Hello guys---

Not a good post here from me but it's the truth and I need HELP.

I feel like a FAILURE in my weight-loss journey.

I've only lost 35 since my surgery 11/12/09. I am dealing with so many things and I really am struggling. I kinda lost my motivation and I am very depressed with my failure. I had 3 fills, and I keep postponing my fill appt's- I should have had 5 by now. I only have 3cc's in my band right now.

I don't exercise like I should- I drink ALL the time with my meals. What is WRONG with me!? I am not doing this on purpose to myself but I just can't seem to get OUT of this FUNK and get going with my journey. I feel that I do have food addiction problem, and I really am stuck in this funk- I was so excited for my lapband and now I am regretting it- I know it's ME that has to WORK it and make it work... I just CANT find the motivation and am screaming to get it back.

Any one of you going through this? How do you PUSH yourself to do better?

I am very jealous of all of your successions, BUT i am very proud of y'all! KEEP it up, please don't be like me! <3

Since the fills are the most important part of the band working, and you are postponing getting fills, do you think maybe your not ready to lose the weight? Or maybe you are afraid of change? Maybe your afraid to give up your favorite foods? When you postpone a fill what do you tell yourself? I hope you don't mind the questions.

Firstly lets say that a weight loss of 35lb would put you right on track. Remember that the band is designed to help you lose 1 - 2lb per week.So maybe if you look at that and realise that you are successful that you are not a failure it will give you a bit of a boost.

It sounds as though there are other issues that could impede your weight loss so I think going to see a psych that specailises in food addiction/eating disorders would be a really great idea. Maybe for some reason you are scared to be slim. Maybe you are hiding behind the weight.There are lots of possibilities.

I think part of the problem maybe that even though you were told that the band is only a tool you still somehow expected it to be a magical fix and for the weight to just drop off. Now that you realise that that's not going to happen you have to take responsibility for your success and start working with it.

If you find some kind of exercise that you like you are more likely to stick with it. You don't have to sweat it out in the gym - you just have to get active. You could try Zumba, dancing, cycling, walking, swimming ...............

I am sure that you can find something that you enjoy.

Once you have decent restriction you won't be able to drink with your meals as it will be too uncomfortable.

So get back on the bandwagon, go and see your Dr and get excited about how amazing you are going to look in a couple of months time.

The last time I went for my last fill, I gained 7 lbs. I am afraid to go again and see another gain and feel depressed all over again. I am embarrassed to face it. I am also aware I am not ready to give up my favorite foods, and I am struggling with that.

Sometimes I postpone my fills because my Dr is only available on Thursdays and it conflicts with my work and stuff. :Dancing_biggrin:

I don't mind the questions; I need all the help I can get!

thanks

Since the fills are the most important part of the band working, and you are postponing getting fills, do you think maybe your not ready to lose the weight? Or maybe you are afraid of change? Maybe your afraid to give up your favorite foods? When you postpone a fill what do you tell yourself? I hope you don't mind the questions.

This might sound harsh but to me it sounds as though you are making excuses. It's up to you if you want to lose the weight or not. If you do get with the program. if you don't then carry on the way you are.

It seems silly to have gone through surgery just to have a very expensive piece of plastic sitting around your stomach doing nothing.

Try to remember why you did this in the first place. i am sure the reasons that were there then for losing weight are still there.

Your troubles stem from your head. You need to find out what is keeping you from doing what you know is right. Is it depression; procrastination; anxiety; laziness; apathy; etc...? You should see a therapist or a shrink to try and sort it out.

"I am also aware I am not ready to give up my favorite foods, and I am struggling with that."

Maybe you just need to look at the band in a different way, Let me ask you this, would you be willing to cut down on your favorite foods? I have, I love steak, but I only have 3 oz now instead of 16. I have to eat it slower so it still takes me the same time so I still enjoy it just in a smaller amount. Another example is ice cream, now we only go get it 1 or 2 Sundays a month instead of having it in the freezer so I haven't given it up, I have just limited it. Would you be willing to do something like that? (Feel free to tell the truth here, because there are things I am not willing to give up. I have a glass or two of wine almost every night and I am not going to give it up. I could have probably lost my last bit of weight if I would but I wont so....)

I know how you feel. I have been holding steady since the end of March, though two trips out of town on vacation I am sure had an impact. Those Vegas buffets are killer to anyone watching what they eat. Plus, I drank alcohol, which I hadn't since before my surgery.

