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"You're only nineteen." "You don't need to have surgery." "Losing weight isn't impossible. If I can do it, anyone can." "How is it even possible to not lose weight." Sometimes not everyone understands another's decisions. Which is totally rational. Not one person has gone through the same thing as another. In my eyes that gives no one person grounds to judge another person on their decisions. I am nineteen. This is true. But what makes my surgery so much more taboo than another person's surgery? What makes my surgery different that a girl my age getting a boob job, or a nose job? I can't do something to benefit my health, and my over all apperance? To create something better for myself; No matter what the cost. I understand why people believe I shouldn't get this surgery. I get it. I'm young. But the great thing is that I am having a procedure done, early on in my life, that will teach me about the lifestyle change I have to make. In order for me to live a healthy, happy life I believe that I need to have this done. Not only because I know I will be more confident, but I will be able to step away from being a prediabetic as well as my sleep apnea. I used to dream, as a little girl, of what it would be like to feel pretty. To be comfortable. To walk around in my own skin and not feel like I was disgusting. Somedays I didn't want to leave the house. I felt repulsive. I felt like it would be better for the world, and myself if I just didn't go to class that day. No one would have to look at me, and I wouldn't have to look at everyone else...looking at me. For whatever reason. I know that this deicision is the best thing I could do for myself. I know that because I am young, I can change my whole life because of this. And I'm excited for it. I am excited for the new me. I deserve it. My surgery date is October 10, 2012. I am so unbelieveably excited to start my life.

I weighed in at 226.6 yesterday. I am ok with that amount although I wish I was losing more weight. I go over my eating habits everyday, I know what Ive eaten and I stick to the same things each day. Im thinking that I need to increase my water and my protein. Although my scale is slow in moving, I must say that I am pleased with how I feel in my clothes as I am more aware that they are looser on me. Another cool thing that I have noticed is that I used to get winded walking from the parking lot to get inside the building at work and that doesnt happen anymore. That part really feels good because it was embarrassing to be panting behind coworkers as you start off the day, lol. Ive been having some slight aches in my abdomen and im wondering what I can attribute it to. I have been working on my off days at the state fair thanks to my ever so thoughtful husband at his company's display. The coolest part besides him visiting me every night I work is that I met a lady who is working there too and she got the lapband about two years ago and she has lost 150lbs!!! Very cool. She showed me her before pic and said she couldnt believe how big she used to be. We have the same food issues and experiences, so it was a very relatable conversation. She stressed how important it was to get the water and protein in and to exercize or even just start walking. Making my adjustments soon, the colder weather has arrived and I need to get some new cold weather clothing to wrap myself up in.

Welp, I did better than last week and lost -3.1 lbs this week. I'm definitely starting to see patterns in my body, and how it reacts to things throughout the week. On Wednesday I weighed in at 185.6, today (only 2 days later) I'm weighing in at 187 lbs. I'll take a loss, no problem, but it intrigues me how my body bounces up and down a pound or two during the week. One of my healthier habits I've acquired since surgery, is weighing myself only once first thing in the morning when I wake up, and not doing so again until the next day. I use to be obsessive compulsive about weighing myself multiple times a day, praying I would see some kind of loss, if even a few ounces. By only weighing myself once a day, I feel like I'm seeing much better results and not dwelling on it as much. Things I also know that have been working for me are laxatives. On Monday I tried miralax dissolvable (pre-measured packets- love it) in my coffee and it worked wonders. On Wednesday, I tried a good old laxative pill and it worked wonders as well. So now I know that if my body needs a little push to dump the toxins out of my body I have options. I'm very wary of taking any laxative every day because your body becomes dependent on them, and I do NOT want that to happen. I've been fairly regular up until last week, so trying different things this week brought a lot of relief to my system, and my numbers dropped as well. I will say that my biggest NSV to date happened today. I have about 20 pairs of jeans ranging from size 16 to size 8. About 3 weeks ago I was able to squeeze into my size 12's that have been getting looser and looser. Today being Friday and jean day at work, I decided to reach for my prized (slightly expensive, but fabulously fitting) size 10 jeans just to take an assessment of how they fit and how much farther I have to go. I put them on, and to my shock and amazement- they fit. Perfectly. No muffin top either. I went and looked in almost every mirror of my house just to make sure I wasn't hanging out or fooling myself. Nope- they fit! I felt overwhelmed with emotion this morning, over a pair of jeans. It's been YEARS since I've worn them, and even then I remember the last month or so I was able to wear them, I was wearing spanx and girdles trying not to bulge out thanks to the evil muffin top! After I got in my car, got my son to school, and just started thinking- I went into a Zen like state. I just felt like everything was going to be okay. I don't know what my all-time ultimate goal weight will be, or when my body will stop losing weight, but right now, the feeling of having my beloved size 10's fit me, is enough to praise God and count my blessings. I love my sleeve! Height: 5'9 Highest Weight: 216 Current Weight: 187.0 1st Goal Weight: 169 Sleeved: (8/17/2012): 216 lbs Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)

Its good you realized it was just PMS and it will pass. Four days after surgery I started getting the same thing. I actually havent been able to gauge how this sleeve will work for me because Im so rediculously hungry all the time. It really sucks. If you have had your sleeve for a bit I assume things will go back to how it was before! Hang in there!

Depending on what the reasons are, you can try and adjust your position with pillows, prop your legs up with pillows while raising them up on the recliner. I sleep with either a fan in the window, the ceiling fan, or a big fan on the floor blowing either on me or away from me...any one or a combination, to help me sleep. If I am hungry and cannot sleep, I eat something...even though it's late...getting my protein is the most important thing I have to do...same for you. Perhaps a nice shower, some lotion on your skin, comfy socks, and a hot chocolate...while sitting in front of the tv watching something you enjoy until you fall asleep will help. Try different things until you feel comfy...that should help.

God Bless & Good Luck! five days!!

Well, I'm more than 2 weeks out now. Soreness is all gone, incisions are nearly healed, itching has subsided, and I'm eating regular food now. I was also happy to see that after I got off the mushy food stage and onto "real" food (protien and leafy greens), the weight began coming off better. It was seeming slow to me while I was on the mushy foods, probably because of the carbs and heavier soups, etc. things that Iwas consuming. Now, though, focusing on lean protiens and leafy green veggies has allowed me to jump start the weight loss. I came to a strange realization after my post-op visit. I always knew the RNY was going to be a "tool" for me to be successful in losing weight. But I guess it didn't really sink in how I would use that tool until after it was over with and I had the green light to eat again. I realized then that it's still up to me to lose the weight through my behaviors and getting more exercise, but the RNY removes the things that prevented me from being successful before (HUNGER! and a feeling of deprivation). I suppose I knew it intellectually beforehand, but the reality set in only afterward. I tried the Bariatric Advantage multi-vitamins and calcium. The vitamins are fine; however, I couldn't stomach the nasty mint-flavored Calcium Citrate chewables. I found that I'd much rather take 2 caplets twice a day and found a great alternative right in my local GNC store. Each of us is different and we just have to find what works. I'm starting to notice a difference in my clothing! Things are getting looser and I even had to take a link out of my watchband. It's the little things, right?! Starting: 317# Pre-Op: 296# Today: 283.5# Total Down: 33.5#