Has anyone gone into this just not caring who knows and who they tell?

The only people that knew I was thinking about it was my close family and now my mom is the only one that knows Im going to have it done and that the date is set (may 17th!!!).

Its sad because she doesn't seem excited for me anymore, like its now real to her and she never wants to talk about it or get excited.

I haven't told any of my friends that I am having it done, nor did I tell anyone at work why I need a week off, they just think Im going on vacation.

I am feeling more alone then ever at this point and its not a good feeling at all :-(

So far I have only told my wife about my plans to have the surgery, she seems to be up an down about, mostly because she is worried about something happening to me. I am in Sales and I will attempt to keep it a Secret. Might even say my Appendix Burst, hahahaha. I am a big eater, so they will notice eventually. I am mostly concerned about people's perception of me taking the easy way out, but I have tried everything. I quit smoking last year so I know that it isn't only a lack of will power. If it is there, I eat it until it is gone.

I've told my family, close friends and my Vice President. When I receive my final approval (keep your fingers crossed it should be any day) then I'll have to tell my team at work. I'm the Manager of Budgets and Financial Analysis . . . I think my team will notice that I'm gone. Since I just took over the position from someone who caused a lot of mistrust I am trying to keep a very open, honest relationship with my team. I think it helps that my boss is very supportive. :thumbup:

I've just started my journey and still have to get consults and psych eval and all that stuff. I told a few of my friends what I was up to, but other than that I have kept the information to myself. I've thought about this over the last few days and it seems a shame that after being ostracized for years about our weight, that when we make a decision of this magnitude to take back our lives and our health that we feel we have to keep it a secret. Overweight people have been judged for years and years. Perhaps if we start sharing our experiences, "coming out of the fat closet" will become more mainstream and more people will look to beat obesity. My nutrition appointment is May 4th and after I get through my first round of consults, I do plan to let people know. I feel like taking back my life is not something I should be ashamed of, but rather celebrated.

Has anyone gone into this just not caring who knows and who they tell?

The only people that knew I was thinking about it was my close family and now my mom is the only one that knows Im going to have it done and that the date is set (may 17th!!!).

Its sad because she doesn't seem excited for me anymore, like its now real to her and she never wants to talk about it or get excited.

I haven't told any of my friends that I am having it done, nor did I tell anyone at work why I need a week off, they just think Im going on vacation.

I am feeling more alone then ever at this point and its not a good feeling at all :-(

Hey i had my surgery on the 6th and I told a couple of people at work, my husband, my best friend and my dad..my boss was really hurt that i didnt tell her but my point of view was.... Once my mind was made up, I didnt need any negative points of view. I needed those around me who supported me, not questioned me. I really don't care who knows now that it is over. If your mother isnt excited for you, include someone else who you think might be. You will need the help and the support and the encouragement once its over, just something as simple as not eating real food in front of you. Its not that difficult but you will need your own little cheering squad to let you know it was worth the effort.

I am having surgry The 29th of april. I had decided a long time ago not to tell anyone except husband and kids. However that changed sun. Had a family/friend reunion. I told everyone. Part because I am excited, but mostly because I was embarresed of my weight gain so I just wanted them to know I knew what they were thinking and I was doing something about it. Now I regret it.

why do you regret your announcement?

I don't think any of us that choose bariatric surgery are "taking the easy way out.". We're choosing to undergo surgery with general anesthesia (just a risk unto itself. Forget that its for weight loss). We have all battled with obesity for years (we all know that we have to have documentation akin to that of trying to get a mortgage before we can even have the surgery). And even after we have the surgery, there is still plenty of work to be done by us. We have to change our eating habits and our lifestyles. None of these things is by far easy. I thought the comment of people being jealous and not liking losing their fat friends was interesting. I've been making a few changes in anticipation of the changes I will have to adhere to later. I had one friend tell me that I wasn't fun anymore because I didn't drink cokes with her and I didn't want to order pizza with her. I guess I had never realized what an enabler some of my friends are.

I told people at work first- two other folks had it done that I work with so it's not really a big deal. Other than that I told my mom and sister (much later in the process) and my son (he's seven doesn't really understand). Oh and I also told my neighbor (she and her hubby both were banded).. .. I don't feel like my friends and family need to know since they will watch over my every bite. If my any of my friends who struggle with weight I will probably be honest with them (especially if it works!!)

My biggest support person is my 14 year old son. He actually went with me to the lap band seminar and was very interested in the process and very supportive of my decision.:eek:

My family and friends know I plan on getting banded. I am not sure if I will volunteer the info to others, though I imagine it will be common knowledge via the grapevine whether I like it or not. My only qualms about too many people knowing is a direct result of self-esteem issues related to being a heavyweight for so many years. I guess I shouldn't care that there are some who will think of me as an out-of-control glutton who's only hope of some self-control is this surgery, should I?

No one will know I am having the surgery. I will not have a support group of any kind. Everyone thinks I should be able to lose 100 lbs on my own. They think diet and exercise should be enough. This is why I looking for support from people who have had the same experiences as I will have.

My surgery is scheduled for the end of May.

No one will know I am having the surgery. I will not have a support group of any kind. Everyone thinks I should be able to lose 100 lbs on my own. They think diet and exercise should be enough. This is why I looking for support from people who have had the same experiences as I will have.

My surgery is scheduled for the end of May.

That must not be hard to have no one. Please feel free to message me if you ever need to talk , come to these boards, and join a support group!