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I went clothes shopping yesterday & for the 1st time in a LONG time, I saw something different in my reflection as I tried on a pair of pants. I took a long, hard look at myself, tilted my head & actually saw myself as "thin." Yea, that's what I said, THIN! I actually fit into size 8 pants. Yup, a size 8. I think my average pant size in high school (31 years ago) was a 10, so I'm fitting into smaller clothes. I saw a pretty sleeveless little black dress in the fitting room (size Medium) that someone else left behind. Feeling a little brave, I figured ah, what the hell. I haven't warn a dress in YEARS so let's try it on. Oh... my... goodness... Not only did it fit, but it actually looked really nice! I mean, it really looked nice. I had an attractive hour glass figure. Seriously, me! I came out of the dressing room to show my husband. He winked and said "very nice," followed with, "are you OK?" I smiled because I actually had tears in my eyes. I was overwhelmed with such emotion. I didn't cry but I could feel something deep inside me. It almost felt like a happy confusion because there was no denying that I was no longer overweight. I'm still amazed. After 1 1/2 years on this weight loss journey, I'm finally comfortable & quite happy in my own skin! Ahhhhh..... feels good, damn good!!!

So I've decided after 'testing' my news about a lap band, that I won't be sharing the information with everyone. I'm lucky in that I have great girlfriends who are usually open minded about most things. Apparently though that stops at weight loss surgery. I mentioned that I was considering lap bad surgery and what an uproar that caused. No, no, just eat right and exercise (like I haven't tried that a bazillion times. Oh why would you do any such surgery like that - have another cookie. Do you know what the failure rate is? BLAH BLAH BLAH I try to be an independent gal. I like to do research, I like to investigate and I really like to decide for myself no matter who says what. And I did a lot of research and I question a lot. I've read posts here on this site and on other sites too. Sometimes people 'failed' for reasons beyond their control. But often it seems that people don't do well because they don't want to work. This will be work! But I welcome that type of work and remain positive that if I comply and follow the rules, the band will work for me. I've decided to not share my upcoming surgery plans for now. I don't want negative energy, I don't want those that love 'hovering' and watching every move, or calling constantly to try to 'help' me. I want to remain in the sunny side focusing on my health and what is right for me in my circumstances. In the world we need more support and those that see what isn't right for them may just be the right thing for others.

Bless your heart! You've really been through the wringer. I hope everything starts going well for you. And don't feel too sorry for that girl. I've taken care of plenty of patients just like her. You don't get to the point of having your kids taken and your family rejecting you if you haven't had some part in it. I hope everything goes much better for you now. Best wishes on your wieght loss!