I am bothered by everyone leaving or taking a break... or getting their feelings hurt.

I am bothered that people are getting upset at "newbies" for trying to help others with the rules. Like "newbies" are dumb just because they haven't had the band for 18 mths or more???

A LOT of the people that are offering advice are offering what they have been told by their Dr....

Just what is bothering me these days...

So sad that people are taking everything so hard. I really try not to.

Just my 2 cents!!!

You asked?

I tell.

Damn dog.

ROTFL!!!!! Damn Dog!!!!!!!!!

I just love you guys, all of you!

He sits at the back door - just gleaming in... probably at me. I hate him - he hates me.

I keep telling Mike that that damn dog needs a better home life.

You asked?

I tell.

Damn dog.

Paula you crack me up!:biggrin1:

Paula - I have an idea.. do you live near MeganA? *snickers*

Paula I never thought you had it in you to hate anything. That is hilarious but yet not cause I am not in your shoes. Can you let it loose? Maybe it will wonder away? Just a thought :scared:

HI Everyone,

It took me a while to read through all of these posts and I can relate best to (the Best me) Kathy when she says that after being here more than a year, she still feels like she hasn't found a niche and she still feels like the outsider, much like high school. I have been coming here even longer than this and I feel much the same way. In my case, I am a byproduct of low self esteem caused by being ostracized by thinner folks some of the time and the pain of seeing less intelligent and sometimes thinner folks getting jobs that I wanted or a guy that I wanted etc.. You get the picture. I hated being obese and I hated myself for continuing the behaviors that kept me obese. I know you get it. The self loathing, but many times being successful in every other part of my life. This is usually the profile of an obese person. Many of us are classic overachievers, OCD ish, and control freaks! LOL but mostly true!

Now this is a broad sweeping generalization, but sometimes I think that part of the obese dynamic can be our dependence on the strength of our personalities and our intelligence to thrive in a society where obesity is taboo.

As a result of us asserting this strength, I believe that many of us who do depend on the strength of our personality feel easily slighted and offended when someone challenges our intelligence in any way.

And then you add the "perceived" caste system of pre-bander, spouses of bandsters, newbies, 3-6 monthers all the way up to bandsters of tenure more than 18 months out and then add the tight friendships of those of us who have been lucky enough to meet , you create a problem with some new folks who really feel left out. Its bad enough that many of us are discriminated everywhere else in the universe, we certaintly don't need to bring the animosity and discrimation here.

Now I will say that although everyone should be entitled to an opinion, there are folks here that do need to be corrected when they offer medical advice which they are not qualified to give or just poor advice that could be detrimental to someone's health. I hope that the posters and the postees know that the disclaimer is if a problem is causing you physical pain, then you should always defer to a doctor and look at the advice as only a suggestion and not the rule.

Hugs,

Babs in TX

334/180

-154

I was banded 2/3/06 and have been coming here for about 6 weeks. I could not agree more with what Babs said about correcting medical advice as necessary. I would like to add that correcting medicinal advise is occassional necessary as well. We all need a Bariatric Surgeon and a Primary Healthcare Provider that we trust and talk to about ALL medical issues. Some of us have personal experience others are in healthcare and have professional experience, but all advise should be filtered through your Docs. :suspicious:

Paula, I'm shocked SHOCKED I tell ya!

But yeah, make the DH responsible for the damned dog...

...after being here more than a year, she still feels like she hasn't found a niche and she still feels like the outsider, much like high school.

I've been here longer than almost anyone, and I don't have a niche! What am I doing wrong?

I've been here longer than almost anyone, and I don't have a niche! What am I doing wrong?

I can sell you one for reasonable price. *grins*

Ya'll (sorry for the slang...I tend to type like I talk. ) crack me up! I don't mind grammactical mistakes...I make plenty of them myself. :-) Newbies...don't be miffed if you think that you have not been heard. There are so many posts to get through or thru(whichever one turns you on.) I myself have been struggling with my band and feel that I just can't give advice when I myself am having issues. I AM always available for a PM though if anybody has any questions.

Quote by Babs:

Now this is a broad sweeping generalization, but sometimes I think that part of the obese dynamic can be our dependence on the strength of our personalities and our intelligence to thrive in a society where obesity is taboo.

As a result of us asserting this strength, I believe that many of us who do depend on the strength of our personality feel easily slighted and offended when someone challenges our intelligence in any way.

Babs,

Very well thought out post. I like your reasoning!

Good post Babs. I would hope that the obese, who know the sting of being ignored and left out in society would not turn around and do the same.

I've been here longer than almost anyone, and I don't have a niche! What am I doing wrong?

It's that Napoleon Complex you have going on. lol

I don't have a niche either, so I carved one out and made it my own.

I don't believe that the newbies are being specifically or even generally ignored. I think anytime you join a new group there is an adjustment period, time where you figure out what exactly is going on. We have our own way of talking and doing things, and that is part of creating a culture.

I'm not saying that it isn't frustrating for any newcomer anywhere, I'm fully aware that it is.

Another thing that gets my nose out of shape are TV shows that have snotty kids, or snotty parents. Kids see that behaivour and think that is how things are supposed to be, so they emulate the snotty behaivour.

Civility is the glue that holds a polite society together.

They say if you don't have a Niche then get yourself a Nietzsche

Here is a quote of his that is somewhat apropos intended to stimulate contemplation for all, with or without a Niche. Please feel free to interpret this as you wish but keep in mind that I am not inferring any negativity only an invitation to suggest the solution lies within.

Quote: Out of damp and gloomy days, out of solitude, out of loveless words directed at us, conclusions grow up in us like fungus: one morning they are there, we know not how, and they gaze upon us, morose and gray. Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in him.

Author: Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

something else that just kills me are people that mispronounce words nomatter how it is spelled. Example... Espresso vs. Expresso, Washington vs. Warshington, Explain vs. Exprain...etc.

I think the expresso gets me the most. do you see and 'x' in that word anywhere??? it just makes me crazy. ok...i'm done now.

[/rant]