So Im 4 days post-op and am sitting here at my computer and I just feel like crying. Im so ready to be able to eat something a little more solid. Im ready to start feeling better. Its not that Im in a lot of pain- Im just tired of being tired and weak. Im drinking a s/f carnation instant Breakfast that has Protein in it and Im sure I need to try and get more protein in but the thought of a thick Protein shake just makes me want to gag.

I guess Im also in mourning a little bit for the food that Im giving up for a while. The other day when I threw up after eating Jello I thought to myself "what in the world have I done? If I cant even hold jello down how in the world am I going to live the rest of my life and never be able to enjoy something that tastes good again?" Of course I know im being irrational- Im still completely swollen from surgery but food was my best friend before and I've lost that for the time being. I KNOW that I made the best decision for myself, my husband, and my kids but right now Im just having a pity party. I will be so glad when Im a month or two out and can look back on today and think it was just a blip on the radar screen. But right now Im struggling.

It also doesnt help that I havent taken my anti-depressant since before surgery. I might try to do that but im scared that I will throw it back up.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent. Did anybody else go through this feelings so shortly after surgery?

Hey Amber. Yes, Iv been going through this too. I had my surgery a week ago and after a really tough 1st 5 days of pain and discomfort I found out I had 2ccs's in my band that they left in there by "accident' while testing it. So once I got that drained last thursday within a day I felt like I barly had a band...I felt better pain and discomfort wise but starting getting hungry and Now im starving. I had a small breakdown yesterday while watching my husband and son chow down on wendy's chicken sandwiches and fries!! the funny thing is my husband hardly ever eats fast food so I was like WTF? I was so friggin hungry and I have been having a pity party too and crying a little. I just want to eat something really good and eat till Im full. Im tired of liquids and I still have a week to go until I can eat soft foods like mashed potatoes. I am really tempted though to start a little earlier. I start back to work tomorrow too so I am hoping that helps and keeps me busy and my mind off my sad no food story. I love food and miss it it actually scares me that I may not be able to eat what I want again and as much but I guess its a good thing:) hang in there!! you are so not alone....

Thanks Nicole! Im glad to know that Im not alone!

On a brighter note for today- THERE IS A FOOTBALL GAME ON TV! This makes me completely happy! I dont even care if it is pre-season! WOOT WOOT!

Yes! Dallas and Cinc, right? my husband is a huge Dallas fan! we will be watching. things will get better just got to get us through the next couple weeks or so.

I'm sending a virtual hug your way, Amber!! I was banded on 7/21, and I felt the same way a couple days after surgery. I was soooooo sick of Protein shakes- the thought of them literally turned my stomach! I had no energy and felt so weak. It will pass- I promise! As soon as I had my first soft food, I felt so much better. I felt like a new person! Just try and hang in there! It will pass, and you will feel back to your self. I know what you mean about kind of mourning the loss of food, too...there was more emotional stuff in the beginning than I expected. I still somewhat wish I could eat certain things, but once you pass to the soft food, that eases up too. Just keep reminding yourself that you did make the right decision for yourself and your family. Hope you feel better soon- I'm always here to talk to if you need someone! -Hayley

P.S. I'm from Cincy- GO BENGALS! Enjoy the game!

Edited August 8, 201015 yr by newbeginningmama/wife:)

I'm feeling the same way today. I wonder what I've done to myself. I know it will pass and I know I've made the right choice but I'm going through a lot of emotions right now and like you I've been off my anti depressant also. I really need it but the doc said I can't swallow it. Tomorrow I'm calling my PCP to ask for something else.

The surgeon told me to open up my Prozac capsule and just take the powder inside. Well I tried and that was the nastiest stuff ever. I spit it everywhere and it took forever to that nasty taste out of my mouth:(

I also feel like before getting banded food was an important part of my day. I spent a good bit of time eating, thinking about what to eat or cooking.

Now food is just a small little side line and will be the rest of my life. I find I have a lot more time on my hands and I'm not sure what to do with it. Does that make sense?

Sorry you are feeling down. I am a nurse and happen to know that most people experience after anesthesia blues. Depression after anesthesia is common, but does not last long. Try to get back on your antidepressants, and know that this too shall pass.

