Hello, i am new to the boards...well been looking for a while but new to posting! u

Just wondering who have you guys told about your band? If you dont tell people is it very obvious by the way you are eating?

I ask because my husband and I have very different ideas about this. He doesn't think I should tell anyone including family. He fully supports me but he doesn't want people judging me or being ignorant about what I am doing and since we are paying also about the money we are spending. He knows its going to be alot of work too and doesn't want people making me feel bad about trying to take the easy way out. I just don't think there is any way that my sister isn't going to notice somethings up...but she is also a person who will tell the whole world.

Its hard because Im not embarrassed about the surgery but I am embarrassed about how big I have gotten and that its come to this.

I told certain people in my family that I knew would support me.

Many years ago my life long friend ended our friendship due to my weight loss.

i did gain all my weight back and she was friendly again.well im to old to play games if you love me take me for who in am not what you want to be.

now if someone does ask i will tell.i have told my family and they are very happy and stated i should of done this years ago,but i wasnt ready then im ready now and starting my process i have 3 appointmnets in the 22nd and looking forward to it.although im an nervous and in my 60's but i see some in therre 70's that why its for all of us to share, it keeps me going to know i can do this!!!

please keep in touch everyone .

The only person that I regret telling is a "friend" of mine, before we used to see each other or at least call each other 2 to 3 times a week. But she told me straight out that she doesn't like to be the fat friend.

Not sure what to say to that. Any friend worth keeping would be supportive and positive for you, not dump you because of jealousy or meanness...

It sounds like she needs to have a equal person around to justify her lack of desire to change.

Just my opinion..

I told about everyone! I was just so excited I couldn't hold it in... I needed to let work know because of all of the doctor's appointments I had to go to, but I wanted my friends to know for their support. Some of my friends were skeptical... Either they are really skinny and don't get it, or one, who is overweight is just not supportive at all. I think he is jealous, to be honest, but it's ok... I'd probably feel the same way. guess it works both ways. We don't want people to necesarily judge us for having the surgery, but we shouldn't judge others either for feeling how they feel. (unless it's a totally stupid reason)

Everyone makes good points....I guess hubby is worried someone will hurt my feelings....or make fun of me for paying so much money sometimes people can be mean out of jealousy! I want to tell people Im proud that I am doing this...Im about to change my life!!

I was wondering the same thing. I just told my sis n law today that I was thinking about the idea. You would think you would want your family to know. Like when I had quit smoking I had told everyone because I didn't want them to keep smoking around me at that time. Soooo I really don't know when I would tell everyone.

I am only telling a few people. My husband, my mom,sister, and a couple of close friends. I only choose this because I know how most of my coworkers are and I just don't want to deal with them. I plan on just telling them I am on a diet and working out. It works out well with the start of the new year resolution time. I think maybe later if someone ask I might tell them. But for now I think that this is the best way for me. I have a lot people in my family that have had some sort of WLS and understand. So, I will probably eventually tell more of my family. Till then..the diet and exercise thing will be my answer which is the truth. I think that each person is different and the people around them are different is accepting peoples down falls.

I told everyone as soon as I started my journey! I'm quite adept at putting rude people in their place and no one has had the nerve to ask any rude questions!! Also I know a lot of really nice people.... Everyone who has said anything to my face has been very supportive. They've watched me gain 60 lbs over the last 8 or 9 years, when I was already too fat. And I straight up said that I could lose 30 lbs on my own, but I would just gain that back and more.... And since I need to lose at least 150 lbs I need help losing it, and I need help keeping it off. And I'm ready for a major change. Also I think most of the ladies I know want to marry me off when I get skinny.... but I ain't having none of that!!! :-) hehe

I tell every one. I did not right out post it on my facebook on any thing but every one at work knows as many helped me on my journey to get approved! They are all excited, and some even jealous cause they want it too!! I can not wait to get mine done. I think once it is know, you have a bigger support system and you are able to hold your self to higher standards and have more motivation to succeed. Telling people for me was like a reminder that FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION....

I too have told everyone close to me and have also talked alot about it on my Facebook page. Thus far, I haven't had any major issues. I had one person comment about it being the easy way out. I sent them a nice message about it not being the "easy" way out....In that email I also sent them a link to a youtube video about Lapband and the struggles of it....I have not lost any friends yet due to my decision, but I have not been banded yet either. My surgery date is Feb 14th...My thought is this...If you no longer want to be friends with me after lapband,then we never really were friends. What "friend" doesn't want to see you happy and healthy? What "friend" doesn't want to make sure that you are still here many years from now for all of those people that mean the most to me? I am gettin lapband...It changes my body...NOT my heart OR my personality!!! (This is just my thought)

I read a blog and the girl didnt tell her friend and then the friend stopped talking to her because she thought they shared everything and was hurt.

I am ALWAYS the fat friend even when I wasnt that fat. I told my 2 closest friend and my 2 neighbours because I actually see them more than my best friends since they live next door. I told the girl I always have brunch with - since this will effect our monthly feeding frenzy and my 2 mommy friends since I see them everyday.

I have 4 birth sisters who I have not told - I am unsure how they will react or if they will derail ( I think 2 of them secretly like being the thin ones - they'll give me the better hubby and better life because they are always the thinner ones but Im sure that will change if I borrowed cloths) and I've decided if I tell one I will have to tell all - so Im not telling right now. I told my birth mom - she's very sick and I was worried that she would live to see me thin so I told.

I told my parents and they shockingly helped to pay for it but not my in-laws.

I told my husband - but Im predicting he'll be useless - he never gets the food thing so I can not talk with him - it doesnt feel natural sharing this with him.

I talked with my kids about it - they dont care that Im fat - they love me anyway but I think they are excited at the prospect of me doing more stuff with them. I dont think the little one gets it.

I told my boss because I had to book of time and Im a really bad at lying so I thought she would assume Im lying about something else when I ask for the time off. I have asked her not to tell but Im sure she has - Im not telling anyone else so we'll see how many she tells that cant hold it in...

Its a very personal decision - I chose the people I needed to know - people who would be supportive and for most part people I see all the time. I put alot of thought into who I was telling - I am super chatty but felt very different with this information. This is very personal and I dont want people poking in out of curiosity - I want love and support without alot of questions. I would rather share here and through blogging with people who get it - It feels safer and more at home when you dont have to explain how you got fat and why.

My advice is do what feels right. I have stopped mid sentence and changed the information because it didnt feel right telling that person. You'll know whats right for you too.