Hello everyone, I'm in the process of researching banding as an option and need your assistance. My greatest fear is of losing friendships. food is my friend, and I have a few relationships that are based on food and alcohol, and my greatest fear is actually all about losing these friends.

I'm a huge emotional eater and party girl, and it's not the food and or the alcohol loss that scares me, it's losing friends that scares me as most of my friends are just like me.

Any of you share these concerns? Any advice?

Pardon me for saying so, but if your friends are keeping you from being healthy then they aren't really friends. Your true friends will support you and those who drop you never really were your friends to begin with.

Thanks for the response. Perhaps I mis-stated things. It's not my friends, it's my exploration as to whether I'm ready to give up the food, and the perceived fun I'll miss out on. My friends are supportive - but this isn't about them holding me back.

I'll grieve over food and I believe that will hold me back even after surgery unless I address the issue before surgery.

Thanks

i really feel for you, but i think you need to think of it this way, it's not that you're losing a friend, but that your relationship will definitely change but for the better and that your life will change for the better. i hope you feel better and i wish you the best.:thumbup:

I can relate, but have been pleasantly surprised at how much I've been able to shift my focus to the company while simply modifying my food choices to still join my friends for lunch everyday. I'm still pre-op, but started to modify my diet before starting the preop diet....so, instead of ordering my burrito on Mexi day, I switched to Ceviche. Now, I'm on liquids and just order Soup....same friends, same laughter, different lunch. I don't feel cheated at all. :thumbup:

Good Luck!

I can relate, but have been pleasantly surprised at how much I've been able to shift my focus to the company while simply modifying my food choices to still join my friends for lunch everyday. I'm still pre-op, but started to modify my diet before starting the preop diet....so, instead of ordering my burrito on Mexi day, I switched to Ceviche. Now, I'm on liquids and just order soup....same friends, same laughter, different lunch. I don't feel cheated at all. :thumbup:

Good Luck!

I feel the same way. I only told a few close family members about my decision, and a few very close friends, but I know my friends wouldn't care if I ate less at lunch, or even just had Water while they ate, they care about me, and want me to feel good about myself so skipping the guacamole and chips at lunch will make our relationship stronger in the long run.

As for the alcohol, I'm not going to lie, I do enjoy it as well, but after the first 6 weeks from what I have read up on here, you can still enjoy it in moderation, so you wouldn't be completely nixing it from your life forever.

I felt the same way!! I'm having surgery in a few weeks and have to go to a friend's going away party a week before the surgery. I'm not telling people, but it will look suspicious that I'm not drinking! BUT, like someone else already said, after a while you can still drink... but we won't have to drink so much to get drunk! Brilliant!

Thanks so much for the replies. It's helpful to me to realize that this issue isn't necessarily only my issue - that others have thought this over too.

The mechanics - the surgery - the recovery - the ongoing support are all important, but there is tons of information about that.

I feel strongly that I have to address the emotional issues before I'll actually be ready.

Thank you again

Honestly, this is a SLOW process and your mind will have time to adjust. It all seems overwhelming at first and you don't think that you'll be able to follow all of the "rules".

You'd be amazed at how quickly your mind will catch up to the band.

food isn't your friend (even though you think it is) - you will begin to develop good and healthy REAL relationships, once you give up the food is everything mentality.

Good luck to you!!!

I really like what you said Mrs. McCabes. Good Advice to remember.

I love food and alcohol (yes, I said it!). I am a fanatical cook and baker, cookbook and recipe collector, read books and magazines about food and wine, and love to go out to eat and drink with friends. I also used to be a bit of an emotional eater (especially when angry), but the band has helped me with that, and given me control over how much I eat no matter what situation I am in. It hasn't changed my love of food and it hasn't made me give it (or anything else) up, just helped me reduce the amount I eat. It also hasn't interfered with any relationships; in fact, my eating and drinking habits appear pretty normal to people who don't know I've been banded.