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As always, I have made my neighbors wonder how I ever got out of the mental institute. At least this time, I didn't flash some poor, unexpecting man my boobs...though he really did seem to enjoy that. No, today I did that thing that we all do sometimes when we are working out. I forgot I was in public. Not only was I in public, it was 7am and there were TONS of people out walking (their dogs or themselves). Before I went on my 2mile walk (yes, two miles...thank you...thank you...thank you...you can hold your applause now LOL) I decided to add some old CDs that I had found to my phone so that I would have something different to listen to as I walked. Great idea right? This would help motivate me, get me moving a little faster, and help keep me walking more than I have been. Well, that's all true. EXCEPT one thing....I forgot how much I enjoyed some of these tunes. So, not only was I singing along as I walked (I tried to stop when I saw someone coming), I was also doing that upper body dance thing with my arms....you know the one right? It's when you start moving your arms and bobbing up and down?! But, that wasn't the worst part, the worst was when I decided to get my legs involved. Apparently, I didn't think putting one foot in front of the other was good enough. Nope, I thought it would be neat to do a little side step ever once and a while....as well as some some back and forth foot work. This wouldn't have been too bad except I got caught BIG time. Not just by the person in front in me walking their dog, but also by the man driving behind me. I have no idea how long either one was there. The BEST part of the whole thing was watching the man walking directly toward me get the look on his face as to say, "what is wrong with her" and ever so slowly cross the road for no other reason to get away from me. And yes, I made sure to say, "Hello" as I passed. I thought about stopping and petting the dog, but I didn't want to be sprayed with mace. LOL After being caught twice in a matter of seconds, I decided that I should stop my dancing and focus on walking. That was all well and good until "Brown Eyed Girl" came on. Something took over and I was unable to control myself. The words came pouring out of my mouth and my arms and shoulders started going. That is until I noticed an older woman walking her dog and another man attempting to control his dog. It was barking and attempting to break away in an attempt to get to me...and it didn't appear that he wanted to give me lovings. Apparently dogs are not very fond of my singing ability. Damn, and I was planing on auditioning for the Voice next year....LOL. Now that I am home, safe and sound. I have decided that going for my walk in the morning is not the best idea. I think I will leave the walking to the afternoon or evening when there are less people out there to scare. I mean come on, I've got to maintain some type of normalcy....or at least pretend to. Now excuse me as I go turn up Price and dance around the house like the Dancing Queen I (think) am.

Well, I am home from the hospital, yay! (I got to leave day 2) The staff and hospital were really wonderful but like Dorothy said, "There's no place like home". I am so thankful for my family and friends being so supportive. It is so surreal now, if it wasn't for the pain I wouldn't be able to tell I had it done. I say that because I haven't had to eat anything, so I don't realize I am taking in less to eat. Towards the end of the liquid diet I was so sick of the same thing I would not eat because the thought made me depressed or nauseous. So I still am on the liquid diet and looking forward to getting off it. I abhor vomiting so I have been really cautious as far as my intake of 4oz per hour. As far as the pre-op liquid diet I did cave on day 10 and had 2oz of chicken and 6 chicken nuggets, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have no regrets because the chicken was fabulous but I did force myself to vomit some of it up because I was worried about the food being inside me so close to my surgery. I don't reccommend my behavior to any one but I wanted to be honest. I am experiencing some pain but nothing my pain meds don't take care of. What truly amazed me was right after surgery my high blood pressure was gone. I was convinenced that they were giving me iv meds for it but no they weren't. I have had high blood pressure since I was 19 or 20 years old and now it just up and left me. It's just miraculous. I think it is going to take some time to adjust to everything. I did lose 13 pounds from the liquid diet so that is a plus. The one fear that has its grip into me is that I won't lose the weight. What if I did all this and don't lose any weight? That thought alone just gives me the creeps! Well, good luck to all of you on your journey. God bless us all!

