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Wow! Today has been a 180 from yesterday in terms of how I'm feeling about myself and the surgery. I am not down in the dumps. I kept super busy most of the day, but when I was able to wind down, I had some time to think about some of the things I was told in my pre-op class... My dietician told me that she likes to listen to audio books while she walks on her treadmill or exercises. There are a few reasons why this is an awesome idea... 1. Watching TV while exercising you have 1/3 commercials... most commercials are of fatty, delicious food. Seriously, NOT what I need when I'm trying to lose weight and break bad habits! 2. Music is a good option too, but after a week, you've heard them all and it doesn't really appeal anymore. 3. If you are like me and enjoy books but don't have time to sit down and read in the peace and quiet... kill 2 birds with 1 stone! Knock out my exercising and feed my brain all at the same time! I thought, well, I will give that a try. Looking into it, I found that it is really expensive to download books... goodness gracious! After some researching and confusion of what their "deal" was, I found that I like audible.com best. I got the app for my iPod touch and download a few books. I found some good inspirational books by Joel Osteen... How? I'm not sure... I have NO idea how his book got brought up. Thank goodness it did though! It was just what I needed and I didn't even know it. So, I downloaded my book, ran downstairs, and fired up the treadmill... for the second time since surgery. (I've been walking, but more aimlessly around inside buildings and even my house.) I haven't had the motivation to really get into exercising yet for some reason. I got excited about the audio book thing though and was eager to get going. I hopped on the treadmill and next time I looked down I had been on for 10 minutes... like nothing. I only ended up walking 15 though. I didn't want to overdo myself because I'm still pretty sore at times. This book (so far.. I had to stop myself after the intro, before he got into "Day 1") talked about how your words affect your future. If you wake up tired and say, "Oh, man. I'm just so tired. It's going to be a horrible day." It will be. I've been told that a million times... blah blah blah. I know. I needed a reminder though. If you're feeling tired, say outloud, "I feel great. I'm healthy. Today is going to be a great day!" It will be a good day! Also, it talked about how no one believes the things you say about yourself quite as much as you do. If you tell yourself enough that you are beautiful, happy, blessed, radiant, soon enough you will feel like you are... and you will be! I needed these words (although I paraphrased A LOT from what the book says) I hope that they help someone else through their time of difficulty too. Today truly has been a great day for me. I hope it has been for you too!! I HIGHLY recommend considering listening to an audiobook while exercising. There are soooo many out there that there will be something for everyone to download.

Today is post op day 21. So I went back to work today, and I am beat. I guess I am kind of shocked that I am so tired since my job is mainly sedentary. I did find having lunch was a little awkward because I normally have a premier protein shake for lunch. I did manage to eat a couple bits of grilled chicken so for dinner I will have a shake. I am still having problems with getting 64oz of liquids down so if you have any suggestions please let me know. Surprisingly I had a couple of people notice that I have dropped 24 pounds. The recognition really made me feel good! Keep up the Good fight!

OK, so I had a little bit of a set back today. After reading through other Sleevers blogs, and entries, I started noticing that I wasn't the only one who had a plan and a goal of when I had hoped to have surgery completed by. As I was reading, I saw a trend of people who had thought they were on the right track, only to be told they were going to have to wait longer. I'm one of them! I have been doing the 6 months weight loss / program with Hills. Not the My True Body that held weekly classes, but I've had monthly weigh in's with my PCP, met still with a nutritionist, and completed the psych eval. What I wish, is that someone could have told me earlier to start getting my psych eval completed back in month 4 or 5 so not to wait any longer. The PE was completed on 11/12, but wasn't submitted to my PCP until yesterday, 11/26. Um, hello, what's the hold up?! I understand that there was a holiday in there, but really, two full weeks to make sure I'm of sound mind? That was frustration number 1! So yesterday, I speak with the PCP office, and they inform me that everything had been submitted, so I call the Insurance Coordinator to follow up with her, and don't hear back...so I call again today and she still hasn't received it. So back to the PCP doctor I go, and ask her to please follow up with the Coordinator, I'm dying to make this happen. Frustration #2: I hate not being in control. I'm always the one who does everything, for everyone, myself included. So not being able to receive the documents, and submit myself has been a bit frustrating. I then call the surgeons office, speak to their coordinator to inform her of what is going on, and keeping her in the loop as we had a plan that I "should" be able to have everything completed by the end of the year...notice the quotes around "should", yea, Frustration #3! The coordinator informs me that she is now booking into the 2nd week of January! Now I know I didn't get unhealthy over night, and I know that I need to be patient, but the kicker in all this is that I'm getting married in 6 months, and I was hoping that I would have those 6 months to get used to my new body, new habits, new way of life, you know, the whole "NEW ME!" I'm afraid that the longer I have to wait, and the closer I get to my wedding, I'm going to turn into more of a basket case. Am I crazy to have WLS so close to my wedding, or am I just over thinking it? My job is planning weddings for other couples, so naturally, now that it's my turn, I'm close to having everything completed. However, I've been putting a lot of time and effort into researching the sleeve procedure, and getting myself ready and I had planned to start finalizing wedding details in January, you know, one big thing at a time...so tell me this, am I crazy??

Thanks Aj! I learned this in my nutrition class 5 mths ago ,but forgot most of it. I know 3 oz of meat is a deck of cards. Going to print this out and carry it with me.

Yesterday I learned that my doctors office submitted everything to my insurance company for approval, and now I have to wait, be patient, plan for the best etc....I hate being patient., I've always been in charge of my own life and now I'm putting it into someone elses' hands...I pray fr the best!! Does anyone out there have Western Health Advantage / Hills insurance?? I can't wait to start my new journey, I'm so tired of this life and body!!

It seems hard to believe, but after all of this time, we are underway. I started my liquid diet yesterday and so far, it's not bad. Tomorrow, I have a pre-op class, and then they'll be doing my scope, so they can take a peak down my esophagus and into my stomach to make sure there aren't any surprises. Then next week I have my pre-op physical, and then just days after that, it's go time! While all of this is extremely exciting, it's happening at a crazy time of year. With my surgery on the 11th, I feel strongly that I should have my shopping done before I go in, so that Christmas is taken care of. I'm trying to get all of the wrapping and everything done. As a teacher, this is a crazy time, too. This point in the semester is very busy at the high school where I teach, and the night class I teach at the local community college is coming to an end as well. I also sponsor a student community service group, and they have all of their usual December activities. (This is their busiest time of the year.) Anyway, we're all busy, and I just feel like I'm on a roller coaster right now, barreling toward the surgery and everything else coming up. There's not much point to this post other than me expressing the need to pull my hair out right now. But I'm trying to stay focused on my health and getting myself prepared for what's coming. I need to start exercising again, but finding the time is getting trickier and trickier. But if I'm doing this, I know I need to exercise. Anyway, that's where I am today.

I know, you're right =(

Ya know what? I really like the music idea. This might sound crazy, but now that I think about it, I've always found music by Pink Floyd to be very soothing & relaxing. I'm going to have to do this.. Thanks! :-)

Very well said Jenipher!! Sometimes our families aren't going to understand what we are going through, heck sometimes WE don't understand what we are going through, but we all have each other, this has been a very useful support group.... But like the sleeve, it's only a tool ---- WE have to use it! Every day is a new day --- don't give up, keep the prize in mind! Janessa