I know I don't post a lot and I guess this is not the place but I am so angry and sad about what happened and I found out today.

I went to the Dr. For my first Infertility consultation. We have been trying for 3 years to no avail. I head up to the front of the line and the woman is coaching a new emplyee about the procedures ect.

Well when I come up I give her my medical card and she says very loudly. "Oh she is here for infertlilty!" I am a little taken aback...but never the less I begin to give her my $10 co pay. So she says Loudly again, "Oh you don't pay up front for Infertility! Your district (I am a school teacher) covers 50% which is great for INFERTILIY"

Now mind you I am not a shy person but when 3 people turned and looked at me with that head tilt and ahhhh look... I could have killed her. So I say quietly to show her how discretion is done, "Oh okay when I get out then."

She then hands me this paper with all of the treatments and their costs (my co pay) and says louder, "See, she will just bring that back after she see the INFERTILITY DR!" It was like she was on a mission to make me cry. I walked away and while that was awful...

It gets worse because then the rest of the nurses were normal and I got in rather quickly to see the Dr. so I started to relax. Big Mistake. Have you ever had to get bad news from a Dr.... Well I have. I know the look. It's something about the eyes. They dont' quite look at you.

Well we were looking up my husbands sperm count... It was very bad. Not only was it a low count but most of them were not moving. So basically he is almost sterile. The Dr. ordered a new sperm count and told me some extraordinary things we could go through...but I just want to cry. I hold it in because while my husband's news is bad mine is just a little better... I have a late ovulation and that means the egg can't implant. Easily fixed though. So I am in a better spot. So after I come out I find out that my co -pay for my horrible news cost me $110. I payed money to find out my life is sucking right now.

Later after crying for awhile my husband comes home... and now I must tell him. This is the worst part. He is such a beautiful man. He supported me through canser/obesity/depression... and he feels like a failure. I hate seeing the look on his face. He says the only good luck he has ever had was marring me. I want him to feel better...but I don't know what to say. I have always imagined having a son that looked like him. He has this beautiful smile and I love his eyes... Don't get me wrong after three years we knew this was possible... and we have always wanted to adopt...but this is perminent... I am just really upset right now

Aw Rica, I just don't even know what to say but I'm so sorry. (((hugs)))

thanks kathy...that was enough

I'm sorry for your bad news today. Your husband sounds like a wonderful man. I'm sure you two will make great parents to some child in desperate need of loving parents.

((((((((HUGS))))))))

I'm so sorry the news was bad. Puddinpie is right - you're going to make wonderful parents no matter how you get there.

I'm so sorry Rica! ((((HUGS)))) My husband & I have suffered through 14 years of infertility. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

Rica,

There are no words that I can say, I'm very sorry. All I know is that there must be a reason. There must be a very blessed child that is going to be adopted by two wonderful people and that obviously is the plan.

Hang in there girl! And once you and your husband have had some time to try and deal with all of this emotionally, then start your plan for your new life *Hugs* Things will get better, heck look at everything you've already been through and look at where you are now!

Tricia

That must have been very hard news to hear, Rica. I'm so sorry.

Someday you'll be showing us baby pix of your new addition, and we'll smile right along with you.

It sounds as though you two have been through alot. Hang in there -- you are obviously a very strong woman and your marriage sounds full of love. The two of you can get by this together.......where there's a will there's a way.

So sorry to hear this but never give up.My first husband was diagnosed with the same thing and I only had a period every three to six months and very diabetic.We were told no children possible. Miss impossible is graduating in the fall and starting college next year Never give up anything is possible.Although sadly Richard and I divorced through no fault of my own.

I remarried a man that has four children.Now she has brothers and sisters.I pray that you will be blessed.

Linda

I'm so sorry Rica, I am sure with the love you have between you, things will work out and get better. Hugs!

Rica I have been through that for almost 13 years and 9 miscarriages and so been there and wanted to die at the ob/gyn and re and other crap! I am sorry. I will tell you that my problems greatly improved with weight loss and am almost normal - at about 180 lbs for my height. DH would never do the sperm count- won't even tell you what I did to get it- thank god it was normal! Caiuse he would never have participated!!! But there are a lot of no invasive things that they might be able to try for him- and I swear Eric only makes spermin October and May since he hit 35!

Good luck

and I swear Eric only makes spermin October and May since he hit 35!

LMBO. You have such a great sense of humor.

Rica...pay attention! I know you will be able to smile again. Everyone here has been so encouraging! You and hubby will make great parents, no matter how it happens! Lucky kids. God Bless You!

So sorry to hear of your bad news Rica and I know how hard it is on you emotionally of what your going through. It took 8 years and 5 inseminations from frozen sperm that I picked out of catalog from California Cryobank and 3 different doctors to finally get my oldest miracle. She is 8 now. As hard as it is, don't give up hope. No matter how you get your baby, it will happen...it will just take some time. PM if you need some support, advice or just to chat...I will be happy to talk to you.

Rica, I'm so sorry for both you and your husband in this difficult situation. I can't imagine how hard that news must have been to hear. I hope the two of you hold tight to each other and stay close and loving. It sounds like you will be wonderful parents, and I'm sure that somewhere a child is waiting and hoping for a home like yours. I pray that you will someday hold your child in your arms and share your joy with us. God can work in amazing ways. Hugs to you...

Emily

Hi Rica-

I just wanted to offer you support. I also suffered from infertility though it was all me- DH had a normal sperm count. I also had late ovulation though and clomid with monitored IUI's was able to help with that. I conceived my son on the 4th try.

Regarding your husband- Did the doctor offer you any advice or insight on what to do next? A low sperm count can often be improved by Vitamins, lifestyle changes and sometimes even surgery. I am a long time member on a fertility website called: www.tcoyf.com I suggest you go there to the message boards. There is a whole section on male factor infertility and plenty of women going through what you and your husband are going through.

Take care.