I havent started yet, but wanted to get the thread made so i wont forget..

Nykee: This post is sent with all the love and support I can give you.

>>>>>>>I KNOW. I DO> I am defensive of my situation NOT of you caring and sharing and posting to me!!!!

Please don't take offense to anything I am saying here but honey you are definetly taking in way too many calories and certainly WAY too much sugar. If I were to eat like you are I would not be losing weight.

>>>>>>>>>>My weightloss will prolly stop when i get beyond a certain level too.. Hopefully I will be able to make better chocies by then, havent been able to in 20 years.. but hey, maybe some weight loss will help that.

I too have lived on $300 in food stamps for myself and 4 small children so I know how difficult it can be. IT SUCKS!! But if I remember your children are teenagers and more specifically they are 18 and 19 is that correct? If that is accurate then they can certainly fend for themselves for meals. It is TIME to start taking care of NYKEE.

>>>yeah, well they take care of me.. I dont really know what you mean.. my son works and my daughter is in college and we do have to buy more food than the foodstamps I get.. BUT MY KIDS ARE NOT READY TO leave, they DO fend for themselves in food. I dont cook, and I only sometimes do the shopping (like once a month)

Find a Farmer's Market that accepts Food Stamps. They are out there.

Find a Co-op that you can barter with for fresh veggies. They are out there.

>>>>>>My town doesnt have that stuff. but I been in towns that did and sometimes I went.. Just cuz they are there doesnt mean I will use them and do the right thing.

You say you are bored.

>>>>Hey I figured out why I keep saying that..I am not sipping on my cup of milk and juice all day cuz my fill is tight and its making me bored... that sounds crazy, but not really .. like a smoker who deosnt know what to do with themselves.

I have been there as well. IT TOO SUCKS!! But find something you LIKE to do. Get up and do it.

>>>OK

Stop finding excuses to NOT do things.

>>>OK

No one can fix your issues but you.

>>>NEVER said otherwise

We here can offer all the support and encouragement there can be and it does no good if it falls on deaf ears.

>>so you decide its falling on deaf ears..?

I respect your situation cause I have been there. I know what it is like to want a better life for your children and the frustration because it seems hopeless.

My life is not so bad,My kids have an obese mother.. and the shit that goes with it.. I COULD break out ALL that is GOOD and it will outshine MANY.. BUt I dont do that at places like here, I save the internet for my neggatives..

IT ISN'T hopeless unless you let it be.

I am sooooooo far from hopeless.. I dont mean to make it sound that way,.

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE IT. And when you realize that the possibilities are endless.

>>so true

OK if I haven't succeeded in pissing you off then know that I have the utmost respect for you and believe that you can succeed in whatever you want out of life.

I almost never get mad.. I LOVE it when people show me they know a thing or two.. ignorance makes me sad.

thank you

JACK)

So please....apply what you know to what you do...

girl)

OK, since you said please.

(((HUGS)))

FEB 6th

The whole day I have been restricted. Right now I am going to bed, But that doesnt ensure I will actually sleep and not eat anything else,.. BUt if I dont, that will be a good thing.. CUZ.. I finally have low calories.. I didnt eat right, AT ALL... BUt the band is working not to let me pig out.

12pm

1 ounce of milk (I took this drink right before I left the house.. I made gurgling noises for over an hour on the milk and then it was obvious I was making the little noises over my saliva)

2;30pm

Two little bites of mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC (Here I was trying to see if I could eat somthing more solid and maybe fill my pouch without risking it on anything solid.. it didnt work, It still felt funny and I had to put it away.

3pm to 5pm

I tried some broth (2 bites)

I tried some chocolate chips (a few)

I tried a bite of mashed potatoes again (one bite)

I ended up eating a few chocolate chips, (1/4 a cup)

6pm to 7pm

1 reses pb cup.