I've been trying to implement change in my life. It hasn't been easy. My sub-conscious isn't going down without a fight! It's been really hard to fight the urge for carbs, but I took a huge step today by eliminating most of them from my cabinets. I did some shopping over the weekend and again, it was really hard to fight the carb monster. Oh, my favorite macaroons are fresh out of the oven? NO! RESIST! Free sample of my favorite pizza? STOP!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! Toaster Strudel on sale!? YOU BASTIDS! And then it was like a light bulb went off (dimly, still working on it), and I realized that Toaster Strudel is probably a great representation of my overall diet choices. Easy, sweet, reminiscent of fruit (but not actual fruit) and comes with an icing packet so I can feel like I contributed to my meal prep. How terribly sad and ridiculous is it to live like that?? So, instead I've been implementing some changes. I've been trying out protein shakes as meal replacements, and so far it's going great. I've been enjoying Muscle Milk, vanilla creme and chocolate are all I've tried, and playing around with flavors. I have some sugar-free chai mix, some extracts and sugar-free syrups that have made it a little more fun. I've been using the ready-to-drink variety of muscle milk and am nervous about buying the big canister. Does it taste the same? Anyone know about this? Also, I've discovered Greek yogurt. Never used to be a yogurt fan, but never tried Greek yogurt since it became "the thing". "If I don't like the regular kind, why would I want the Greek kind?" I'd rationalize to myself like an idiot. It's amazing! I really like Fage the best, but have been settling for Oikos because it's been on sale for the last 2 weeks at my local store. Of all I tried, Fage peach is my hands down favorite. So I've been replacing a meal with yogurt. Well, not the WHOLE meal. I used to buy lunch at the cafeteria at my work, which is usually some double portion carb mess covered in gravy, or a super salty soup with pre-made caesar salad on the side and a big sugary lemonade. Now, I bring a yogurt, some cheese slices and have bottled water instead of the lemonade. I'll get a soup or fresh fruit from the caf if I'm hungry, but I'm usually not. All the extra protein is really making a difference in my appetite! So that brings us to the point in my day once I'm home. I live alone. I have no one to shame me or call me out for making bad choices. That's part of why I'm glad to purge my cabinets. I'll have to use all my willpower not to re-purchase those things, but not having them here is a huge step. When I'm home and ready for dinner, I have a Lean Cuisine. Not the best, but it's portion controlled and easy. Living alone=having all the chores and cooking and cleaning is not how I want to spend my time... half way through cooking the meal, my back will start to ache. Then by the time I'm done and have sat down, ate, food coma sets in, cleaning up is the last thing on my mind. I'm really hoping that losing some weight will give me energy back to DO CHORES. I feel like I'm so gung-ho about changing my diet, that part has been easy, actually, but I have no drive whatsoever to be physically active. I really want that to change. But it's such a short amount of time before my back aches or my feet ache or I'm sweating and feel disgusting... Can't want for all these changes to add up to a better life. I just re-read this and realized my goal for physical fitness is to be able to do chores! HAHHAHHAHA - not climb a mountain, run a 5k - but do some chores. I can't tell if that's very sad or very Marge Simpson of me. lol!!

So I haven't posted in a couple of days. Here is the summary of my wacky adventures this weekend: Thursday- went out with a couple of coworkers to steak night. I managed to get by without completely blowing the diet. Friday- came down with a sinus/ear infection and went to the clinic in Walgreens to get some antibiotics. Had to get that cleared up before surgery which at that time was 10 days out (feeling much better now). Also I was exhausted from the aforementioned steak night and also having to make a middle of the night run to the ship yard for work. So I was in bed relatively early. Small victory- I did manage to find these protein shakes that taste yummy called Pure Protein at the Vitamin Shoppe. I had wanted to try the other flavors before making a financial investment by ordering a case of them. By the way, the banana and vanilla rocks!! Oh and stay away from the cookies and cream, it should be called yuck in a can. Saturday- AKA Day 1 of Hell- Up until this point I had managed to stick to my diet and was holding steady at 10 lbs lost. The day started out crappy with a wake up call from my boss at 730 a.m. to which resulted in having to call several members of my crew, waking them up and finally another trip to the fleet and then the ship yard. Luckily I was home by 930 and back in bed for a nap. My day gets worse. I saunter across the street to see how all the out of town family guests are doing and what they are doing. Of course, being the good time having people they are, they were all drinking and eating really yummy things!! I was able to stave off temptation for a while. But eventually gave in and tried a cracker with jalapeno jelly on it which led to a couple of chips with salsa. At this point, I decided that I was going to go outside and swim 50 laps in the pool so at least if I was going to have a few things I would at least have worked out. I swam the 50 laps and also treaded water for 5 minutes straight. This afforded me (in my mind) a spoonful of Spanish rice with dinner. I stayed away from the alcohol though, the whole not shrinking my liver enough for surgery thing really worries me. If I make it all the way to the operating table and the surgeon opens me up but doesn't do surgery, I will be intolerable. Saturday night was our fantasy football draft and I have to say probably the most annoying thing ever. Everyone was drunk, except of course me and very obnoxious. I guess when you are on the outside looking in, it is not as fun. On the upside, my new found hobby of not drinking has revealed another talent, designated driver! Sunday (today) AKA Day 2 of Hell- I woke up and weighed, and thanks to some miracle I was still at the -10 lbs I had been at all weekend. Part of me was really excited that I hadn't gained any weight but I was also really sad that the scale hadn't moved down either. I decided that the little cheats I had given into the day before were really stupid and that I needed to pull it together, turn the cheek to temptation and be motivated to see the numbers on the scale drop. We all went to Galveston to enjoy the "beach." I can say that I stuck to my diet very strictly. No cheats. I had my shakes and even on the way back from the beach, stopped to pick up my 2nd shake at a gas station, I had to settle for Muscle Milk, which I am not normally a fan of, but it did the trick of tiding me over. I also swam some in the pool and treaded more water. At one point I did have a melt down and attacked Nick over sampling some of the cucumber I was very deliciously enjoying while reading a book (book = distraction from copious amounts of drinking). It just sent me over the edge, that I had my small bowl of cucumber and that he, who could eat anything he wanted was "stealing," my allotment of cucumber. In my head it was no different than me walking up to his plate and stealing his potatoes. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I had been surrounded by temptation all weekend and was doing my best to ignore my growling stomach, the fun being had by all, and all of the bad food items around. It was like an alcoholic working in a bar or a crack head living at a crack house. I snapped and went off on Nick, telling him to pretty much F-off and go eat his own much more tasty food and to leave the starving girl's cucumbers alone. This resulted in me having to go home, have a melt down and refocus. I eventually rejoined the party, apologized to Nick and stuck it out on the diet. Tomorrow will put me exactly 7 days out from surgery. I am really really excited but nervous, the light is getting brighter at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I am carrying around a very fragile expensive vase that I am trying to transport across country ensuring that it arrives in 1 piece. I don't want anything crazy to happen before the surgery to make it not happen, I just want to make it across that finish line. I am resigned to sticking to the diet, working out more this week, being very strict with my portion sizes and hopefully watching the scale move downwards. My goals is to be a total of 17 lbs down by surgery. So we shall see if I end up at my goal. My advice to any of you going through a similar situation, when surrounded by temptation, no matter how bad you want to give in and have something bad just remember, you are doing this for a reason and that reason and it's direct result is greater than a momentary lapse in judgement. Also the guilt the next morning is not worth it. Keep your eye on the prize. Until tomorrow, Amanda