I try and examine my deepest feeling and intention and realize I am in this for the long haul, not the short term. My diabeyes is much improved, I bought some new clothes in a smaller size and got into some other clothes I hadn't been able to wear. Everyone says I look great and frankly, I agree. :Dancing_biggrin:)

Right now is a new moment and tomorrow a new day. I have an appt with my doc next week and maybe we will decide I need more restriction. I have had a tough time with completely giving up bread and Pasta ( whole grain of course and in moderate amounts.) I was eating those items even and the scale was still moving down. I guess we just have to try a new tactic, drink more Water, and be gentle withourselves and also, honest. I wish you the absolute best with your journey. We will both make it and feel successful.

Yes I'm willing to give it all up- I've given up alot of things... And yeah, I've cut down the sizes too. It's the snacking in between and exercising more.

and yes I really need to work out my issues about letting food go. It's not worth my life to be too attached to food. I am definitely looking into attending weight loss support group offered monthly at my hospital.

I do drink wine at nights as well. I really need to cut this down too if i have to for awhile until i get my groove back on and try to limit it to weekends only.

I am going to get up and try at this again, and not give up.

thanks for the slap in the face... i do need this.

The last time I went for my last fill, I gained 7 lbs. I am afraid to go again and see another gain and feel depressed all over again. I am embarrassed to face it.

Most of all don't be embarrassed. The Doctors are there to help you, let them. They are part of your team. And Remember, they work for you!

Secondly, don't worry about past failures; it is a waste of time. Start from today! Every day is a chance to achieve even the tiniest goal. If you miss one, don’t worry about it, you get to try again tomorrow. And when you achieve one of your goals, think about what you did differently that made that success possible. And give yourself credit for achieving that goal, no matter how small. You can do it. We all can!

thanks everybody for the encouraging words and the reality of this. :tongue2:

I wrote out a long reply the other day and it got eaten by the message boards!

I lost about 40 lbs leading up to surgery and two weeks afterwards. Then I bounced around for a few months. It wasn't until two months ago when my fills really got me to restriction that I started losing again. Since then I've lost nearly 40 lbs more.

You need to be restricted for this to work. I absolutely cannot over eat now that I am restricted. The band WILL WORK if you get to restriction. Go talk to your doc and get restriction. I promise you, you will feel so differently once you cannot eat too much and are satisfied on so much less. It's not perfect, and I still get hungry, but it is so much different than it was even a few months ago. Believe me, I could not binge if I wanted to. Fortunately, I don't even want to!

Best of luck to you!

Hello guys---

Not a good post here from me but it's the truth and I need HELP.

I feel like a FAILURE in my weight-loss journey.

I've only lost 35 since my surgery 11/12/09. I am dealing with so many things and I really am struggling. I kinda lost my motivation and I am very depressed with my failure. I had 3 fills, and I keep postponing my fill appt's- I should have had 5 by now. I only have 3cc's in my band right now.

I don't exercise like I should- I drink ALL the time with my meals. What is WRONG with me!? I am not doing this on purpose to myself but I just can't seem to get OUT of this FUNK and get going with my journey. I feel that I do have food addiction problem, and I really am stuck in this funk- I was so excited for my LAP-BAND® and now I am regretting it- I know it's ME that has to WORK it and make it work... I just CANT find the motivation and am screaming to get it back.

Any one of you going through this? How do you PUSH yourself to do better?

I am very jealous of all of your successions, BUT i am very proud of y'all! KEEP it up, please don't be like me! <3

Read "Eating Less" by gillian riley (Amazon) and see my post on this board on why I had my fill removed. You probably are addicted to food and need help with that. Riley's plan worked for me. A $7 book may change your life like it did for me.

Just my humble opinion.

Sadie

I agree that all or nothing thinking is not the answer. My weak spot is full fat mayo. Now my rule is only on a tuna wrap or sandwich and this is once a week at most. Or things like pies and pasties i can have only when i go to the football (once every couple of months) On those "special occasions" I try to make my other meals healthy.

One mental exercise i am trying right now is I am imagining myself doing something that i need to have lost weight for. Like I have always wanted to scuba dive and I got too fat so I am making that a goal.

When you gain try not to get mad at yourself this only makes it worse. Just get back on the horse

Have you considered getting treatment for depression?

You might find your motivation increasing if you get help! I've fought it for years. You don't have to be miserable.

Seek help. Go to your PCP to start!

I feel your pain. I'm in the same boat as you. Almost gonna me a year in July 20th .. but have only lost 30lbs. I go every month for a fill .. some times i gain like 1 or 2 lbs.. sometiems i lose .5 lbs. The dr. gets mad.. I feel a bit of restriction.. then the week before i go get a fill.. i feel like i can eat more and more..

I do not know what to do either.. I also feel like failure.

UGH.. i'm with ya!! Next week is my last fill after that I have to pay out of pocket.. :thumbup: i wanna cry...

hang in there you are not alone!

kat