This is more of a single girls guide to. How and when do you breach the subject with a guy(s) you are dating about the surgery? It's kind of hard to hide when clothes come of and scars can be seen. I want him to see me as the sexy girl I am now, not the unhappy person I used to be without turning him off.

It was different for me, because I tell everyone about my WLS, so I told most of the men I was dating pretty quickly. It usually came up if we were out for dinner and I was trying choose a band-friendly meal.

It was usually casual, and I'd say something like 'oh I have to be a little careful about what I eat, because I lost quite a lot of weight after I had lapband surgery, and the band can be finicky sometimes.' I figured I'd rather get it out of the way early so it didn't look like I was hiding anything should it progress further.

Most guys thought it was amazing that I'd achieved something quite so significant as losing almost half my body weight. And if they asked why, I told them the truth - I needed to lose weight, so I did something about it. They didn't, and would never have known me as I was when I was heavier, so that was never the issue. Most of the people I know NOW didn't ever know me as a heavier person, and they keep telling me that they can't even imagine it, and find it hard to believe even when they see photos. People tend to live in the 'now'. That's their only reality.

Most guys moved on from the topic after that. My partner though, wanted to know everything pretty early on, and wanted to know what I could eat, about stuck episodes, the whole kit and kaboodle. I guess I should have known he wanted something more serious even back then!

Oh and just on the subject of scars. No guy I've ever been with has ever been turned off by my scars, even my big body lift ones. In fact, I asked one guy I saw for a while what he thought of my scars after we'd slept together for the first time, said he said 'what scars?'.

I said. 'The BIG ASS scars right around my lower torso?!'

And he said, 'Oh. Oh those. Ok, I seriously didn't notice. I had more interesting things to look at....'

I think that if a guy loves you he will not even be freaking out about any scars. maybe you should talk to him about it if you think things might be getting serious before you do any matress dancing. If you've been out for a meal I'm sure he's noted your choices for food and the "little" quanity you may consume. If he's not turned off by it then he's a keeper but if he is all "turned off " by the idea of scars or skin then maybe he's not the guy for you.

Hell I was covered with scars before lapband. I don't see it as a problem. My bf asked me about my previous ones I think 6 months after we were serious. I have some from having gall bladder removed from having kids. From softball and a lot from just being a Tom boy. To men it's usually no big deal.

I understand how guys might be otherwise distracted. I guess the scars just seem more prevalent on me because of my pale sensitive skin. And this might sound really wrong but I am not really looking for "the one" after all I am 22 and now healthy there are many more options. I really haven't had a guy notice how little I eat cause its usually for dinner. I normally make it a point to stress that being healthy is main thing for me.

Are the scars that bad. Verses the dark and deep black purple strech marks. I am getting my band on 1-30-2012 and scars are the least of my issues.

I should be fair and say that I have a skin condition were my skin is really sensitive and if it is touch my anything it reacts and usually scars, so they are worse than normal.

Actually scars show up on Asian skin far more clearly than on caucasian skin. Darker skinned asians (like me!) tend to develop pigmentation against the scars so they don't fade to pale pink. Even so, no one's ever been turned off by my scars. And mine go all the way round my hips, and up my stomache to under my breasts.

I was actually single for about a year in 2010, and I have to admit that I too wasn't looking for a long term commitment back then, just having come out of a 9 year marriage. It's actually easier when it's all pretty casual and you're just there to have fun without putting too much stock into what they think (does that sounds horrible? lol). I just enjoyed the attention and then moved on. And like I said, no one cared or noticed. Even though mine are pretty obvious.

22 year old guys are not going to notice the scars. Have fun. Use protection.