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Why do people think you are crazy when you tell them your considering WLS?

I have only told a few people about my pending WLS, and don't understand why people think I am crazy!! I keep hearing are you crazy' and "don't you know the risks"? My hubby is very supportive - but even my mother thinks I am crazy for considering WLS. I'm am having surgery-I am doing it for my health and to get my life back! Has anyone else experienced this reaction from friends? :angry:

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  • Banterwonder
    Banterwonder

    I think it is really important to seriously consider who you tell about the decision to get banded. I have only told husband. No one else will know. I just don't want to deal with the questions and co

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Thank you guys for the positive words!! I really am glad I have found this site_ and the support everyone offers here!!! I have decided not to tell anyone else about my WLS-if they ask_ I am on a diet-thats it !!!:P

I have been counting the days until I have insurance that will cover WLS. The few who know are very supportive with 1 exception. My ex, he says I can't do it, can't learn to eat slower and will only end up looking old. A friend of ours had LapBand and now has lines & creases in her face. I asked her if that upset her to look older,(took me months to work up the nerve to even ask) her response: " Roni we are in our 50's we should have some lines! The fat we had kept our faces looking younger and our hearts & bodies deathly older. I did it once and I'd do it again in a NY minute!"

Admittedly there is a lot of negative stories out there, but from what I could find, (and I have been reading up on this for 2 years) they were addressing By-Pass not Banding. Even my doctor says I NEED this. I have been ignoring my ex's comments, and in fact have not told him I have my initial Dr. Appt. Nor will I tell him when I have surgery. We are still friends, but his putting down my ideas, suggestions, etc. is one of the very reasons he is my ex.

Do for YOU. What is best for YOU, your health and your well being. Those telling you all the "bad stuff" may just be afraid to do it themselves and are actually jealous of your personal strength.

Roni

Those aren't wrinkles - they are CHARACTER lines earned from living life! :)

I have been counting the days until I have insurance that will cover WLS. The few who know are very supportive with 1 exception. My ex, he says I can't do it, can't learn to eat slower and will only end up looking old. A friend of ours had LapBand and now has lines & creases in her face. I asked her if that upset her to look older,(took me months to work up the nerve to even ask) her response: " Roni we are in our 50's we should have some lines! The fat we had kept our faces looking younger and our hearts & bodies deathly older. I did it once and I'd do it again in a NY minute!"

Admittedly there is a lot of negative stories out there, but from what I could find, (and I have been reading up on this for 2 years) they were addressing By-Pass not Banding. Even my doctor says I NEED this. I have been ignoring my ex's comments, and in fact have not told him I have my initial Dr. Appt. Nor will I tell him when I have surgery. We are still friends, but his putting down my ideas, suggestions, etc. is one of the very reasons he is my ex.

Do for YOU. What is best for YOU, your health and your well being. Those telling you all the "bad stuff" may just be afraid to do it themselves and are actually jealous of your personal strength.

Roni

Thanks, Jacqui, you always put it in perspective...you are absolutely right...obese people are dying and dont know it! Obesity is beginning to almost be considered normal! (mainly in the US I think).

Hey wrinkles can be fixed too :)

I know what you mean... I heard a lot of crap for having it done, even though they told me I looked good ? :blink:

Weather they liked it or not, or approved of it or not. I did it for me ! I planned on living a while.

Now people are starting to tell me that I look good again, and the biggest NSV that I got the other day,

was that someone wants to come over to my house, and talk to me about the Band, Because they have seen the success,

that I have had, and they know that I did the right thing.... How's that for a Twist in the Band Story.

Shirley, Thanks for the positive twist!

The thing is, this surgery is so safe and so minor compared to some of the surgeries that can result from obesity! Personally, and unfortunately, losing weight and getting healthy didnt stop me getting rectal cancer, but in theory, obesity is a risk factor in colorectal cancer, and if you dont have the genetic predisposition that I have, then you may very well prevent it by getting control of obesity early in life - another reason why it is NOT insane to consider banding even in your teens. Or would you rather avoid such a "drastic" surgery? Hmmmm, would you prefer to fry your pelvic organs with radiation and chemotherapy, render yourself infertile and with multiple future potential issues due to radiation damange, endure an 8 hour marathon in which your rectum is removed and an ileostomy created, follow up with nine months of wearing a lovely bag to poo in, whilst having chemotherapy followed by another op to close it all and spend the rest of your life with annoying frequency and super duper sensitive bowels but feel thankful that at least you beat cancer? IF you beat it, that is. If it doesnt show up again in a few years time, either recurring, or metastising somewhere else in your body.

