I am bothered by everyone leaving or taking a break... or getting their feelings hurt.

I am bothered that people are getting upset at "newbies" for trying to help others with the rules. Like "newbies" are dumb just because they haven't had the band for 18 mths or more???

A LOT of the people that are offering advice are offering what they have been told by their Dr....

Just what is bothering me these days...

So sad that people are taking everything so hard. I really try not to.

Just my 2 cents!!!

Peanut Butter made me fat, temptation made me naked.

I'm still laughing over that one!

Here I was trying to be serious, and actually offer some advice...

This is actually a little funny based on some of the statements posted recently but my gagging happens from eating Peanut Butter later in the evening. I purchase the 100% peanuts only kind but I grew up on peanut butter and I love the stuff, I can't shake it. It seems to stay around in my stomach for along time and it backs up when I fall alseep. Next thing you know I have a mouth full of stuff and I am choking.

Peanut butter really did have a significant impact on my life and my weight, it's sort of funny how it has come back to haunt me now in the middle of the night.

I'm not bored or angry at hearing about people's problems, their reasons why they became fat. But I'm sick to death of the defensiveness every time somebody posts a perfectly reasonable opinion on ways to get your head around the fact that if you continue to eat like you did you will continue to be fat. Empathy and understanding aside, if you dont change what you're eating and the way you think about food, you will continue to be fat. Sounds reasonable to me, I'm tired of people acting like that's some kind of insult. It all comes down to basic maths in the end, no matter what excuses you bring into it to explain why you're different and cant be expected to do that.

And correct me if I'm wrong but however long you've had the band you've been through the same trials and tribulations as everyone here in trying to lose weight, so you have plenty to offer. What a load of rubbish to say that you dont know what you're talking about.

But none of that's bent my nose out of shape particularly, you expect it on a big forum.

What I'm really sick of and what has me wondering whether I'm here talking with adults or a bunch of teenagers is all this stupid XXXX stuff. I just avoid it, but cant help thinking "for pete's sake this is a lap band forum". But even though I think oh well just wont read that one, it does make me question the maturity of some.

Susan, it's funny but in my real life I am considerred more of a fun loving guy who likes to keep it light. I am glad that that came through, it's not something I have done a good job communicating in this forum to date, so thanks for laughing.

Heather, I really am looking for advice

I'm new here, so like many, I'm confused about the exodus from the board--I don't understand the underlying issues here.

I believe that, even among the best of friends, conflicts are inevitable. In the physical world, when we have conflicts with co-workers or friends, we have the benefit of seeing the person, reading body language, knowing about their actions outside of our conversations, seeing how they interact with others.

Virtual communication is limited to our typed words with no benefit of tone, body language, and eye contact. Alone with our computer, this medium makes it easier to write things that maybe we wouldn't say to someone face-to-face. That's a pity.

I'm sad to see that people are leaving and are uncomfortable here. I am going to look on the bright side, though.

The positive side:

1. What we're discussing on these boards is relevant and meaningful.

2. People care enough to want to establish guidelines--XXX threads or not? Qualified opinions or not?

3. People are passionate about the topics.

4. When someone leaves, members wish them success and shower them with affection.

5. The public forum is successful--people are expressing diverse opinions and controversial opinions. No one is censoring or filtering information.

Human contact is messy--there are always jerks, blowhards, and know-it-alls in the world and so far no one's managed to create a utopia. (I once belonged to a "utopian" board that required an application for admission. The moderators were so fierce about their "friendliness" and "on-topic" guidelines that they would delete anything that didn't meet their standards. How worthless was that! Grrr...censorship...)

I'm sad that people are leaving this board. However, I am glad that this place is still open for those who remain and want to exchange ideas--good or bad.

Thank you to everyone who has been supportive and helpful--I read the threads and gain your wisdom.

Tommy,

Maybe try your Peanut Butter in the middle of the day and on something like whole wheat crackers - just a thought. That way it's gone by evening and wont haunt you all night. Good Luck!

Oh, have you tried the lower fat peanut butter - it's pretty good. I love the stuff, too!

The only thing i can say tommy, is try eating it earlier to give it time to pass out of your pouch.

I also love my Peanut Butter but if i ate it to late i know id pay for it right around 1-2 am.

is peanut butter the only food that "gags" you ?

Why is MY nose bent out of shape? There is methochloroisozolinone in all my shampoo's and I don't know why the hell it's there!

ok jokes aside. This is a board for support, advice, understanding and friendship. We will always have periods of upheaval, disagreement and misunderstandings, sad, but in a group of thousands where only 2d text determines the tone... inevitable... If it were all sappy roses and love songs, I'd find it quite boring I think.

