Just got home from the Endo test.

I have cried and now all I am is numb. TO those that I have already spoken with thank you for your words of encouragement.

Yes, I have eroded as well. I am enclosing pictures of the erosion.

Dr. Billy seems to think mine eroded due to all the problems I had with my port issues. That makes lots of sense to me.

He also said he didn't see the erosion on the initial pass through and only caught it after the turned the camera around and looked back on itself. It was hiding the little bugger. You can see that in the second page of pics Number 16 shows the slight white area to the right.

SIGH!! I am making this short as I am rushing to get everything in order before I go back to Ventura and get checked into the hospital for surgery which is tonight at around 7p. I will be in the hospital for tonight, tomorrow, and be released the next day if all goes well. We are not anticipating any complications. He is doing the surgery laparoscopically. Thank goodness I don't have to be cut wide open for this surgery.

At this point, I am just wanting to get this thing OUT and begin to heal and then get through the holidays. After that I will think about what my options are regarding anything else.

I will be out of touch for a few days. I will call Christina or Lisa and let them know how I am doing and they can post for me.

I love you all.

PS: Take care of your bands people. FOLLOW the rules. If you are too tight get an unfill and learn to cope. PLEASE!!!!!! This is too much to deal with right now. I am a mess.

HUGS

Pictures to follow.

Lisa: THat is right I am touched and overwhelmed by all this outpouring of love and compassion. I just love LBT. I will stay here as well. Just because I don't have a band anymore doesn't mean I won't bug the heck outta you guys. LOL!!

Can't get rid of me that easy.

No I did not have any symptoms other than I just didn't feel right. Nothing to pinpoint just didn't feel like things were ok in there. I am fortunate enough to have a doctor that is understanding and listens to me. He scheduled the endo right away and then set up the surgery before we ever left the GI Lab. He is awesome.

I am having band complications and it was originally placed in mexico. Sometimes at night I wake up choking from acid coming up from my stomach.I burp constantly and everything pretty my much gets stuck. I am unable to eat any substantial food without throwing up. I have been living off of coffee and ice cream(once a day so that I am not weak). I am trying to get down to Mexico for an unfill. I wonder if this may be slippage or erosion. Has anyone else had these types of experiences?

Penni, I'm sorry I wasn't around when you were going through all this. You are a great support to everyone here, and now we can return the favor. This SUCKS, though. (((hugs)))

I am having band complications and it was originally placed in mexico. Sometimes at night I wake up choking from acid coming up from my stomach.I burp constantly and everything pretty my much gets stuck. I am unable to eat any substantial food without throwing up. I have been living off of coffee and ice cream(once a day so that I am not weak). I am trying to get down to Mexico for an unfill. I wonder if this may be slippage or erosion. Has anyone else had these types of experiences?

Cali, did you get your unfill? You sound too tight to me. If you have a flouro fill in MX you will know whether or not you have slipped. You need an endoscopy to test for erosion. Get that unfill!!!

Zoe, thanks for the post.

Quick Update: This has been and is the worst time in my life. I am a basket case but yet put on this smiley face for everyone. I can't stand this.

I am hungry ALL the time.

I hate food

I love food

I am hungry ALL the time.

I hate food

I love food

Get the picture?

I am gaining weight back. THat is the scary part. I guess I am gonna have to talk to my therapist again. UGH!! Just more money. But if I don't do something I will balloon back to 300 and then I will withdraw from life again. I don't want that to happen.

I had a good friend call me today and be very sweet and kind and offer her genuine support and belief that I can get through this and I will win the battle. THis touched me so much that I was on the verge of tears. I just don't have that same belief and trust in myself. She asked me to promise (commit) to doing 30 min of exercise tonight. I couldn't even do that. How sad is that? I love you friend. You have touched me deeply.

I have ordered Nurtisystem food and just waiting for it to arrive. I am trying desperately to be GOOD but man is it hard.

I envy Lisa her restriction. I can eat anything. I do mean anything. This is almost worse than when I was before banding. Before banding I didn't realize just how much I was eating. Now post banding I see and understand almost everything I eat is bad for me. Knowledge can be a bad thing. LOL!!!

Anyway, thanks for listening to me rant. I will get through this some way. I have been praying for the courage to face my demons every day. Some days I win and some days they win. And so it goes.

Hugs!!

Penni, I wish I had the answer or the magical pill to end obesity. Just know that I (like a lot of others) am here for you if you need me. Since I quit my job, I lurk on & off all day & into the night. LOL! Damn! I hate that this happened to you! & to all the others that have eroded.......Jess

Penni, hugs from a newbie. So sorry to hear about all you've gone thru lately and hoping for the best for you. Please continue to post here & let us know how you are doing. We understand the food thing. I often wonder why life has to be so hard sometimes.

I wonder, does anyone know why this happens? Too tight, wrong placement, bad luck? And no real specific symptom to watch for?

Hang in there hon, we're all with you.

Thanks Jess and Diane: I am just so frustrated right now. I wanna eat healthier but it seems my head wants something totally different. So I have this constant battle every day with every meal. I am getting tired of the fight.

Alice the good demon wants me to eat healthy and stay away from all the bad stuff.

Buffy the bad demon encourages me to eat all the wrong foods.

Yes I call them both demons cause when it deals with food they are demons. I hate and love food.

Alice and Buffy are fighting constantly and it is driving me nuts. LOL!! As if I aren't already giving names to the battling demons. LOLOLOL!!!! Nope not nuts here.

Calgon take me away!!!

Since I hurt my back again (& have been having a pity party for myself), I have been dealing with the binge demons. And I suffered a 10 lb. weight gain because of them! I still have my band, but I feel your pain sista!

I still have phatom restriction, probably has something to do with my old hernia? But I feel it sliding away little by little. I'm hungry now, and a 400 calorie lunch doesn't sound so appealing. Penni, fight it! Run, Forest, Run!

Penni..I feel you girl, it is a struggle everyday..some how I have maintained but it has not been easy. You me and Lisa need to start a phone chain and call eachother whenever we have the urge to eat crap food..I have been journaling my food and that has helped me. I have OCD in a big time way and it has just intensified into not gaining this weight back which has helped but my damn house is a mess now LOL..Penni ..you know what to do, now just do it girlfriend! It's not easy but you can do this. We all can!

y'all do need to start a phone chain with each other. Has anyone heard from Francesca? I hope she's doing good!

Penni anything that I can do to help you let me know... You have been such a support and friend to me let me know...

Penni,

I don't know if they will allow me to post this, but I will for now. If you want to try something that will truly help you with that crazy feeling of uncontrol, you should try some supplements by a company called Advocare. I used them several years ago and lost 50 pounds and got pregnant (which I hadn't been able to do in 10 years of marriage). I gained my weight back because I had lost my job and couldn't afford to continue the program I was on. Plus, I had a post partum battle and the stress of a new baby was more than I expected. Hard on me, hard on the marriage. I eat when I'm stressed. But we're all better now.

Their website is www.advocare.com and yes they are multi level marketing. (But you don't have to sell it or tell friends if you don't want to. I'm a distributor, but only for the discount) If you are interested I think there is a way on the web sight to get the name of a person in your area who can get you a sample or info. They are 100% guaranteed unconditionally. You can take it for 6 months and if you decide they are crap you can ask for your money back. (I don't know why someone would do that but stranger things have happend.)

I am taking some of their products right now with my band. It has really helped with my energy level, food cravings, and vitamins. I also use their protein shakes and amino acid supplements. Feel free to im me if you have any questions.

They really are great products and may help you to get control and feel better.