Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

I feel like a huge disaster I let down myself and im disgusted.

Well where to start. Had my sugery in March of 09. And since July i haven't lost any weight. I totally 100% know it's my fault and i hate myself for it. My husband is in Iraq and is coming home Sometime in April we think and i feel like i should have done SOOOO much better. He's gonna come home to me and i'm gonna look the same! No i did not do this for him, but i remember b-4 surgery and right after we were both so excited and looking forward to next year bc i was gonna be thinner and healthier. And im not. i was 208 surgery day and I'm around 196. wtf is that. I'm so disgusted with myself. I'm on fill #7 and i have NO restriction at all. On like fill #4 i was filled too tight and couldn't eat or drink anything and the next day i had an unfill of .25cc and it was a huge difference and the doc was like well you prolly wont need any more fills since this one was too tight. And now Im on #7 idk how that is. He thought maybe i had a leak but i dont cause i should have 8cc in there and he was able to take out 6cc he said there should always be 2cc in there so he said it wasn't leaking. But im just lost. SO far lost. I work full time go to school on line and have a 3yr old son with no help. It's killing me. And my self esteem. I never see me getting thin and healthy. I need to be kicked in the ass or something idk what it's gonna take. I have a friend that was the same size as me and both our husbands are deployed well she moved away and like 5 month's later i find out she's like a size 8 and i'm like how did you do that and she said Oh i just stopped eating so much! WOW i wish i could do that. Like why can't I??? How is a cheese curl stronger then me. Or Why am i eating when my stomach isn't growling??? WTF is wrong with me! where is my strength and will power! how can i find it?:)

  • Replies 56
  • Views 5.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Featured Replies

I am sorry for your frustration! Exercise, Exercise, Exercise! That is the key. Calories in vs calories burned. I know you are probably sick of hearing that, but that is the solution.

I got the lapband to assist me with my caloric intake. My metabolism is so slow, that if I look at food I gain. I have to eat minimally, and exercise my butt off to lose even a pound! I wish you luck. Use your frustration to work off those pounds. It is difficult to get started, but once you incorporate that into your routine, you should be good.

Keep a food journal to track your calories, and exercise those calories off!

PS I am a single mom; and juggle my time between my son, work and school too. I hope you are on this board in 6 months so that you can give me that same advice!:lol: I have to be accountable for every bite I take, and make sure I work it off! Hang in there!!! :smile2:

Edited by lisaluvsgreys
typo

It sounds like it is more will power than anything else.

You know why the lapband is not working and you know you are eating too much.

I'd suggest seeing a therapist and getting to the root of what is driving you to eat if it is not hunger.

  • Author

Yea i wanted to do a therapist but it's a little hard with Work school and being a single parent. i have no time. That's why im trying to use this as an outlet.

thanks for the input though

  • Author

Anyone have any work out video's they really like or that have helped them at home???

Oi have I been there!!!...Since your son is three I suggest the work out balls...My daughter is 8 but when i got her her own work out ball and put the video in she Loved it...and for him it will just feel like fun time on a ball with you...he wont notice the difference and your going to be able to get some exercise in...I do agree that maybe there are other issues but when your given the opportunity to address those you will...Your husband married you for YOU...he will love and support you regardless of this minor set back...When I met my husband I was probably around 270...after alittle over a year and getting all the way up t0 407 his love never changed...just his concern...Stress affects your band as well...Its a new year...just reset your frame of mind...Make this year yours!...Learn from the mistakes of last...I wish you all the luck in the world!!!

Water and Protein... find something that's easy for you and fits into your uber busy schedule. smoothies, protein, and some exercise just 30 mins a day will make a HUGE difference.

A smoothie can keep you full, hydrated and not feeling deprived, while keeping your calories down.

For example...I make a strawberry smoothie that tastes like a milkshake (recipe is in my blog) it makes 32 ozs, which is easy to sip on and stay full through out the day.

When you need something to eat, make the right choice, don't buy the cheese curls, don't keep them in your house, your 3 yr old doesn't need them either. Replace them with carrots, etc..

If you're like me, if it's there, I'll eat it... just remove it completely. On Sundays pre-cook your meals and Snacks for the week so you can just grab them and go, all you'll have to do is heat them up. It's much quicker than going through the drive thru or trying to make a quick easy (usually bad for you) meal.

What you're going through is quite normal, what in the navy we called "west pac widows", I know it has a term in every branch, but basically we go through a period of mourning and adjustments, weight gain is usual indicator. In your case you're not gain, but you're not losing either.

Is this your husband's first tour? Usually on the first tour or two we're sad, by the 2 or 3rd we're motivated and our husband's don't recognize us when they come home lol.

If you need some support or just someone to talk to, message me. I've been there, so I understand. You'll get it together.. put a picture up of something that will remind you not to eat and to get to your goal, put it everywhere on the fridge, in the cupboards, in you car's dashboard, etc....

Anyone have any work out video's they really like or that have helped them at home???

I use the leslie sansone walk at home, and the biggest loser 30 day shred videos at home. These will help you get your metabolism back where it needs to be.

You need to make the decision if you want to do this, or not.. don't let any junk food, sliders into your home. They aren't healthy for you or your child, so just ban them from your home. Mare sure and keep plenty of liquids with you... drink before you eat, see if you are really hungry or are thirsty.