We need to find a way to disagree with an idea or statement without making it a personal attack. I've seen perfectly understandable comments suddenly ripped to shreds by someone who didnt get the true meaning of the comment, or took a joke as a jab. That's truely too bad. We have some awesome, bright, loveable people here, it's too bad the text trips so many up.

I know this is going to sound all mushy BUT....

check this out... we are all posting why we are bent out of shape....

AND THERE ARE NO FIGHTS!!!!

WAY TO GO US!!!

I didn't agree with everyone said, but we got to post our opinions!!! YAYYY, we are all being so sweet!!! (evil grin)

Thanks to everyone for posting their comments and not attacking others!!!!

I know this is going to sound all mushy BUT....

check this out... we are all posting why we are bent out of shape....

AND THERE ARE NO FIGHTS!!!!

WAY TO GO US!!!

I didn't agree with everyone said, but we got to post our opinions!!! YAYYY, we are all being so sweet!!! (evil grin)

Thanks to everyone for posting their comments and not attacking others!!!!

I think you just made a horrible assumption. I am fighting and blah blah blah yakkity shmakity.

How dare you blah blah //hateverrr... you are so like all over your bad self girl. You need to step... K?

I refuse to get along!

And JUST to prove it I am going to have YET another cup of fricking dirty flavored frickin Water with hazelnut flavored water. HAH put THAT in your thread and SMOKE it madam.

:heh: :heh: :heh: :heh: :heh: :heh: :heh: :heh:

I'm with Jenna, folks giving advice, hard and fast rules when they don't have the slightest clue what they are talking about. I'd write exactly what you just did.

I just want to say that in my opinion most people are talking about newbies that didn't do their research, and they don't know exactly what the rules are and are still giving advice. I remember one saying she ate a chicken finger at a few days out, and did just fine. I read where some start eating right away and think nothing of it. So, when people are griping about newbies giving advice, I don't think them mean all of the newbies. Heck some of the new people know a heck of a lot and give very good advice. So, please don't think all newbies need to stop giving advice, just make sure when you do give someone advice you actually know what you are saying. We sure don't want someone to hurt their band by getting the wrong information. I know most of the older bandsters will tell them right up front that they should follow their doctors orders even though they are different from theirs.

wow, i really am outta the loop on this one...sooo in general what chapps my ass ~ Old contact lenses that make your eye sting ~ that little chunk of bar soap that is left in the shower (on purpose I think) ~ not being able to jump in a mud puddle :mad:

All you guys rock~~~~

Oh yah one more thing I am having trouble sleeping at night, I keep being awakened because I am gaging, any thoughts and/or advice would be appreciatted.

Tommy -

Sounds like reflux to me. But your later posts makes it sound like it only happens with pbutter. Which in that case, I would have to ask... uh... why you keep eating it at night? :mad:

Perhaps if you chased it down with several hot beverages?

Generally accepted wisdom is to not lay down before 3 hours or so after your last meal. How long are you waiting? Are you already drinking hot liquids to wash down the pbutter?

Otherwise, I'm with the others - I'd recommend eating it at lunch or Breakfast instead of at night.

:car:

:focus:

I have NEVER heard anyone suggest that newbies or non-banded (whether pre-band or unbanded) people shouldn't give advice. Or that someone must be banded xx amount of time, or have xx amount of fills. That's simply ridiculous.

What I get up in arms about is when the tone of the board starts to shift to blaming the obese for their disease. You want a board where everyone is belittled because of "lack of willpower" you can find plenty of other boards that fit in just nicely with that attitude. I have no tolerance for it here.

I have been through a LOT of emotional counseling on this subject, and I have read a LOT about obesity, and what exactly causes it.

The truth is, there is no one simple answer. And just because I happen to believe that for ME there is a biological explanation in addition to an emotional component does NOT mean that I am unwilling to take responsibility for my actions. BUT - just because I am the one putting the donut in my mouth doesn't mean that it's just a simple matter of NOT putting it in my mouth.

For those people who have to lock their door and then check it ten times before they actually leave the house - yes, THEY are choosing to do that, and yet there is something very deep and primal driving their actions, and it is almost like they have no control. No therapist would tell them "Just stop. Use your willpower."

I think eating some things for some of us is like that.

And I think some of us are more hungry than others.

And I think most obese people have a strength of will that far exceeds many others who do not have to fight this disease.

Willpower is not indefatigable. It is not limitless. It is not designed for the long haul. There has to be a plan put into place - that's the willpower part of it. Then the plan has to be followed - that's the building habit part of it.

Obesity is NOT unbeatable, but it's a complicated thing, and I resent someone trying to reduce it to a simple equation of calories in=calories out. It is so much more than that, and most people need a whole arsenol of weapons to fight and win the battle. And telling the people who are fighting the battle that they are not committed to the journey flies in the face of everything I know and feel as an obese person.

IMHO