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Blog 10746

A blog by chocolate_snaps in General

  • Entries

    23

  • Comments

    34

  • Views

    428

About this blog

A weight loss surgery blog by chocolate_snaps on BariatricPal. 23 entries on surgery, recovery and progress.

Entries in this blog

Sabotage!!!! I see you!

SO its birthday season in the fam again. Cake...cake and more cake.   I find myself eating more and more. Im not sure if I need an adjustment or if my head isnt screwed on too tight but something has got to give.   What I think is really oing on is that I am nearing the 199lb mark and I am freaking out for whatever reason. I did the same thing at the 299 and 250 marks. This needs to be sorted out. I am going to do some really soul searching to find out why I am so afraid of succeeding. This

Arrgggh!!!!!!!!!!

IDK what the fuck I have to do to lose weight. Im finding myself eating out of anger that Im not losing how I want. BUT you know what, that is self destructive! I workout and I mostly eat right (TOM and stuff). Im competitive with myself and I am not pleasing the judges. FUCKING A! Get it together!:wub:

Back to the Drawing Board

So recent events like my slight unfill and this stupid plateau have me desperate. I am trying to be calm about losing the rest of this weight. Its working but I am ready to start losing again.   The truth is that I am getting kind of anxious about staying this weight. I am not happy with the current state of my fitness either.   So I am giving the 5 day pouch test a go again. I am also going to be trying some different ways of getting cardiovascularly fitter as well as stronger.   Tomorrow

THE PLANE! THE PLANE! I finally see it!

Before and Afters have been what has fueled my weightloss and kept me on task (mostly). However, I cant seem to take one of my own. I had gotten so used to taking pictures for various reasons that now when I seem my image I hardly recognize myself. I am so not complaining!   What I have learned is that the last 20lbs made ALL of the difference. I look like a different person to myself!   The only problem is that I feel that I look sick (not weight-wise). I am hating this winter complexion

Like the deserts miss the rain.

So Ive been pretty MIA for a while. Maybe Im getting that senior bandster syndrome, where RL is just to packed with "I'm not fat anymore" goodness. Nope I don't think so.   The truth is that I was at a plateau and have been struggling with eating well and exercise. I have been getting to the gym less often, much to my chagrin. Lately the source of gym dodging has been my mysterious neck/back muscle pain or lack of transportation.   I have to fully disclose that I am EXTREMELY hard on myself

PostSecret.com is Reading My Mind

SO yeah, this is an anonymous Postcard sent to postsecret.blogspot.com (Google it).   I would just like to know when it will stop. Not the mind reading, silly. When will I stop Being afraid nobody will love me?   Easy answer: when I start loving myself. Good thing I'm working on that.   Hard answer: when I stop hating myself for ever being 344lbs. Good luck with that one.   If you cant read it, it says:   I will never miss the person I lost when I lost 100lbs+. But I will always l

Its My Bandiversary!

This isn't going to be a huge retrospective on the first year of the rest of my life. I am 100lbs lighter and I love it.   Such is the nature of a tragic perfectionist, that I am focused on my goal. What that means is that this bandiversary I am recommitting myself to achieving my goal of 178lbs.   I took this week to begin-again so to speak. I took many steps to gauge where I am in my journey. Here are some:   I saw my nutritionist to remind myself of what and how I should eat. I att

10 1/2 Months out. Who needs a full year to reflect on a life long journey?

Getting the band for me has been a process of more than just losing weight. It has been the warp drive for my journey of self reflection, improvement, and discovery. I have found out so much about myself since last year.   I learned what my body really looks like. Ive seen glimpses of what it can do. I was raised well. I am strong in many many ways and now I can feel the strength in my body. I am not my family or friends. Most importantly I am not what other people think of me. I define me.  

Frustration Nation

What the freaking f*ck is up with my appetite? TOM came and all of a sudden I am RAVENOUS! I mean like a starving animal. I know some of it is head hunger having to do with some minor stuff in my RL but sheesh.   Brownies, cake, Oreos (I used to HATE Oreos), pancakes, honey glazed chicken, fried chicken (used to LOATH fried chix). Furthermore where is my restriction? It is all but gone. I can put away a full plate of food. EASILY.   So with that said, here is my plan from now on. I am makin

Portions may be smaller than they appear.