People just dont realise how dangerous and deadly obesity is. This could just as easily be heart disease, you could have a stroke and not die, that would be even worse, you get to be a vegetable, perhaps even in a nursing home at a young age. Or physically disabled as a result. Perhaps you'd prefer to lose a few toes to gangrene due to diabetes? Or perhaps you kind of like to simply wallow in the misery of being fat, an object of denigration and disgust from those more fortunate, avoiding social situations because you cant blend in, dont have anything to wear and cant muster up enough self esteem and enthusiasm to even try to remain connected to the world. Or you could be the opposite, the fat jolly, pour the rolls into something super tight and short, put on too much makeup and go out and pretend its all normal, cheering on those stupid "i love my curves, I'm a real woman" obese women who pop up now and again to cheer on the cause. I dont get how people can bury their heads in the sand over their fatness, it is literally going to kill them and yet they think we're crazy for having weight loss surgery? That is NO way to live our lives, not when a simple less than an hour, light anaesthetic, very safe procedure can give us what we need to overcome this disease.

i couldnt of said it better myself ! im still waiting to see if insuance covers me, so ive only told a few people that i might get banded, so far only one was negative. she lost weight several years ago with diet and exercise. im happy for her, but obviously it didnt work for me. What gets me is nobody would make a negative comment if i said i was going in for heart surgery or to repair a broken leg, but you mention WLS and all of a sudden you get negative comments. why wouldnt somebody want you to have a healthy body? i dont get it!

i couldnt of said it better myself ! im still waiting to see if insuance covers me, so ive only told a few people that i might get banded, so far only one was negative. she lost weight several years ago with diet and exercise. im happy for her, but obviously it didnt work for me. What gets me is nobody would make a negative comment if i said i was going in for heart surgery or to repair a broken leg, but you mention WLS and all of a sudden you get negative comments. why wouldnt somebody want you to have a healthy body? i dont get it!

Even though we are all different ! (and we are) short, tall, fat, skinny, whatever. Obesity is not exceptable in our society...

You should be able to Diet, and eat like a Human, Not a animal, HA ! and lose weight. That is excepted.

We all know it doesn't work that way ! So because they (WHOEVER YOU RUN ACROSS) have not been educated in W L S.

They think we are crazy for going to extreme's.

I want to live ! That's a good enough reason for me.

I'm not trained in Braille (hope I spelled that rite) But I believe that the Blind have the rite to read, and continue on further, and live a total life.

That we learned to except. It took time,, vs. locking them in a house, and letting them just feel there way around, and count how many steps to a Door.

It did use to be that way . T.V came out with adds saying we can help these people, and there entitled to a life. It Worked ! It took time, but it did work...

They need to hit the T.V. with before and after shots of success stories, and explain why we just can't lose weight like the average person, but ! there is help. Then show and explain how it works.

I think in time it would work, and educate the people who know nothing about this at all..

My surgeon at Henry Ford Hospital. Does a educational piece for the public on a program titled The Minds of Medicine. Look up Bariatric Surgery, and you could see what they do in the surgical room, and he explains about the surgery. It's a good piece, but you need more on regular T.V...

This is a Why ??? would you want to do that ?? type of surgery. People need to be educated. This is like a different form of a Cancer. It will Kill you in time, and that my friend is a legitimate reason to me, for surgery.

Shirley.

As i lost weight I definitely got some wrinkles on my face and in some other weird places...I think they are well-earned and I know I look better!

Ditto !

Omg!!! I was having the upper GI done and the doctor asked why are you having lap band surgery? I said because I'm obese. Jessie you're not obese. I said my bmi is 35, I'm 5'2" and I'm 190 lbs. He gave me a judgmental look and went got started. If he thought that would change my mind then he was sooooo wrong.

So if you were 225 pounds it would be ok? WTF!!! You are doing it to NOT get to a bmi of 40 or more. I have been lucky all the doctors that I have seen (mostly ones my surgeon referred me to) have been very supportive of my decision and they all think its great that we are being proactive.

Omg!!! I was having the upper GI done and the doctor asked why are you having lap band surgery? I said because I'm obese. Jessie you're not obese. I said my bmi is 35, I'm 5'2" and I'm 190 lbs. He gave me a judgmental look and went got started. If he thought that would change my mind then he was sooooo wrong.

BTW my surgeon yesterday told me that the lapband procedure takes him 20 minutes to put it in! That is minimal time to be under anesthsia. These procedures are not what they use to be when they would have to cut someone down their torso.

This is from Dr. Robert Anthony book "Beyond Positive Thinking"

(1) "don't listen to others who are coming from fear and living in negativity. If you do, you are using YOUR creative powers to help THEM manifest what they fear."

In New York ...we would just say "F*ck 'Em" ....LMAO

Do you! It's no ones business.

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