1.5 cups carmel corn (My daughter brought one home from the coast along with the carmel corn and It took me an hour to eat this much and I didnt dare drink with any of it.. BUt FINALLy I got something yummy.. LOL)

8pm

Slice of procesed cheese

Tomatoe Soup, 1/2 cup

9pm

rest of the can of tomatoe soup

one slice processed cheese

10pm to 12pm

2 cups nesquick

1.5 cups 1% milk

Half a serving of almonds

1am: NOW.. going to bed

Fitday

calories.. 1698

fat....74

carb 209

Protein.. 59

Well, I ate more after 10pm cuz I never went to bed after all.. But hey I am still down alot of calories and I got my protein in.. lol

Soooooooooooooooooooo TONIGHT after I got off, I got pains and alittle bit of blood, so Its official,, I AM on my period.. and THUS, I am atributing these last two days of extra tightness to my period and will wait for it to subside.

Plus for some reason knowing I am on my period and thats causing the tight restriction, I am less worried and I THINK I am gonna be able to go on a nice liquid diet while I am tight.. HOPEfully i can stay around 1500 calories for a few days? I DONT KNOW, just wrtiting down goals makes me feeel like a fool, cuz I never stick with them. WE WILL SEE.

Goals for tomarrow.

Dont sip anything before appointments.

Do the 1 oclock and the 2 oclock

Go grocery shopping

Try to have some juice (4pm?)

See how it goes..

Have tomatoe soup and parm if possible for dinner

Have milk and juice the rest of the night

Have SHERBERT NOT CHOCOLATE OR CANDY

Dont munch on chocolate chips

Revel in the deprivation and feel good your such a cool bitch for it.

Feb. 7th

4pm

4 cheddar chips

5pm-6pm

One sugar free caremel

25 frito twist chips

1/8 cup sour cream

2 cups chocolate milk

6 tp 7pm

1 cup roasted red pepper soup

1 tbs PArm

2 cups chocolate milk

7pm

6 reses Cookies

7:15

4 ounces grape juice.

I am already over 1500 caloried..

THIS IS ONLY SO FAR and I have a bad feeling I am going to eat alot more. (went grocery shopping.. bought cheesecake and strawberries)

I got antiinflamitories this afternoon..

and I think they worked TOO much.. LOL

They worked WAY too well.. Its almost like I am not banded again.

SERIOUSLY

I had about 6 cups of grape jucie..

4 cups of 1% milk

A slice of pizza (the WHOLE THING..crust and all)

A bowl of my soup with the chicken, NOT any hesitation on the chicken at all.

Half a slice of cheese cake

1/4 cup sweetened strawberry juice

1 sliced strawberry in the jucie.

This went right throught he band.. I drank the milk WITH THE PIZZA AT THE SAME TIME..

The antiinflaimitory treatment today.. loosened me WAY WAY up.

At leaste that prooves I am indeed swollen..and very suseptible to swelling..

I will do the fit day later .. its sure to be my highest yet..

I bet close to 4000 calories..

FITDAY

Calories 3858

fat 115

carb 596

Protein 121

baddness

That antiinflamitory shot lasted till about now.. LOL

I had some Soup and I can feel the restriction again..

I will take some of the meds again tonight! ITs a good plan!

I WANT TO POST THIS>. I KNOW my food log SUCKS.. and people MUST wonder how I could ever post it, mUch less eat that way..

THIS IS PARTY WHY:

PREBANDING HABITS FOR THE LAST DECADE: AND up until the day before banding (minus a low carb diet for pre op)

I HAD to have fast food daily, many times more than once..

I would feel all uptight and maybe three days a month I couldnt get something..

If I couldnt get my little cheeseburger or rodeo burger, KFC snacker's, cheese curds, taco's, nachos, chicken sands, onion rings, corn dogs, burettos, TOO MUCH TO LIST. (one thing, not all things each day, lol)

Fries with 4pack MAYO, 1 mustard and 4 Ketsup.. I would cry if the mustard was absent.ect... If the fries were cold I would cry.. I would blame others, I would be a bitch to everyone.

I would buy many items to keep in the house to heat up.

Breakfast egg Muffins, hershey pies, cheeseburgers.

I would throw food across the room if I didnt get what I wanted, I begged people to make runs to get me these fast foods. I was so picky and everything had to be exactly how I wanted or I felt abused or hurt.