Well Ive been moving my keister this weekend. I havent been that mindful of my eating though. No worries, I dont think I did any damage to my weight loss. Which leads to a NSV btw. I though that yesterday I really screwed myself up by having eaten copious amounts of crap. But when I took inventory last night on what I consumed, I made a discovery. My perception of how much food is too much has changed. I didnt eat nearly as much a I had thought. Interesting. Food logging in earnest starts in

Journaling. Its different for writers with issues.

Grr, I havent been journaling my food well. But know Im gonna up the anti...Im gonna start journaling food and exercise. Dun DUN DUN!   Tomorrow.:wink:   I joined two challenges this week. They are the Labor Day weightloss challenge and the July Exercise Challenge.   Labor Day Chal. I will lose 20lbs by Labor Day.   July Exercise Chal. I will do: 60min gym workout 3x a week 30min walk 5x a week 20min swimming session 1x per week.   For a total of 23.3 in July

NeoMail to My cousin.

Cousin: Do you still exercise?   Me: Yeah but not as much at the gym. Ive been walking everywhere, doing videos, and fitv shows. I try to get to the gym at least once a week. Lately Ive been at the pool, park, beach, or mall so that a lil bit too.   I joined a weightloss challenge yesterday so Im gonna step up my exercise starting this week. The challenge runs from Monday to Labor Day, I have a goal of 20lbs. Its gonna be hard but its doable. So Im back at the gym at least 3-4 times a week

Food Journaling.

So Im gonna start to actually count my food calories, instead of estimating.   So far today: Food___________Serving______ Calories Farina........................3/4 cup.............120 L.C. Chix Philly.............1......................330 Club Crkrs...................4 crackers..........70 Apple Butter................1 Tbls................25 Wendys Grl.Chx Wrap....1......................260 Jr.Vanilla Frosty...........4oz...................150

Obese!

Holy shit I am OBESE! Not severely or morbidly obese but regular obese! Holy crap! Ecstasy!:biggrin:   I hit 262 yesterday which is the lowest weight of my entire adult life. There is so much to say but I haven't the time...later.

Trouble Allowing

OMG! Today I am soooo obsessed with food. Im looking up food or nibbling or watching something about food. My mind is hungry or something. Or maybe my heart/soul is hungry. But for what? What will fill the void. I don't know. I think I need a purpose. Ive been pretty bored, lonely, bored, unmotivated, blah. I am tired for no reason. I think the kjey is to get my ass back in the gym. Ive been having a hard time getting to the gym but I have been trying to supplement my workout needs with walks

This is what doing the headwork looks like.

I am a very personal person. I dont tell everybody everything. I have two distinct sets of friends, my home friends and my college friends and the two rarely meet. Then there is my family, I dont tell them much of anything.   This was all working out for me until people started making things up about me. I dont want to feel faulted for being secretive. I don't like my personal business discussed and then the result of that meeting of the mindless to be brought to my attention by strangers or

My mind is far-sighted.

Its really funny how even though my body is shrinking my mind isn't. I can really explain the headwork that is being done any better that that.   I perceive my body getting smaller but my mind is struggling to wrap around the fact that I am not 344lbs anymore. For instance, I practice the power of attraction and when I am trying to visualize my ideal weight/size/appearance I see my body as I intend it to be, BUT the closer the visualization gets to my head the less I believe the picture and th

Ode To Lane Bryant! WE ARE OVER!

I wrote this on the Peeved at Lane Bryant thread but I am so in love with it Im posting again:   I am ecstatic that LB has gotten so expensive and boring. It is incentive to trudge on, to eat bandster portions, and to exercise daily. They've gone insane and I am happy.   I love that I will never have to pay $40 for one of their cheaply made tee shirts again. I'm glad that they don't make 36 inseam Supreme jeans any more. I'm glad that they have converted to that new (nonsensical) sizing. I

Sexy Sexy Sexy!

I am loving this new hourglass figure! Today it was called sexy. I havent been called sexy before this day! It is a MONUMENTAL event in my life. Sex appeal is new to me. Yesterday I found myself flirting with who was walking across the street in front of my car. I did the smile-look away-smile bit and he responded. Besides the fact that he responded (because I am AGHAST that he did), what is so exciting is that I didnt freak out. I did drive away though but, I didnt freak out. I would pre-weigh

My Pledge To Myself!

I am giving myself a lifestyle makeover. I have decided that 2008 is the year of Me. Its the year where I come first. My physical and mental health, financial stability, and education/career path are my top priorities. I have promised myself that: I will take my appearance more seriously I will lose 100lbs in '08 I will write more I will keep a cleaner house I will be the star of my own life

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