Hi ladies, I was skulking around over here on the post-op side since I will be here myself in three days. I'm glad to find this thread. I, too, have worried about this "loss" part of it. food has been a friend and such a comfort when the loneliness or stress hits. I know I am giving up so much when I get banded on Wed. However, I know that for myself I have to remember that I am also taking such a proactive choice for myself. I can't let go of this "friend" any other way that I have found in the last 3 decades and I know that this is what I have to do. So, I am now very much looking forward to the lapband because I know that this tool will help me to let go of this "friendship."

I hope this helps put a different perspective on it. You all are my heros since you have already done what I am just trying to do. Hang in there, I just know it's the beginning of something so great that we are all choosing to do with our lives!

I think you will find that the food you love is still available...but just in much smaller portions. Try not to think of anything as forbidden. There are things you will find that you won't be able to eat comfortably with a band...and the discomfort you get from them will make them far less desirable. I've started to realize...I knew this before but just in my head...that food is a fuel and I crave that which my body needs. So keep an eye on your nutrients and protein and if you need to feed your soul there will be room in the pouch. Right now you have a lot of adjusting to do and your body needs to heal. Almost everyone I talk to has gone through the blues...and for other operations as well.

Thanks guys! The only other major surgery I've had before was my 2 prior c-sections and I did have horrible depression after both of those but those were extreme circumstances and the reason why I refuse to get pregnant again. So I wasnt expecting to feel like this after an elective surgeyr that I have been so looking forward to.

But I called my mom, had a good cry, then got nauseous and did some dry heave/burping and then vomited once, then laid down to take a nap. (And let me tell ya- the dry heave burping combo is a doozy- I have never heard that kind of noise come out of anybody's mouth- it was like an exorcism was before performed! LOL!) Im feeling a little better now- I just wish this low grade fever would go away. Its never gotten above 99.5 so its nothing for me to call my doc about but Im wondering how long that will last?

Amber,

I had similar problems with my antidepressant but I got up the nerve, cut it into 4 pieces and took them one at a time. I am 5 days post op. After the third day without my meds, I was climbing the wall.

Hi Amber. I was just banded on Thursday. I have been having a hard time getting more then one shake a day in myself. Have you tried Isopure? I am finding it a bit easier on my stomach as it is a much thinner liquid. It has been a good way for me to supplement my protine so I can keep my strength up.

Best of luck to you.

Hi everyone,

Today is the first day that the pain in my shoulder hasn't driven me crazy. I hate taking the pain meds, but I usually give in twice a day. I might tonight so I can sleep for 4 hours or so. I've only been able to sleep two or so, then I have to get up to pee or try and shift and inevitably it feels like I've pulled a stitch. OWWW!! And I think I found my port, right on my waistline! I hope I'm wrong, but if I'm not, WTF, do I really want my jeans resting right on it??

I must still be swollen because I can feel the band if I swallow too much too fast. Honestly the idea of heaving or barfing (sorry Amber) just scares me blue! I'm just starting to get hungry...

OMG I just writhed through a cough attack! Picture this, fat black chick with scarred gut hanging out and pillow hugged to my abdomen as hard as I could while I tried not to cough and scream at the same time. Oh great, now my shoulder hurts again. *sigh*

Where was I, oh yeah bitching about being hungry. I know I'm not drinking the amount of Water I need to, nor the amount of Protein I need, I keep thinking when I feel better I'll start paying more attention to what I'm eating, but, uh, isn't this when the good habits should start?? I'm rambling, sorry.

The pity party should be winding up soon, I hope. We have to try and keep our spirits up, without our old crutch of food. Let me go dig out my favorite trashy romance novel and escape Keep your chins up!!

wickwit- too funny. I have had coughing episodes but fortunately for me it hasnt caused too much pain.

I KNOW Im not getting enough Water in or Protein but right now the thought of Protein shakes makes me want to puke. I could send DH to the store to get some ensure or slimfast but Im going to try and drink some of my carnation instant Breakfast and see if that helps. Im going to also do vegetarian vegetable Soup strained to get some more liquids in.

I know what you all are going through. I'm three days post-op and have definitely had my share of difficult times. The worst is going through the supermarket and wanting EVERYTHING -- then coming home and sitting down to a nice effing bowl of broth. So I hear ya, and I understand, and I'm going through it too.