I HAD TO DRINK ALL DAY LONG. and night(not alcohal)

I had a rootbeer float or a coffee drink or a smoothie everyday, minus maybe 4 times a month. Sometimes 2 or 3. I had to have one or feel sad.

I could drink 1 to 5 slurpies a day in the summer. I to 5 a week in the winter. I have drank 10 slurpees in a day a few times.

I drank a gallon of milk and/ or juice per day. EVERY DAY, sometimes more.

There had to be milk in the house at all times and everyone made sure of it, daily ritual. It came before toilet paper if need be..

If I was out of juice and no one would get me some I would cry and feel extreme anxiety.

I would gulp it like a maniac with tons of ice in order to feel alive.

I am still addicted to juice and milk to this day.

GOING OUT TO EAT MORE THAN THE RICH FOLK DO!

I went out to china, resturants, KFC, buffets, about 4 times a month. THATS ONCE A WEEK.

I always took someone with me. I would take one kid or one friend at a time, so I benifited going each and every time.

I would spent bill money on it unable to resist. I did this all the time..

I spent money we couldnt afford on pizza and delivery of China food ALL the time. Pizza was in the house NO less than once a week.

I would seriously be holding the money, knowing i cant afford it, it was a HUGE mistake and the food was just too tempting. Utilites were shut off, lanlords didnt get paid..

Groceries in the house

The house food I ate was corndogs, nachos, frozen foods galore, quiche, candy, chips and Cookies, crap cerial, cheese, lunch meat, hotdogs, bagels and cream cheese..

We made a simple meal once a month on average.

Then it was a frozen lasangue or spegetti or chilli or parm Pasta with shrimp, a salad from a bag and a premade french bread roll.

I HATE POSTING THIS..

THIS was my life THE DAY before banding.

So, I cant help but feel alot better, about my food logs.

But I know I need to move further..

THANK YOU FOR LISTNing.

I am reposting this on my food log..

THANKS Jack.. that means alot to me..

THANK YOU.. You do the same for me.

I COULD be so out of control still that I would still eat like that and PB all the time and refuse to get tight fills,.,.and go ALL OUT when I have open moments..

BUT i dont.. I look at my prebanding life and I feel I have come a long way.

I do really well during the day, but last night I screwed up again. I was only supposed to have 1/2 of a tuna salad (the enormous take-out kind with heaps of tuna salad, olives & shredded cheese.) But my husband also ordered pizza, so I had a slice. Soon I finished the entire salad plus 1.5 slices pizza. I wasn't stuffed, so I had my cup of pudding. Then I was stuffed, so I ate another big bowl of pudding. Then a couple hours later I felt so bad that I ate 2 handfuls of potato chips.

I realize what I did wrong, but I lose willpower at night and eat past my caloric needs. I am not shocked or surprised that I still weigh almost 240 pounds. Letting go of the night time food drives me crazy.

It would be easier to not eat at night if I didnt open up so much!

Your doing great delarla, you'll make it.

Feb. 8th

Middle of the night

2 cups grape juice

7am

2 cups nesquik chocolate milk

11am

1/2 cup chicken fajita corn chowder

1 cup milk

12pm

3 ounces Limeaid

1:30

1/2 cup Roasted redpepper soup

1tbs parm cheese

1 cup milk

5pm

6 resses Peanut Butter Cookies

2 cup milk

6pm

1/2 cup slit pea soup

6:30

half serving almonds

6:45

2 cups nesquick chocolate milk

9:40

4 ounces white milk

NOW?

Small slice of frozen pizza (maybe.. gonna try here in a sec)

EDIT (didnt work.. not gonna bother fixing it on fitday though)

Calories: 2837

fat, 91

carbs 385

Protein 104

This really shows how the milk and juice consumption kills me.

this is why I strive for a tight fill becasue I DO need to be restrcition on milk and juice. I am not able to find the control to stop on my own.

I would strongly recommend getting off the high-calorie beverages. Grape juice is nothing but sugar. Drink Water, or no-calorie flavored water. Never drink any milk unless it's nonfat. That will cut out a lot of sugar and calories for you every day.

Have you tried eating any vegetables?

Nykee, I hope you realize a fill that would restrict your liquid intake would be extremely dangerous. Please don't ask a physician to do that.

