Has anyone gone into this just not caring who knows and who they tell?

The only people that knew I was thinking about it was my close family and now my mom is the only one that knows Im going to have it done and that the date is set (may 17th!!!).

Its sad because she doesn't seem excited for me anymore, like its now real to her and she never wants to talk about it or get excited.

I haven't told any of my friends that I am having it done, nor did I tell anyone at work why I need a week off, they just think Im going on vacation.

I am feeling more alone then ever at this point and its not a good feeling at all :-(

Well im still very young and I'm not around many people that are heavier and that are trying to lose weight. If someone was to really ask me how I was doing it and they wanted help losing weight, I would prolly tell them but other then that most people I know have never been heavier and had to lose weight, so Im not sure I believe its there business on how I lose it. Just how I look at it I guess :-/

I agree with both of you. This journey is extremely personal, especially if you've been struggling with your weight for most of your life. To tell or not to tell....that is the question that I've been asking myself lately. My immediate family knows, and that's about it just becuse

I don't like talking about my weight in general.

I say do whatever feels good in your soul!!! :ohmy:

I was at a business meeting last week and a customer said to me "boy you sure have gained a lot of weight". I wanted to tell him to jump in the lake and mind his own business. Not to mention that I could of tossed this guy across the room, thats how frustrating it is to me when someone makes a comment like that. I just smiled and said I was working on it. It is very hard both male and female when people just look at your outside and dont appreciate who you really are. Especially at your age when your friends are so active and coming into summer when bathing suits and all that stuff comes into play.

Even after you lose all this weight remember that you have so much more going for you, keep putting yourself out there and know that your confidence is only going to get stronger.

I was at a business meeting last week and a customer said to me "boy you sure have gained a lot of weight". I wanted to tell him to jump in the lake and mind his own business. Not to mention that I could of tossed this guy across the room, thats how frustrating it is to me when someone makes a comment like that. I just smiled and said I was working on it. It is very hard both male and female when people just look at your outside and dont appreciate who you really are. Especially at your age when your friends are so active and coming into summer when bathing suits and all that stuff comes into play.

Even after you lose all this weight remember that you have so much more going for you, keep putting yourself out there and know that your confidence is only going to get stronger.

Im sorry that you had to go threw something like that, some people just don't know how to keep their rude comments to themselves..

Thanks for the kind works though!

I am having surgry The 29th of april. I had decided a long time ago not to tell anyone except husband and kids. However that changed sun. Had a family/friend reunion. I told everyone. Part because I am excited, but mostly because I was embarresed of my weight gain so I just wanted them to know I knew what they were thinking and I was doing something about it. Now I regret it.

I had no intention of anyone knowing except family, boyfriend(obviously) and 1 very close friend. Work knew I was taking 2 wks off for "vacation". I came back and the rumors flew (cuz I did lose about 20lbs in that 2 wks). This past week my boss flat out said "OH...I someone told me you had LapBand surgery!! You look great!" I asked her who said that :blink:and of course she couldn't remember...now just about everyone (the gossips) now know. I wish I could've kept it private...but LOL whatever:rolleyes2:!!

I had no intention of anyone knowing except family, boyfriend(obviously) and 1 very close friend. Work knew I was taking 2 wks off for "vacation". I came back and the rumors flew (cuz I did lose about 20lbs in that 2 wks). This past week my boss flat out said "OH...I someone told me you had LAP-BAND® surgery!! You look great!" I asked her who said that :blink:and of course she couldn't remember...now just about everyone (the gossips) now know. I wish I could've kept it private...but LOL whatever:rolleyes2:!!

Did you need the whole two weeks off? I took off one week, im hoping its enough!

Hah! I've told everyone BUT family, at least mine. I don't need to hear my dad's "advice." My husband's family is supportive at least.

I told my husband and kids (of course) and my family and close friends - no one else. I just figure it's none of their business.

If they notice that I'm losing weight, I will simply say "thank you" and I'm working hard doing it. The end.

Keep in mind, you don't "owe" anyone an explanation for your choice or your surgery - this is your personal, private journey. Just as you wouldn't feel the need to tell everyone if you had a tubal ligation...you don't have to tell anyone about THIS surgery either.

Naww..the 1st wk was to get stuff done around the house. The 2nd was surgery and recovery. I work at a hospital as a phlebotomist (I draw patient's blood for labs) and I run all around the place. I should've taken my time back. I was hurtin' a bit but it's all good:wink2:! Let your body tell you what to do. If you need more time, take it!:ohmy:

Hah! I've told everyone BUT family, at least mine. I don't need to hear my dad's "advice." My husband's family is supportive at least.

Ya I haven't told my dad yet, I have no idea how he would even react! I am under his insurance as well as my moms and tried using his as a secondary but they dont cover it so I am hoping he doesnt get the same letter I do, cuz then he will know!!!

I dont think I wont ever tell him, because when we go out to eat, he will def figure it out!! But my mom, aunt, and grandma are the only ones who know right now and I think I am going to keep it that way at least until I have the surgery :ohmy:

Naww..the 1st wk was to get stuff done around the house. The 2nd was surgery and recovery. I work at a hospital as a phlebotomist (I draw patient's blood for labs) and I run all around the place. I should've taken my time back. I was hurtin' a bit but it's all good:wink2:! Let your body tell you what to do. If you need more time, take it!:ohmy:

Well im in the process of trying to find a new job and im hoping to start (if i get an offer) a week after surgery. I currently work in a bank and will be doing the same thing, so its not a ton of running around, so im keeping my fingers crossed a week will be good!

I tell everyone. I don't think its fair to let others think you are losing weight by just eating less and exercising, it gives them the impression that they are not trying hard enough.

This is EXACTLY why I tell everyone. Someone at work was banded over the Christmas break a couple of years ago. I commented a few months later and ask her what she was doing, because she looked great. She coyly looked at me and said I am just eating less and exercising. It made me feel like great big failure, because I couldn't do it on my own. My friend that taught next door to me found out 5 months later that she was banded. So, we made our appt together and were banded within 2 weeks of each other.

For a lot of people thats all they have to do is eat less and excercise to get the results they need. For me (most of us being banded or already banded) I think that the band will help me eat less and losing the weight will help me excercise more to get the results that I am looking for. For anyone looking to go this route I would definatley be supportive and refer them to this website to share with others who have arrived here.

I'm with you Nean, it's a personal decision. I told my immediate family and two very dear friends. and that's all I think need to know. I am 54 years old and what I do is my business. I wish they had this thing when I was your age. I was banded March 16, 2010 and lost 33 lbs. already, most of it after surgery. It's a wonderful feeling. People are starting to notice my appearance now and it feels good. And if they ask, all I will probably tell them, I decided it was time to take charge of my weight. I don't eat bread, sweets and gave up beer, (everyone knew I liked beer). And that will say enough.

I'm telling people I'm close to about my plans. When I start losing and if people ask I will tell them, I have gone through the "don't tell anyone" with a friend, and it's hard to keep up with who she told and who she didn't.

When she lost the initial fast weight everyone was asking me if she had the bypass surgery, so I was able to truthfully say no. But most times people will suspect anyway.

We have someone at work who had it but kept it secret and that person told me. So now that person won't come to our work dinners because people don't know.

It's all a bit dramatic LOL.

If someone asks I will tell. If they smart off about it or say I'm taking the easy way out, well they can kiss my butt.

Good luck. Just remember the more people you tell, the more likely they are to tell. People get jealous when their fat friend gets thin.