You go, girl! You know what you want and you're going after it! I, too, told people and was glad to hear that most people were very supportive. They can like it or lump it... I could care less either way. I've done this for me! :-)

JFAB! You are going to get there. It took time to gain it, it's going to take time to lose it. You don't want it gone too fast because skin will hang worse. So be patient ok? You are doing superbly! Just keep the nose to the proverbial grindstone and BE PATIENT. It WILL happen if you do what you are doing, with a few tweaks here and there, which you are working on. EIGHTY SIX POUNDS LOST!!!!! WOW in a short time. Better than 1/2 way there. ...... it's all about perspective! YOU GOT THIS!

I agree with these good folks. Educate yourself. Research the chances of actual death (as opposed to the cheap imitation kind) from the surgery. Honestly, the chances are very, very low. On the other hand, the chances are very, very high that you will be healthier, be able to really walk, play with your son, go to school for meetings without embarassing him (or yourself) etc, etc, etc. There's a good like waiting for you. Also, if you currently have high blood pressure or diabetes, chances are very good that those conditions will get lots better. I can tell you that my aching knees are much, much better, too. It feels so good to be able to walk like a regular person!!! That sounds silly, but you will see. I hope. Good luck! You are doing it for yourself and for your family, too.

Well, I think I got my answers.. my surgery is Sept. 28th, so Ill definitely have to quit smoking by the first of September. They told us 6 weeks prior is efficient enough, but then I was told by the nurse that she seen patients not stop smoking b4 or after surgery. I need to quit anyway, I've been smoking for over a decade & it's time to seize the nicotine! I deifnitely think I'll try E-cigs! =) Thank you guys for your feedback!!

Hello! Well, I don't blog as much as I should or would like to. Life is just super busy and super wonderful! I am finally under 200 lbs (this morning the scale said 197!!!). I know this sounds like a lot to many, but I am thrilled. I haven't weighed under 200 for my entire adult life. Starting out at my heaviest at 270...it is a HUMONGOUS change! I really feel great. I have tons of energy. I used to say I wasn't a night person, but...I just might be now. Before VSG, I could go to bed at 8pm and wanted to. Nowadays, I look at the clock and can't believe it is already 11pm and I'm still up and going! I do try to get to bed by 11-11:30pm though. I do like my sleep and need it for health and to rest, due to the great workouts I've been doing. I work out 6-7 days a week. I do something different most every day. Here is a sample of what I have planned for this week's workouts: Monday (today): 1 hr Spinning class and 1 hr Yoga class, after spinning Tuesday: 1 hr Medicine Ball workout; 1 hr power walk Wednesday: 1 hr Outdoor Bootcamp Thursday: either 1 hr Spinning class or 1 hr Bootcamp indoor Friday: 1 hr Spinning class (early morning); 90 min Yoga (lunch) Saturday: Bicycle Ride - 25miles Sunday: Hiking - 8-10 miles I've been following a really healthy plant based diet, 90% of the time, along with doing some yummy green juicing. The other 10% of my diet has included some dairy (greek yogurt and some cheese) and some seafood and a bit of chicken (I just can't turn down a few bites of my husband's amazing jerk chicken). The weight is coming off, whoop whoop, but it has slowed. Now 8 months post-op, I definitely can eat more now than I have been post-op. So, I do have to watch most everything I put in my mouth. I just eat real healthy - no or very minimal processed food, dairy, animal products. In retrospect, it is amazing how much food I used to eat. More amazing is how little food I eat now, need to survive and to loose weight. I have a follow-up appt in September with my doc. At that point I will post before and after photos. Live is GOOD! One Love.