against me, so I just ignored him - outwardly. Inside, I was so hurt, so mortified and embarrassed and so angry that he had the audacity to say that to me. I vowed then and there no one would ever, ever have the opportunity to say that to me again.

Ending of the story:

About a month later the plant had a cut back, and being low man 'woman' on the seniority totem pole, I was bounced out of my job and took another job in a different building working different hours. I worked there for a year. During that year, though, I'd gone on the Atkins diet, and had gone down to 104 lbs. Lost 81 lbs. The company started doing well again and my former building manager called me and begged me to go back to my Class A Reactor Operator Job since they really needed experienced operators. I agreed and went back.

When I finally reported to work, my former co-workers were in shock. And about two weeks after that, the gentleman who'd insulted me - and was now telling me how great I looked, asked me how, and why I'd been so successful in dropping all that weight.

I couldn't even bring myself to tell him he had been the impetus for my weight loss.

"I've been fat and I've been thin and I can tell you from experience that being thin tastes a lot better."

Can't wait for my surgery date to be on the road to thin again.

Ok, so I am at my grandmother’s funeral and I am devastated by her death. We are sitting around a few minutes before the funeral begins and one of my grandmother’s neighbors (about 80 years old) walks over to me and asks “What happened to you?” I asked her what she meant and she said “you got so big, you used to be so beautiful.” I can’t tell you how bad I wanted to crawl in the casket with my grandmother and let them burry me.

I often get asked when my baby is due but the worst time was when I was shopping in Lane Bryant and the saleslady asked me when the baby was due..I was in a plus size store!! :omg:

A nice part to the story however, was my 6 year old daughter telling me (after leaving the store) that she thought I looked beautiful and that she would be sad if I didn't have a tummy she could snuggle on.

About five years ago, I weighed 150#. Got a personal trainer, weight watchers, the whole nine. ( I am 5'2" and small framed). Consulted with a plastic surgeon about a possible tummy tuck when in the future. He said, "how much do you weigh now?, about 140 something?" I said, " 152#" He said, "My God!" "my wife is your height and she only weighs 108#!" "Why don't you try walking or something,Jesus!"

Fast forward to 12/06. I am in the doctor's outer office in Mexico, along with other pre-op bandsters, listening to Dr Rumbault talk about the surgery. At that time, I weighed 191#. One of the pre-op bandsters says, "Why are you getting this surgery, you don't look like you need it." " If I were you, I would just try weight watchers and exercise." Before I could respond, Dr. Rumbault said, " she is a lower BMI Bandster, I operate on a lot of them, and they do quite well." "He smiled and winked at me." The tension in the room went away like magic, and I knew I had picked the right surgeon.

A Picture says it all!!!!

This is just one in a series of many embarassing moments that I have turned into a cartoon strip based on my 'fat' life called 'The Lighter Side of Large' there are more on my blog but I thought I would share this one as it was probably THE most singularly embarassing moment of my life...

:eek: Becky

At age 31 I was a size 8. Now at 47 I weigh 255. (Not banded yet). I've been a teacher, and nothing hurts worse than to overhear students you have grown very fond of and thought you had good rapport with, call you a fat cow when they didn't know you could hear.

For the most part, my husband has been wonderful. He never says anything about my weight. He's concerned for my health, but never makes wise cracks. Just recently the family was watching the movie, NORBIT. When Rsputia came on the screen, my husband blurted out, "Hey, there's Mommy." I went to my room and cried. This cemented my decision to band.