It's clear you know you're addicted to these liquid calories. You also know there are many alternatives. When you're ready, you'll make a switch. :hug:

I took the 40mg of antiinflitories last night and either it wasnt enough or It wore off.,.

The shot they gave me lasted 24 hours..!!!

Tonight I will take the 60mg he reccomended.

Reminder: I am trying to get my AM restrcition lessoned becasue in the AM I have a hard time with even liquids and then my night I am open enough to eat all kinds of crap and drink alot. I need less extreem tightness. IF I can get this extreem AM restrition taken care of, only then can I take care of PM openness where I have such a hard time limiteing my intake.

Alexandrea)

I have had my liquid restrcited for many months.. and only when I had these good fills

Its restrcited right now, Its 4pm and I cant get down tomatoe soup and milk yet, I am sipping real slow and having many gurgles. (I woke up at noon however)

I need it to be this way.. I DONT go too far and drink it anyway and get chest pains or PB, and by 9pm or midnight, I will be able to eat..

SO ITS FINE, IMO

If I was drinking a gallon of milk and juice per day and MORE (slurpees, smoothies, ect..) than I think limiting my liquid intake is a fine idea.

I would not limit it so much that it causing my band abuse, or malnut5rition or dehydration.. I dont feel I am doing anything that wrong..

Its not regualr I realize, its a special curcumstance. I KNOW I should not use this as the way to lose weight and I should use my self control and such, BUT I am doing what I can do, and I cant seem to find any control as I have been trying for a long long time and I STILL do try... the minute my band opens up I gulp as much milk and juice as possible.. I would NEVER lose weight if I didnt do it this way and my band will of been a waste... so I just HAVE to do it this way.. I amm sorry, But I really am being as smart about it as possible..

Jack, I can swallow chewed food! Just not until night time..

if it was like midnight.. and I chewed real well, I could eat some steak.. (though I have no desire to)

It seems like trouble to you BUT I dont have any trouble.. I dont PB or anything like that, so IMO its FINE.

gadgetlady, I agree with everything you say, I sometimes can have corn (in soup) and I like salad but for some reason I cant eat it anymore.. it feeels funny.. mostly, I guess I have never been much into veggies, ever..

anca1225, Thanks, that was an intereresting article.

Feb. 9th

I am getting sick of doing this, it the same thing everyday..

This is my last food log for now

Until I change some habits and want to see how it plays out..

Here is the list for yesterday

7 cups of 1% milk

1 cup roasted red pepper soup

1 tbs parm

5 reeses peanutbutter Cookies

6 cups of Cherry limeaid

half a cup of nacho cheese sauce

6 nacho chips

2 small bowls of cocoa krispies cerial

Half a sandwitch, cheese, ham, lettace, mayo, half slice bread

3 no sugar carmels

3 coconut candies

2 cubich inch of cheesecake

1/2 cup sweetened strawberries and sauce

calories 3390

fat 106

carbs 547

Protein 93

I am weighing my self on the official scale on the 14th...

I want to be 340 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (75 pounds loss in one year)

IF I am not, I am going to be PISSEd but um NOT shocked.

I needed somewhere to talk about my cookie and candy. I will NOT be angry with myself. We get a huge annual tray of homemade frosted Cookies and truffles every Valentine's Day. I had already finished my steamed veggies and 4 ounces cottage cheese, so I allowed myself one cookie and one truffle.

I'm stuffed (I swear, I still have a pouch/band.) I want to be "okay" with having one treat. I WILL NOT GO BACK TO THE HUGE TRAY HEAPING WITH PLENTY OF COOKIES TO BINGE ON. I enjoyed one, and that's that.

Nykee, I applaud you for your honesty! That has been the hardest thing for me. Being honest about what your eating is the only way to make positive changes. I know I battle with this everyday! I think my fill is almost as tight as yours. I think we got our last fills about the same time. Good luck to you Nykee!

Plus it looks like we were banded around the same time too...

I prolly wont eat much as I am going out this weekend..

But the calories in the alcohal is sure to make up for it.

I feel like weighing in sooner.. its hard to wait till tuesday!