I have thought about this for years. I recently had my consults and I was in limbo on if I should or shouldnt. I am self pay so fell sick over spending the money as well as (seems normal) beating myself up over why I cant just do this on my own.

Well, I literally JUST decided I am doing this. I was standing in my closet trying on anything and everything in hopes of finding something to wear in a family beach photo for an upcoming trip. Ya know that feeling...sick of all the elastic waist, black knit, nothing fits, everything looks so bad!? I was standing there-faking a smile- while my beautiful 3 year daughter watched me.

I AM DONE. I am ready to move on to a new life. I cant do this anymore and I need to do it now before I waste another day in that damn closet in a pile of elastic hoping my daughter doesnt notice how I feel about myself.

Now my question: I see what people say about returning to work but what about caring the the kids? My daughter is a snuggler and loves being held. Post op-when can I pick her up? When can I hold her if she gets into my lap herself. When will I feel able to care for her myself?

I am SO excited! I am scheduling surgery tomorrow! Yeah!

My doctor told me no heavy lifting until 2-4 weeks after your surgery. I have a 3 year old little girl, too and my husband travels. My surgery is in a week. I have lots of family near by so they are all going to come and help out with her. Plus my hubby is re-arranging his work schedule so he can be home. Hope this helps! Good luck to you! After reading your post I realized that you were saying my story. I think as parents we are making the best decision by taking care of "us" first. If we don't take care of us then who will be there for our children? Again, good luck to you and I wish you the best!

Jiggle - Congratulations on our decision! It will change your life! I think you'll have a good idea when you're ready to pick up your daughter. Just wait until your port incision is well healed and follow your doctor's advice. 4-6 weeks as Laura said is a good idea - just be careful while you're healing.

You sound like many of us when we finally get to the point where we've had enough. Look forward to the journey and your new life. It takes awhile, but very rewarding and life changing. I wish you the best!

I was banded on 6/30/10 and I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter with special needs. She does not walk and weighs 26lbs. I was very concerned about this! My doc told me no lifting for two weeks. Well, there were times about day 8 that I had no one else at home with me so I had to pick her up. I had no problems. It's been 3 1/2 weeks since surgery and I feel no pain or discomfort at all.

I have a 9 year old, 3 year old and 4 month old. I'm a stay at home mom and my dh works all the time.

I was told no lifting at all for at least a week. I can't even lift my baby:( But I have my MIL and my Mom helping me out with the kids. I just have to do this and I can't wait any longer.

I have kids too (6 yr old son and 4 yr old daughter). I would say you will feel up to caring for them yourself in about 4-5 days after surgery. If you can get someone to help you a whole week, even better, but I know that can be difficult sometimes.

At 3 years old, you can explain to her that you are having stomach surgery. I actually explained the whole lapband to my kids and how I was doing it to 'get healthy'. That might be a little much for a 3 yr old, though. You can explain to her that your tummy is gonna be sore for awhile and that you can't pick her up for a month so you need her to be a big girl for you. Practice now w/having her get in her own carseat (if she doesn't already) by putting a stepstool in the car to help her climb into it. I had to do this w/my son when he was just two because I was PG w/my second and not supposed to lift him. She's at a really good age because at 3 she will really be into the whole 'big girl' thing.

When you get home, show her your bandages and tell her you have booboos and that she has to be careful when cuddling you and hugging you. Don't worry, you'll still be able to cuddle and hug. She WILL accidently poke you wrong at some point, but you will scream ouch and she will learn.

Best of luck to you! Its the best decision I ever made. I have so much more energy for my kids now and along w/other lifestyle changes, I feel like I'm being a better role model for my kids as well.

I have a 3 year old son who doesnt take "no" for an answer. When he says "mommy hold me" I jump to attention. I was so worried about this.

My doc said that I really shouldnt pick him up for 2 weeks. I would sit and he would sit on my lap. I showed him my booboos on my belly and explained how I went to the doctor. He was/is fascinated with the booboos. He is not scared of them at all and likes to look at them and talk about them. You really need some help for 2-4 days b/c you will be so sore.

Also, my doc told me that while I may hurt my incisions or feel extra pain, I cant actually hurt my band. 7 days post op my son took one of those falls that requires an immedate pick up and I did it. I actually felt ok and just sat down with him right away.

Listen to your body, you will be fine.

I have two boys 22-mo & 4-years. My husband had to go back to work the day after my surgery. I didn't really have too much of a problem picking up the 1 year old. I had him walk to his changing table or to the high chair. I could then lift him vertically without actually having to lug him around. When I snuggled him I just made sure that he didn't lean on my belly.

Just be really careful and listen to your body. You should be fine, but if it hurts...don't do it!

I've been lifting up my 24lb dog since about 1 week post op- I know it's not recommended, I just try to use my legs and not lift with my back or abs.

(He's like my baby!)

No kids myself, but just wanted to comment kids are amazed by adults and boo boos. My sister and her daughter live with me. She was 7 last october when I was banded, so I showed her the pics of a band on line and explained. When I cam home she thought I was going to be skinny, so a 2nd round of explanations was in order.

She was amazed that I only had a small butterfly bandage, she was hoping for big gaping booboos like my mom had with her cancer surgeries! She likes to feel my port and walks around sticking her belly out saying, "Feel my port"!

If you don't make it scary, they won't be scared and at 3 I think your daughter will like to be your "nurse". Good suggestion about the car seat.

Congrats on taking this step. I am happy most days with the decision. So glad I did it.

Good post! I was actually concerned about this since my surgery is scheduled next week. I have a very affectionate 2 yr old and he likes to jump all on me, hug and kiss me and be in my arms. I plan on just showing him my boo boos and trying to get him to understand that I have to be careful. my surgery is on a friday so my mom is going to take him overnight than my husband will be home with me sat and sunday to help, after that Im on my own!! hopefully he doesnt sneak up on me in bed and jump on my stomach like he does now..that would suck:)

I have an 8 month old who weights 25lbs+ and I was carrying him around two days after surgery. (I was banded on 7/2). I haven't had any problems carrying him around.

The only problem is that little joker knows just how to kick me right in the port incission.

If you have a lot of family and friends around, it will be ok. I had major surgery when my children were 1 and 2.

I was so worried about not being able to lift and hold them, however, we were able to have a lot of snuggle time on the couch. They knew mommy wasn't feeling good and they were wonderful. In fact, your child is what will keep you plugging away and remaining positive and motivated. Your child will be fine. It's more important to your child that you are healthy mentally and physically. The few weeks you can't lift her is minimal to the significant benefits you will experience in the future.

My youngest was 3 when I got banded. That is well and truly old enough to understand that you cant lift for a while and that you are sore.

I had surgery on a Friday and of course had my DH home during the weekend. Then I was lucky that my parents are nearby so Doug took her to them on his way to work on the Monday Tuesday.

I explained to my daughter I couldnt pick her up but I was easily able to kneel or bend down and let her climb onto me. I wasnt so sore that she couldnt snuggle next to me or sit on my lap. It just wasnt a problem. And I only had my parents look after her for the simple luxury of having a nap during the days whilst the anaesthetic wore off, it really wasnt a big surgery and I coudl have coped without that.

I was back to full speed within three or four days anyway.