You still have 3 months before your husband comes home. You can make huge strides in 3 months!!! You can do this!!

Oh! I know the answer to this one!

First of all, you're so busy kicking yourself in the tushie that you can't focus on anything else. If you truly need a good tushie kicking, let me help you out:

Knock it off! You are not a disaster! You're simply stalled, and what you need is a good jump start. If self loathing burned calories, you would be a size two by now. Crawl up out of that pity puddle, take all that energy you are wasting and put it to more productive use! Yes, you CAN do this!

It sounds to me like you are exactly where I was several years ago. I was a young mother with two preschoolers and one in first grade. My husband worked out of town and we only had one car. Very rural area, and we just moved there so I knew nobody. I felt very closed in, like I needed air.

So I got some.

You don't need a cabinet full of videos. You need a stroller and a pair of walking shoes. Girl -- that three year old of yours is THE best piece of exercise equipment you can have! I would rent him from you if I could, LOL.

Put that little cherub in the stroller and get outside and ... BREATHE. Notice the clouds. Stop and admire a garden. Meet a neighbor. Think of ways that you'll greet your husband when he gets home. Think happy and you'll be happy. And the thing is -- you don't have to walk fast. You don't have to walk far. Just walk.

I did this every day. Pushed the stroller to a nearby convenience store just for something to do, and bought a newspaper every day. Maybe a mile, round trip. I wasn't dieting. I wasn't even conciously exercising. I was just trying to escape my own depression.

Within two months, I had dropped from a size 18 to a size 12. I am so not kidding you. I had been wearing leggings and didn't even notice. When I went to put jeans on, I was like ... hang on, where did I leave my tushie and when did I grow a waistline??

You have a minimum of 13 weeks before your hero returns from war. This is SO doable! Stop kicking yourself in the tush and get out there and walk, walk, walk. You can do this!! One mile a day, minimum. More if it feels good. Won't take any time at all, and it will be WONDERFUL for both you and the baby. So go on, lace up those tennis shoes and just do it -- I dare you!

In fact, I double dare you. :smile2:

I am a military wife also. I understand how hard it can be to have to do everything by yourself. My husband isn't deployed, but his job takes him away from us for 5 days then 4 off, but his days off he's usually doing things at work anyway, so not much help from him. I have 4 daughters, run a home daycare and take classes online as well. I know how tough it can be to find time to exercise. I used that as an excuse for quite awhile. Finally I remembered why I got the band and I kicked my butt into gear. I started using Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. It is hard at first, but it does get easier. I also use Wii Fit. I try to alternate days.

Also, the junk food, like cheese curls, just keep them out of the house. We had a tremendous amount of pies, Cookies, and chocolate these past few weeks for the holidays. I was eating pie every night! I wasn't losing. Well duh! Of course I wouldn't eating like that! I finally just had to give away what I could and throw the rest away.

I have also started to focus on making sure I get enough Protein in. And believe it or not, I wasn't getting in enough calories. That's important too. I found that I need around 1100 calories and at least 60g of protein to lose weight. Since I had this revelation, I have lost weight every day (yes, I weight myself everyday, it keeps me motivated)!

You got the band to be healthier, you need to make it work for you. You need to work with it instead of against it.

You still have 3-4 months before your husband comes home. You can choose to make those 3-4 months count. Don't give up!

If you need to talk, you can pm me.

Karyn :smile2:

:smile2: Hummm sounds like youve stretched your pouch to accomodate the food you are eating. I read on this forum that if you return to the full liquid for 5 days straight the pouch will shrink back quite a bit. Only eat 1/2 to 2/3 cup of liquids at a meal while doing this. Then start back eating what you are suppose to eat according to your doctor. Anyone with lapband WILL gain weight if they dont eat right. If I sip on milk shakes all day, I will gain and not even stretch out my pouch. So eat what you should, protein first and dont exceed 1 cup a meal when you are off liquids.

I'll tell you what I'll do ... if you want to start walking, and if you commit to walking one mile a day, I will match it. It'll be my own little thank you to your husband for the sacrifices he's made for all of us.

If you're up to the challenge, I am. And any other military wife, for that matter. My husband works in the private sector now, but he was a Marine throughout the Regan Administration, and spent more than his share of time overseas as well.

If anyone is interested, drop me a private message and we can start a group or something. It could be fun!

  • Author
:smile2: Hummm sounds like youve stretched your pouch to accomodate the food you are eating. I read on this forum that if you return to the full liquid for 5 days straight the pouch will shrink back quite a bit. Only eat 1/2 to 2/3 cup of liquids at a meal while doing this. Then start back eating what you are suppose to eat according to your doctor. Anyone with LAP-BAND® WILL gain weight if they dont eat right. If I sip on milk shakes all day, I will gain and not even stretch out my pouch. So eat what you should, Protein first and dont exceed 1 cup a meal when you are off liquids.

IDK maybe i have stretched it out. But every time i get a fill shouldn't it go back down???

  • Author

Ok i hate the taste of protein powder it's so gross. But from what i've heard you have to have protein to burn fat and calories. So anyone know of a brand of protein powder that isn't gross or better yet how do i use it to help me!

Yay! We've got three people for our Mile Match. Come on, Banders, surely there are more of us who could use a one mile walk each day, yes? Adopt a military spouse and walk with him/her every day -- a lovely way to say thank you ... and to get ourselves moving, to boot!

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.